DO NOT pop out of a giant stripper cake wearing nothing but nipple tassles and a tiara. Especially at your OWN funeral. That shit gets awkward very fast. Trust me.
Things you dont say or do at a funeral
- Thread starter ForensicYOYO
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I guess showing up at your own funeral would get pretty awkward. Although some humor could be found if you went up to the corspe and said: "Oh so that's where my clone got to!" or something similar.
I really hate this unwritten rule, its not like the dead really cares. I say that if you laugh at a funeral it probably means you were remembering fun times.Nouw said:
I say that at my funeral everyone gets a turn at the microphone to either tell a story or joke about me. Laughter is encouraged and there will be an open bar, dance floor, and after party. (Afterlife rules permitting I will haunt the party)
Now that thats over
OT: Can I have his Tux before they nail this thing shut?
This is more of a 'rule' that is acceptable. Hell I'd want to laugh but it would be disrespecting the people who are sad because of their death. A real mood-killer and it'd be being a dick if you laughed at let's say you're friend's grandmother's death. Sure I'd love to have a Funeral that's happy and cheery but it's what acceptable by other people.Cpu46 said:
Things you shouldn't say if you're a funeral director. Imagine a funeral director talking loudly on a cellphone at the service.
"What do you mean you cremated the wrong body? Well, who's body is in there?"
"Ah, the old body in the passenger seat trick. Gets me in the carpool lane every time. Oh, crap, did I leave her in there? Shit!"
"Well, my dog had to eat something! We're in a recession, you guys!"
"No, it's cool. We'll dig her up in a week and recycle the coffin. Penny saved, penny earned, am I right?"
"What? No, he's not a real priest. I just put my cousin in a black shirt. Everyone's buying it. Way cheaper."
"Damn it, I told you not to let the kids play with the embalming fluid! God, they've made a mess of her in there. It's like looking at week old spaghetti and meatballs..."
"Yeah, I'm hungover. No, it's alright; I threw up in the urn. I don't think anybody noticed. Heh, just wait til the poor sod puts his hand in there to scatter the ashes."
"I lost the ashes. Yeah, I dropped the urn, and they just spilled everywhere. It's cool, though, I just emptied my vacuum cleaner in a new urn. Same diff, right?"
"What do you mean I'm being investigated? Damn it, that necrophilia charge was overturned! They didn't have any evidence against me!"
"What do you mean you cremated the wrong body? Well, who's body is in there?"
"Ah, the old body in the passenger seat trick. Gets me in the carpool lane every time. Oh, crap, did I leave her in there? Shit!"
"Well, my dog had to eat something! We're in a recession, you guys!"
"No, it's cool. We'll dig her up in a week and recycle the coffin. Penny saved, penny earned, am I right?"
"What? No, he's not a real priest. I just put my cousin in a black shirt. Everyone's buying it. Way cheaper."
"Damn it, I told you not to let the kids play with the embalming fluid! God, they've made a mess of her in there. It's like looking at week old spaghetti and meatballs..."
"Yeah, I'm hungover. No, it's alright; I threw up in the urn. I don't think anybody noticed. Heh, just wait til the poor sod puts his hand in there to scatter the ashes."
"I lost the ashes. Yeah, I dropped the urn, and they just spilled everywhere. It's cool, though, I just emptied my vacuum cleaner in a new urn. Same diff, right?"
"What do you mean I'm being investigated? Damn it, that necrophilia charge was overturned! They didn't have any evidence against me!"
it sounds as if you may have said this.....Quantum Roberts said:
here are some of my ideas of what not to say:
Wow this guy is really convincing!
can i loot him? he's supposed to have an item for a quest...
guess he had a dinner to DIE for right?
hey why is this guy sleeping at his funeral?
... necrophilia anyone?
OT:
get drunk at the reception, steal the body and a microphone, then stand in front of everyone arm around the body and give a toast like you're at a wedding and the body's the groom
OT:
get drunk at the reception, steal the body and a microphone, then stand in front of everyone arm around the body and give a toast like you're at a wedding and the body's the groom
Well...No. It didn't happen. Or at least I hope not I was pretty plastered.Naheal said:Was it followed by crying/stating that they didn't know that about their husband?Quantum Roberts said:Yeah...Doesn't help that his wife overheard.ForensicYOYO said:
