Things you wish movies would stop doing

[Private Custard]

Cars without 800+ horsepower CANNOT keep up with bikes in a straight line. Power/weight ratios make it fucking impossible.......Hollywood, stop this shit!

Spoiler: what happens when an ordinary (not too shabby) car decides to try and live with a bike......my bike!

Oh, and while I remember. Driver, may I ask just how many fucking gears your car has?

 

[101flyboy]

Add some actual suspense to action movies instead of making them so completely predictable they are unwatchable.

 

[Infinatex]

Featuring Nicholas Cage?

:O

I'm going to have to say over promoting bad movies to make people go see them! Not that I fall for that old trap, but many people do.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

you got this from cracked

Got what from Cracked? They have mentioned the 'gratuitous cocking' and 'bullets explode everything' in an article called "Gun Myths that people believe are true", yes, but I am referring to things that irk me/make no sense in movies in general- not just gun related goofs.

And for the record I knew about both gun myths before even reading the article. Sadly though I did think silencers would actually work..turns out it doesn't :/

I think you're forgetting the fact that they have a gun. I imagine if you turned around right now and somebody was standing there with a gun and they begin to threaten you, you would probably listen to what they have to say. And if you don't and they cock the gun to make their point, the knowledge that the gun wasn't prepared before does absolutely nothing for you at that point.

Well firstly, I never forget; especially if someone has a gun to my head. You are right though - that from person to person the reaction to being threatened by a man with a gun can differ, BUT, as said by someone else in this thread the people portrayed in these kinds of movies who find themselves in such life-threatening situations, are made out to be bad-ass maternal coitus indulging machines of death and often eat chaos for breakfast. These are no ordinary people, they are usually trained to feck shit up, so much so that at the end of the day shit looks like origami. My point is that if you threaten these kind of people (the generic action mold character in, oh, 99.99% of action movies) then you'll find that they will be paying very little attention to what the person with the gun is saying and more on the different ways to dislocate your distal humerus and insert it firmly in your gluteus maximus. Ergo the whole act of taunting the deceptively pacified protagonist with a lengthy speech to be puncutated by the cocking of the gun..is in the end..pointless. And frankly, suicidal or Hollywood would have you believe.

Additionally, as was mentioned before an article from Cracked also points to the futility in scenes where the gun is cocked in the last second for dramatic effect. The reason? Certain guns, such as the Beretta 92F are designed "so that pulling the trigger also cocks the hammer for you, to save you the extra step and the extra two seconds during which you could get shot". As well as "it's made so that it leaves the hammer cocked back in between shots (the reason is it makes the trigger a little easier to pull)". So that leads one to believe that cocking a gun that was fired seconds before..just de-cocks it. Fantastic news, if you were in the firing line.

Personally I have never witnessed somebody getting their head bashed over, and nor have I done any research on the plausibility of it, but if something as petty as that can ruin your moviegoing experience, then you have my pity. Because if that bothers you, it means one of two things: either you don't care about enjoying the movie and are and are looking for any possible stretch of reality (because everything in every action movie MUST be 100% accurate), or you are just incapable of analyzing something as the sum of its parts.

And to answer your last question about things in movies irking me...I can't really think of any right now. I guess one, if it counts, would be major, MAJOR actors who...well, still get roles. See, since Tom Cruise is such a household name nowadays, I can't see one of his movies and think of him as whatever character he is trying to play. I think of him as Tom Cruise. His public life is so overbearing that I avoid films with him in it just because I know I'll never get taken in.

First things first, don't feel pity for me. People often start a counter-argument with that phrase so much so that it's beginning to loose it's meaning. Give pity to things that matter. This, this doesn't matter!

As for your argument:

I am glad that you haven't seen someone getting their head bashed over - being hit on the head can have fatal consequences at times but there is never a 100% certainty that you'll knock someone uncoincious. It is entirely possible that you'll either kill them, cause irreparable brain damage, or they'll walk away with a concussion while having other unpleasant symptoms gnaw at them till they get to a hospital. Even if the impact falls in the 'Goldilocks zone' where you can render a person unconscious there is no guarantee how long they will be incapacitated - it could be 5 minutes to 5 days.

Unfortunately this silly trope is portrayed quite often as an instant non-lethal alternative of taking care of someone in almost every genre of movies. I swear even Mr. Bean has knocked people unconscious.

The source of my irritation is not that I can't suspend my disbelief/turn part of my brain off. No, what annoys me is the cavalier attitude in which Hollywood depicts this trope. The implication here is that when someone wants someone "alive" or "taken out quietly for further interrogation" they resort to the trusty 'whack to the back of the head' routine..somehow as if we have an off-switch that can be be hit with precision all the fecking time, where there is no ill effects other than a headache and confusion. That they have the nerve to depict such a fatal act as harmless is the main sore point for me.

