Things you dont say or do at a funeral

['Aredor]

Don't show up in your zombie costume, mumbling BRAAAAINS.

Don't show up stark naked, either. But then again, that's a good rule in general. Great, now I'm thinking how weird a nudist funeral must be. Are they dressed in black body paint?

Never admit to having slept with the deceased...or that they were awesome in bed.

It doesn't end well.

Yeah...Doesn't help that his wife overheard.

Wait, so you actually did that? Did you out him by that, as well? That'd be priceless, man.

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Don't show up in your zombie costume, mumbling BRAAAAINS.

Don't show up stark naked, either. But then again, that's a good rule in general. Great, now I'm thinking how weird a nudist funeral must be. Are they dressed in black body paint?

Never admit to having slept with the deceased...or that they were awesome in bed.

It doesn't end well.

Yeah...Doesn't help that his wife overheard.

Wait, so you actually did that? Did you out him by that, as well? That'd be priceless, man.

Unfortunately no

Funny a fucker as I am, I don't think I could do that to someone. Well not without cuase anyways.

 

[DazBurger]

"HEY! Auntie Selma! You owe me money!"

 

[RIOgreatescapist]

Lie on the floor and start screaming "look i'm dying i'm dyiiiiiing"

 

[micky]

can i have his watch? what hes not using it!

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Never say what I said during a funeral over a particularly attractive corpse: "One thing I like about the dead: they can't say no."

 

[Ironic Pirate]

"Wait, shit, this body is not properly disposed of! You have to turn burn it, or Grandpop here will start prowling around for brains while Uncle Abe is telling that one fishing story, and I don't think any of us have a chainsaw to deal with him then!"

 

[Woodsey]

Don't dick-slap the coffin. Apparently people find that insensitive.

Loving that funeral pun by the way!

 

[hurfdurp]

If you're forced to sign hymns for some reason, don't try to freestyle them.

 

[ajemas]

To quote Demitri Martin: "I apologize" is the same as "I'm sorry". Unless you're at a funeral.

 

[Legendary Alucard]

Do not play ACDC's Highway to Hell.

Wow.. AC/DC - Highway to hell is one of the most Commen songs on Funerals....
If i die.. There is gonne be AC/DC and Ozzy Osbourn (Crazy Train)

I had to go to the Funeral of my old boss... (I never seen the guy but we all had to go) the day for the Funeral me and some buddies whent out to grab a drink.. so i was standing with a hangover and said a bit to loud to my friend "I'm starving"...

 

[Sinspiration]

"Wow! You're all acting like he died!"

... Wait are you saying thats what you dont say? Or is there something else going on im missing?
EDIT: I get it lol. Just had a blond moment.

I was worried for a second there xP

 

[RobCoxxy]

"Ding, dong, the ***** is dead"

"Finally"

"Thank fuck"

"Can anyone here honestly say they'll miss him?"

I have so many of these!

 

[Eumersian]

"Thank you Cleveland!"

Or wherever you are. Never yell that at a funeral.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

God, these are fucking awful. xD

 

[Dags90]

Take pictures of the deceased. It's generally taboo to take pictures of the deceased and doing it in front of the family is usually a major social faux pas. My father did it once at his best friend's funeral and I remember how horrified I was when he did it because of the breach of social conduct.

 

[Glaive_21842]

Funeral jokes start at 1:26

 

[Palademon]

Ask xkcd. It knows.

 

[Catalyst6]

Never show up drunk........

Yeah, you only get drunk at the funeral...

OT: I need his ears to complete my quest...

You know what they say, there's no party like a wake.

OT: To the widow, "So... single now, eh"?

 

[spartan1077]

sing this- although I sang it at my Great Grandma's funeral when I was younger but I don't take death to be a bad thing anyways.