The "Yep. I'm definitely going to Hell" moment.
- Thread starter Murais
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Murais said:
Nah seriously I've cracked jokes at every funeral I've been to often to the grieving immediate family. My philosophy is that anyone who wants you to be actually sad at their funeral is a douche. Respectful of the dead? Yes. Sad? No. Therefore I try to cheer everyone up with humourous tales from the deceased life, gallows humour and anything witty I can think of.
Such as tales of how when my grandad was young and back in Ireland him and his friends pushed a goat down their family's chimney during a wake. The soot covered goat came out the fireplace and everyone thought it was the devil come to claim the deceased's soul.
Or back when my great grandad's brother passed away they were all gathered round the bed. The deceased had died with his knees bent so the mortician had tied them to the bedposts so they were flat to the bed to make it seem like he passed peacefully. While they were paying their respects someone found the rope and cut one of the corners so the knees jerked and the body sprang out of bed.
Guess it runs in my family...
My friends and I were playing some XBL on Christmas Eve and we told a little kid santa didn't exist....
Oh, i remember that again...now i feel like shit.Jonluw said:
Seriously, i couldn't stop laughing, but at the same time felt so incredibly... bad? I dunno, wasn't that pleasant.
The only thing that made me feel better was when i sent it to a friend of mine and saw how he felt shitty cause he laughed hard, too.
I salute you. (This is the first time I've been nice to a WoW player.)Paksenarrion said:
Also, Paksenarrion, thanks for making a Bill&Ted reference. The world needs more of them.
For me? I'm not sure. I think it's my imagination. My lack of empathy, my hypocritical hatred of everyone else, my insecurity/superiority problems... The list goes on. I'm going there just to keep me away from everyone else.
The moment I decided not to bow down to god 
Seriously though I can't think of anything obvious I have done, but I do have a certain knack for laughing at people at inappropriate times, like if someone has had some sort of accident. My laughter is normally slightly louder than other people or just that bit to long :/
Seriously though I can't think of anything obvious I have done, but I do have a certain knack for laughing at people at inappropriate times, like if someone has had some sort of accident. My laughter is normally slightly louder than other people or just that bit to long :/
Well, we've got the time I suggested the concept of "Super-AIDS", the two occasions I cut a pizza into a satanic pentagram instead of the usual slice arrangement and the various occasions I have yelled "fuckin' Jews!" after messing up a shot on Wii Sports...
There's probably one or two more but you get the idea.
There's probably one or two more but you get the idea.
Can't remember much but there was one time when we were in halls of residence, sometimes we'd just end up watching a movie or something in someones room, so there were 4 of us watching Groundhog Day. If you don't know what it's about - It's Bill Murray having to live through groundhog day over and over again, and he decides to spend all this time trying to get this woman to love him, or something along those lines.
Anyway we were about halfway through watching in silence at about 4am, when I had a sudden realisation, I blurt out "Why doesn't he just rape her?".
Good times, I think most agreed, but it's still a going to hell thing.
Anyway we were about halfway through watching in silence at about 4am, when I had a sudden realisation, I blurt out "Why doesn't he just rape her?".
Good times, I think most agreed, but it's still a going to hell thing.
You too? Ha ha ha.MasterOfWorlds said:
I tease people of their physical ailments all the time. Not because I'm a heartless bastard, but because I don't think. For example, one of my closest friends wears glasses, as he has to. I often call him blind without thinking. It doesn't bother him though... anymore.
OK!, my ex-girlfriend kedpt telling me that her best friend wanted to have sex with me, she was a virgin and obviously joking.
so one day, at a party in my house she told me "my friend is ready for you" and pushed me to my room locking the door behind me...
yeah, well, i gave this girl her first experience... but...i have always felt like a jerk after the fact...
i dont even know what to think, i recently met with her by chanse and she basically told me i ruined her life...
never felt as bad as that day....
so one day, at a party in my house she told me "my friend is ready for you" and pushed me to my room locking the door behind me...
yeah, well, i gave this girl her first experience... but...i have always felt like a jerk after the fact...
i dont even know what to think, i recently met with her by chanse and she basically told me i ruined her life...
never felt as bad as that day....
The time where I told the worst baby rape joke I know, a 9/11 joke and a holocaust joke all in a row.... yep, warm up that spit.
I really want to do that nowWilliam Ossiss said:
OT: Not really anything apart from stealing a lot of money from a shop over a long period of time...
That's not bad, and it's probably once of the most effective ways of snapping people out of it. Unless they're threatening to hang themselves, in which case, tying a noose and threading it through ceiling tiles is a little excessive. But yeah, tough love, mate.emeraldrafael said:
I'm confused, it doesn't sound like a bad thing, does it? It was consensual right?HentMas said:
Sooooo many, but one keeps nagging me.
Me and one of my friends were having a conversation. I don't remember what it was about, except that involved my new contact lenses, which I was really happy and excited over, and she seemed kin dof dismissive. She made a comment that I don't remember, and my comeback was "That's because nobody cares about you."
Oh man, I'm coming back as a slug in my next life.
Me and one of my friends were having a conversation. I don't remember what it was about, except that involved my new contact lenses, which I was really happy and excited over, and she seemed kin dof dismissive. She made a comment that I don't remember, and my comeback was "That's because nobody cares about you."
Oh man, I'm coming back as a slug in my next life.
I gotta agree with you there, but as to individual moments, three come to mind:Ninjat_126 said:
1- In the movie "The condemned" when a man is pushed out of helicopter and is (uninentionally) skewered on wreakage in the water. I laughed so hard my dad thought I was having an asthma attack.
2- After a particularly stressful day I had to have a blood test. I told the nurse, in no uncertain terms, where she could stick her bloody needle. The doctor told me I made her cry. The worst part was I didn't give a damn.
3- Dead baby jokes. I laughed for almost a full minute at the one on this thread. My favourite is "what is red and white and screams a lot?" I'm (almost) ashamed to admit the answer involves a young child with a razor blade.
If I typed em all out I'd be here all day.
I get drunk and then sing songs called things like "Starving Children from Africa Time Traveling to the Holocaust" and "Parkinson's"
I get drunk and then sing songs called things like "Starving Children from Africa Time Traveling to the Holocaust" and "Parkinson's"
(a really minor one) my friend comes to to me and my other friend in the hallway and talked about a movie she saw in nursing class about an autistic kid who learns how to ride a horse (or something can't remember) and I responded "sounds retarded" my other friend laughed but she looked at me and said "that's not funny"