That's not how it works! Knocking someone unconscious with the assumption that it's safe (or a safer alternative) is not only wrong but what kind of message are you sending to the audience? It's dangerous and should not be attempted attempted under any circumstance! I wouldn't be upset with this trope at all if it didn't try to disguise itself as being a "non-lethal" take down option but that's exactly what they portray it as..all the bloody time.

The point if this is a petty complaint is a matter of opinion. Finding that the inclusion of polyester blend clothing in a period piece about the Civil War can ruin someone's movie experience to me is petty but perhaps not to you or someone who is passionate about said things. Finding that movies keep masquerading a potentially lethal tactic as a child's play maneuver somehow just irks me. I don't expect you to understand it nor do I need pity from the people who can't. I don't need movies to be 100% accurate, like I said in the OP I can suspend my disbelief if I chose to. However, movies in my book are not going to get away with trying to insult commonsense all the time. I can only find forgiveness in my heart so many times. Sure the sum is greater than all it's parts and I can appreciate that. However, must you always insult the intellect of your audience to do that? Especially if you are paying money to have your intelligence insulted?

 

[MrJKapowey]

Hmm, went to see an advance showing Quality test of a movie due to come out next year. It was so cliched I wanted to kill the main characters. Heres a few:

Spoiler

Little 'catholic-good-girl' who believes that murder is wrong and swore never to kill anyone; takes an AK74 (or something like that) and from the hip at around 10-20 meters opens fire with around 25-29 rounds (had a full magazine but one shot was fired at a helicopters searchlight). All of the heavily body armoured 'Coalition' (basically a stand in name for N. Korea - In one scene there was a badly painted over N.K. flag) troopers are killed in slow mo, jerking excessively from the impact and then fall ing dead.

Yes, thats right, a young (15) not especially outdoorsey girl picked up a full auto assault rifle, telekinetically and soundlessly turned the safety off (if the producers even remembered to put that in), from the hip fired all X number of rounds with unerring accuracy at 10-12 heavily armoured soldiers. All killed, most with head shots.

Next the girl is seen in one small sec long camera flash, dropping her gun and crying to show her being traumatised at this. Thats the only time we see that. There is also a similar 2 sec humanisation of the enemy, they go back to being faceless monsters minutes later.


Next up, We'll destroy this one bridge and CRIPPLE the enemy in the region. NO, IT WON'T!!! If they are organsied and well equiped, as all current evidence shows, then the gently sloping banks of the river would make for a great pontoon bridge location. There, epic final battle achieves moot!


Next is, 'we'll search where the hero is hiding and then go home...' two armoured cars and ten to fifteen soldiers are trundling down a street looking for three of the main chars. They pull up outside the house the chars are hiding in, not looking at ANY OTHER.


'We've been thinking small and sneaky, what if we go so big that it don't matter who sees us?'

This is to get an injured person out. Unfortunately this doesn't work when your country is under the iron grip of a heavily armed modern day foriegn power! They take a dump truck and are then chased by two FAVs (similar to the type used to destroy Scud trucks in the first Gulf War). No bullets hit them with any effect and they destroy the two cars and escape. Yay! *sarcasm*. Where were the thirty or so Hinds and Little Birds (I Know, strange) we saw earlier?

Also, for the final (questionably) epic scene they seem to have found a massive cache of RPGs, AKs, grenades and a machete. Where from?

Finally is the lack of viewed international response. They get a radio and listen to what seems to be BBC World News where they hear that:

'The coalition only wishes to redistribute 'Xs' resources to ensure an era of peace descends upon the region'. No 'The UN condemns the actions' I mean what the F*ck is the rest of the world doing?

Sorry if I've ruined the story for anyone but I had to get that off my chest.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

I'm going to bed soon so I'm going to keep my response brief. Personally, I don't feel insulted at all whenever movies stretch reality a bit to fit their needs. I DO feel insulted, however, when they have to meander around and pull things out of their asses to explain their leaps in logic. It's as though they don't think I have the ability to use my imagination or inference.

It's when the pacing gets screwed up because they're trying to pander to "reality" that bothers me. Sure, in more dramatic or survival situations that "difficult" reality can enhance the moment, but sometimes action scenes flow much more smoothly if they just get right down to business. I mean, would Back to the Future have been any better if they took out all of the head-bashing that went on there and found ways for all of those characters to have tranquilizers and chloroform instead? That would have been hard in the old west for the third movie. Or if they had to change the tires every single time they caught on fire after hitting 88? Boy, that would have made for a riveting time.

