There is a Spider on your shoulder

[superbatranger]

Hand, meet spider. Spider, meet hand. *Squish*

 

[Zero_ctrl]

I'll flip the fuck out.

 

[Kaltazraza]

Jump out of my chair to get to my vacuum cleaner while getting it off my shoulder.

 

[RAWKSTAR]

Shout 'FLAME ON!' and watch it burn. The nasty 8 legged bastard.

 

[DarthFennec]

Brush it off. Also, spiders don't do that :/

 

[stikku]

i am kinda hungry,

*munch munch munch*

 

[Doctor What]

"Oh god damn, get it off of me! Jesus Christ! AHHH GOD!"

And then I get my mother to get it off of me.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

Why is everyone so manly here.

I would proceed to start screaming and do my "FUCK THERE'S A SPIDER ON ME" dance.

...unless when OP says the angry spider will eat one of my vital organs, he means that I'll get super-spidey powers. I'm down with that.

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

Make the spider my bro. That'll stop him from eating me.

 

[MissGinaKid]

Scream and ask someone to get rid of it. Then stay at least 3 feat away from wherever I saw that basterd last for the rest of the day. Then I would probably get teased for my fear of bugs.

 

[snagli]

Pet it...

depends on the size
small: squash
medium (common household spider): brush off, pierce with pen or corkscrew
large (tarantula sized): brush it off, look at it with fear, overcome fear, trap it, keep it as a pet

Wait, what about giant spiders (Shelob sized)?

with those, i'd probably swallow 5 gallons of insecticide and jump in their mouth. or i put on some Justin Bieber and fry their brain

 

[Andrew_Mac]

I'd reason with it, talk it out of trying to kill me, stating simply, there are no brains in my head, games have rotted them away. We'd share a laugh at the small joke. Ha ha ha, we'd say. Then we'd settle down and have a polite chat for a while. He might move in with me, might not. Then after a few years (assuming he moved it) he'd leave and we'd stay in touch. Later on in life, about 20 years or so, we'd meet when walking down the road. He'd then introduce me to his wife and kids, we'd go out for dinner and everyone gets to live, and no one gets squished/brains eaten. You people are all very cruel. Not everything needs to die.

 

[Mimzical]

If it's a lil'one I don't mind, I'll just try and get it on my hand and put it down somewhere (before it has a chance to eat my brain, of course). If it's anything bigger though, you can expect a lot of flailing about and cursing, before mostly likely stripping off my shirt to avoid the 'contamination'. xD Yehhh... I'm not too keen on spiders, but I don't like killing them nonetheless. Maybe by sparing its life it'll spare mine?

 

[Lilani]

Get it the fuck off then KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bobipine]

hmmm.. unsure,

Either;
Flick it off, try to spot it on the ground and proceed to flee or stare at it to make sure I keep a minimal distance between me an it.

Or simply paralyze in fear.

I... I don't have much affection toward spiders. (it's actually the venom I'm afraid of, and for some reason that's pretty much what they represent to me)

edit: and now I can't help but check my shoulder for the next unknown amount of time.. thanks op, thank you very much

 

[Mimzical]

Hi how are you........dont look..... there is a spider on your shoulder.
When you move it will run to your ear and eat your brains (i think).
What do you do?
Think quickly, if you think to long the spider will become mad and it will eat one of your vital organs.

I would try to charm it with my spider talk. If that fails, it's 'do the strip in 3 seconds' where I shed all clothing at light speed. Try biting me when you're squished by my bra, sucka! ;P

Yes, the 'strip in 3 seconds' and hope some item of fallen clothing will have dealt with the menace is some form or another, where said clothes may stay where discarded for days at a time... even if I have to jump over them to get past... Until a friend can be persuaded to pick them up, all the while watching and waiting for the moment where the lil'fiend leaps out of hiding to eat their face... *shudders* '>_>

*cough* Over-exaggeration aside, glad I've found someone else who thinks stripping down is the best way to deal with this threat. xD Everyone else thinks I'm mad. :3

 

[RandomWords]

AHHHHH GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!

 

[Shockolate]

*Without looking"
"Excuse me good sir, I have noticed that you have somehow made your way onto my shoulder throughout your travels. Would you be so kind as to relocate yourself?"
*Spider*
"Not a problem old bean. You are as polite as you are charming and dashingly handsome."

 

[witness51]

1. An exclaimation of suprise: "FUCKINSHITDAMNIT"
2. Involuntary bodily movements/functions.
3. Sprint around the room.

OR

Let it crawl into my head then blow my head off with a shotgun.

 

[Peter Langdijk]

Pet it...

depends on the size
small: squash
medium (common household spider): brush off, pierce with pen or corkscrew
large (tarantula sized): brush it off, look at it with fear, overcome fear, trap it, keep it as a pet

Wait, what about giant spiders (Shelob sized)?

If an Shelob sized spider is sitting on your shoulder, make a picture and post it on the interwebs.
Then aks on forums what to do