Things you dont say or do at a funeral

[Substance-E]

Definitely DO NOT throw rice on the deceased and yell "Maggots, MAGGOTS!!!"

 

[Naheal]

Never admit to having slept with the deceased...or that they were awesome in bed.

It doesn't end well.

No. No it does not

Yeah...Doesn't help that his wife overheard.

Was it followed by crying/stating that they didn't know that about their husband?

Well...No. It didn't happen. Or at least I hope not I was pretty plastered.

Would've been both highly inappropriate and highly amusing.

 

[Romblen]

Never go to a funeral looking for a date, especially if you're the widow/er.

"I need an organ donor, does anyone know where I can find one?"

 

[DesiPrinceX09]

Funerals tend to last a long time so it's never a good idea to say:

"Why does this have to take so long!? He/she didn't take this long to die!" (anyone get the reference?)

 

[ForensicYOYO]

If ur a Pall-bearer and someone ask how ur feeling just say, Ok accept I have to carry alot of dead weight. LOL *ZING*

 

[AdmiralMemo]

Never admit to having slept with the deceased...or that they were awesome in bed.

It doesn't end well.

Especially if you imply it was after they died. :-D

 

[Moontouched-Moogle]

"I see dead people."

That can only end badly.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Do not laugh at the body. Unless they were a clown...then it's OK.

 

[Requx]

Dont put a sandwich in the caskette.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

The corpse is a spy.

Dead Ringer!

 

[fullbleed]

Don't do this

Or this

 

[Kuchinawa212]

"Man this party is deeeeeaaaaaddddd. Oh wait it is"

 

[badgersprite]

"ELAINE! ELAINE! EL--Oh, wait, sorry. Wrong church."

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Don't remove the body when no one's looking and most certainly don't crawl into the casket after you've removed the body and shut it then proceed to bang on the lid screaming, "I'm alive, this was a mistake!"

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Also, never run screaming through the funeral screaming, "Zombies! They're everywhere!"

 

[Lt_Bromhead]

Don't do this

Or this

Dammit... Ninja'd! :/

 

[JWRosser]

He touched me, by the way.

 

[Biosophilogical]

4. Do not sing "Still Alive".

I don't think the worst bit would be the end, I think it would be the start. I actually have a feeling you wouldn't make it to the end of the song ... not in one piece anyway.

OTo a 'One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest' and insist that the body is actually a robotic fake. After that you can choose your own direction:
1. Ram a manget down the corpse's throat in an attempt to 'destroy the microchips'
2. Start tearing off clothes looking for the power input.
3. Pull out an EMP gun, climb onto the coffin and start shooting it's face desperately.
4. Steal the coffin and body, take it to an airport and insist on trying to get it through the metal detector to make sure it isn't a robot.

 

[ae86gamer]

Never forget the dead persons name. People will get really angry.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

Anything with nudity. Nudity is a no-no.