There is a Spider on your shoulder

[Terminate421]

Try to see if its venomous, if it is, I squash it

If its not, I brush it off and attempt to put it outside

 

[Meneghetti]

*run in circles calling my mommy*

*stumble*

*cry*

*Spider eat my brain*

 

[Holyeskimo]

Overcook a grenade

 

[En Row]

I will:
1. take a look at it and confirm its presence.
2. jump out of fear.
3. panic-kingly brush it off my shoulder.
4. run a few meters away from eat.
5. eat a burger

I am damn serious about this

 

[CoL0sS]

"Spider on my shoulder??? Oh no, I'm not falling for that old trick agaAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH."
*thump*

 

[gl1koz3]

I think that his reaction might be faster than us squishing it. You might end up just pissing it off. Probably would get some hard surface to get him on and then burn it in the oven. Though, I have no idea how fast do they react; just applying the usual "uber-killer-thing who just got lost on the shoulder" logic.

 

[OniaPL]

I'll catch it with my tongue and eat it.

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

I'm actually the human torch so... FLAME ON!

 

[BENZOOKA]

Brush it off with a hand.

 

[katsumoto03]

Flail like an idiot before running out of the room and burning down my home.

Y'know, the usual.

Pretty much this. Either that or just brush it off and kill it.

 

[kikon9]

It will run into my ear if I move, so I guess I'm glad I have headphones on.
I swat the little bastard and set it on fire.

 

[mireko]

 

[MordinSolus]

I am salarian. Shoulders not close to ears. If got too close, shoot it. Without shooting myself, of course

 

[Eldan]

Cuddle it. Spiders are enormously cute.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

Nothing.

 

[Cheesus333]

How big is it? If it's wider than my fingernail, my response is to have a panic attack and die.

If it's not, then it can chill there as long as it likes, I have no beef with that.

Also, don't respond to this post with a picture or - once I'm done hiding from my laptop - I will destroy you.

 

[Daveeo]

Just smash the damn spider with my fist.

 

[Omega Pirate]

Pet it, and call it a good boy.

 

[kidigus]

Huh? Oh don't worry, thats just Jerry.

 

[FollowUp]

I would challenge him to a game of tennis and when he least expects it my friends will ambush him from behind and capture him in a glass jar. After capturing him, he will undergo hours of intense torture until he reveals what his plans were and how many other poisonous spiders there are in my house and their locations. I will attach an electronic device around his neck that will explode whenever he disobeys what I say. I will order him to lure the other spiders out of my house and onto the tennis court where they will also be ambushed and captured in glass jars. I will then burn down my house to make sure that there are no other spiders hiding there. Every spider will have their own electronic device attached and I will train them to become my obedient minions. Firstly, they will build me a new house and then proceed to carry out my evil plans of world domination. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

...