There is a Spider on your shoulder

[Archemetis]

Squish it with the side of my head?

If not then do nothing.
Maybe if I live and let live with the spider it'll learn that maybe I'm not that bad a guy and decide not to crawl in my ear and eat my brains.

 

[roostuf]

I'll bite its head off and throw its corpse to its family and then i'll burn there houses down MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

 

[roostuf]

I would challenge him to a game of tennis and when he least expects it my friends will ambush him from behind and capture him in a glass jar. After capturing him, he will undergo hours of intense torture until he reveals what his plans were and how many other poisonous spiders there are in my house and their locations. I will attach an electronic device around his neck that will explode whenever he disobeys what I say. I will order him to lure the other spiders out of my house and onto the tennis court where they will also be ambushed and captured in glass jars. I will then burn down my house to make sure that there are no other spiders hiding there. Every spider will have their own electronic device attached and I will train them to become my obedient minions. Firstly, they will build me a new house and then proceed to carry out my evil plans of world domination. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

And what if there was a spider amongst them that had the abilities of chuck norris AND duke nukem hmmm?

 

[k-ossuburb]

I'd honestly leave it, spiders only tend to bite if you threaten them. Plus, I think spiders are cute.

Just wook at that widdle face!

 

[ryderawsome]

i was scratching my head as i read "dont move or it will jump in your ear and eat your brains"
i am now without a brain

 

[Bravo 21]

biatch, im wearing earbuds,he can't get to my brains, and even if he could, i have a spider on my shoulder like a pirate has a parrot. in all reality though, whip my coat off, then hop off my chair

 

[ShadowsofHope]

Scream like a little girl witnessing a murder, and go fanatic like I am currently on fire until it leaps off or dies by being slammed into something.

..Why yes, I am very arachnophobic?

 

[FalloutJack]

"Sometimes fear is the appropriate response."

 

[Carlston]

Let it bite me so I can get spidey powers.

Spider me, Spider me, does whatever a spider me does....

 

[The Afrodactyl]

Flail like an idiot before running out of the room and burning down my home.

Y'know, the usual.

This, but with some girlish screaming.

 

[Cybele]

I'm wearing large headphones so my brain is safe, at least for the time being.
I'd get a jar or a bow and catch it, then release it in the basement (it's too cold outside at the moment, otherwise I'd take it there).
How can anyone fear or hate this cute little guy?

Spoiler

 

[TheGuiggleMonster]

I would challenge him to a game of tennis and when he least expects it my friends will ambush him from behind and capture him in a glass jar. After capturing him, he will undergo hours of intense torture until he reveals what his plans were and how many other poisonous spiders there are in my house and their locations. I will attach an electronic device around his neck that will explode whenever he disobeys what I say. I will order him to lure the other spiders out of my house and onto the tennis court where they will also be ambushed and captured in glass jars. I will then burn down my house to make sure that there are no other spiders hiding there. Every spider will have their own electronic device attached and I will train them to become my obedient minions. Firstly, they will build me a new house and then proceed to carry out my evil plans of world domination. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

And what if there was a spider amongst them that had the abilities of chuck norris AND duke nukem hmmm?

He would be too clever to get lured onto the tennis court and I wouldn't get the chance to encounter him.

 

[Craig Cameron]

I'd scream like a little girl and wildly flail about like an epileptic on lsd at a rave

 

[C95J]

There is a spider on my shoulder??

VAKIGA%IBLG&%$ZABN"BV?FKF*DG

there we go, all gone

 

[ragawolf]

turn quickly and lick it into my mouth to enjoy some crunchy yet juicy arachnid.

 

[roostuf]

I would challenge him to a game of tennis and when he least expects it my friends will ambush him from behind and capture him in a glass jar. After capturing him, he will undergo hours of intense torture until he reveals what his plans were and how many other poisonous spiders there are in my house and their locations. I will attach an electronic device around his neck that will explode whenever he disobeys what I say. I will order him to lure the other spiders out of my house and onto the tennis court where they will also be ambushed and captured in glass jars. I will then burn down my house to make sure that there are no other spiders hiding there. Every spider will have their own electronic device attached and I will train them to become my obedient minions. Firstly, they will build me a new house and then proceed to carry out my evil plans of world domination. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

And what if there was a spider amongst them that had the abilities of chuck norris AND duke nukem hmmm?

He would be too clever to get lured onto the tennis court and I wouldn't get the chance to encounter him.

And he would probably kill "theguigglemonster" in a epic show-down that will set the world alight.

 

[Harlemura]

I'd leave him to it. Peter Parker dropped lucky, I don't see why I can't.
I always thought Britain needed a Spider-Man, anyway.

 

[LiudvikasT]

Take the spider and release it outside

 

[Optional Opinion]

Well based on your wording, if I move I die (you think) and if I take too long I die.

So I would just call someone else to remove , or get the cat to kill it.


I'm finding it incredibly hard to read these 'CAPTCHA' anti-spam words.

 

[Nazz3]

I have my headphones on so no worries about it eating my brains. I'll just pick that little cutie up and release it outside.