I understand that addressing real physics can enhance the experience for some people, but I just don't feel it's necessary as long as it makes for a good ride. In the end this is all about our personal tastes, and I would like to thank you for giving me some more to think about the next time I go to the movies Good night.

 

[Saulkar]

Seriously, my two biggest gripes are the lack of intellect of the writers mirrored onto the characters. Just watch the newest Die Hard and you will find out how much they know about computers, the internet, and jets.

Adding onto this, they consistently missrepresent almost every known subculture. Goths, emos, furries, cos players, metal heads, unusual sexual concepts, nerds, etc. A narrow list but it is allot broader than I can hope to write. Just read this...----> http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

-snip-

No prob. As a final point though I do need to clarify something because it's easy to misunderstand the point I am trying to make.

I don't find it difficult to be immersed in movies. I can watch Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica and other sci-fi/supernatural/fanatsy shows and not need to have things always obey the laws of thermodynamics, conservation of energy or Newton's laws of motion. It's just that if you are committing to a decent and logical plot, then the least I expect is some subtle polishing to the movie - that extra bit of attention that shows you thought of everything. Wouldn't it be nice that if for once a car falling off a cliff, didn't explode like a Michal Bay movie?

It's the braking of the pacing and immersion of a good/logical story with nonsensical things that get to me. As with your example in Back to the Future - I really would not need to have seen McFly change the wheels of the Delorean all the time, for the sake of realism..because right from the start I know it's an unrealistic premise so I am fine with it. That said, movies that take itself too seriously or want the audience to connect with the plot and then show a barrel explode thanks to a stray bullet kind of dampens my immersion.

That's the crux of my complaint. I can appreciate the coolness factor but I much prefer a movie where the plot and logic is in sync.

 

[Nouw]

I think someone has been on Cracked a bit too much XD.

Anyway, I love it how people cock their guns, as stupid as it is. All the strange and bullshit happenings in movies are fun and I don't want them to be realistic.

 

[Rofl Harris]

Teal and Orange [http://theabyssgazes.blogspot.com/2010/03/teal-and-orange-hollywood-please-stop.html]

Dude WTF! i think that article just ruined the entire film industry for me. now i'll be more conscious of that... like a dead pixel. thanks!
OT: Game movies. why? Marky mark.

Ditto. I walked past a billboard poster yesterday for Tron and immediately noticed the teal and orange, all because of this post. Damn you!

 

[Vivace-Vivian]

Being made from video games.

 

[MrMullet]

3D, 3D, 3D! I don't think they thought about short-/far-sighted people when they designed 3D glasses. This pisses me off every time I go to the movies. "Hey! You want to see the new Resident Evil movie? TOO BAD, Put on the glasses and look like a complete fucktard chump!"

 

[Red_Serpent]

Things I wish movies(people) would stop doing are...

- Filling background scenes with american flags and have the camera focus in on them.
- Writing a script for a videogame-licensed movie that has nothing to do with the actual videogame.
- Remakes of great movies/series from the past. Leave things alone for crying out loud.
- Rush-editing with nearly no time for character development.
- Dumbing stuff down so far my dog can understand the movie...and feel insulted.
- Writing a love plot in every movie.
- Casting caucasian people for non-caucasian roles.
- Hiring photo-models instead of actresses. Looking "pretty" isn't acting.

I guess I could keep going but I'm sure its all been said before.

EDIT: - 3D indeed! Getting a headache is not my idea of fun!

 

[MrMullet]

Let the good guys lose for once....

I think you should watch the film Inside Man.

Or basically any heist movie really. It's pretty easy to forget that no matter what their intentions are, the "heroes" are still criminals.

 

[Arsen]

- The fight scenes with swords are basically dance scenes involving swords.
- Sean Bean always playing a guy who dies. SOMEONE GIVE THE MAN A BREAK. HE PLAYED ALEC TREVELYAN AND BOROMIR!
- A guy with a pistol being able to shoot guys with more efficiency despite the fact that they have better guns than him.
- Two pistols. It's so damned impossible to accurately hit someone.
- Making up horrible excuses to have a fight scene: Like the movie Inception. So...the only way the mind defends itself is by sending physical constructs of guards after the individual who breaks into their head? No nightmares, no illogical memories mixed with strange dreams? Just...armed guards for the sake of a Matrix style fight scene? Plausibility is dead.

 

[[Gavo]]

Stop making so many sequels...

This. No one gives a damn about, say Pirates of the Caribbean 4. The first was good, the second was okay, the third was shit.

 

[Spookimitsu]

1.) White girls doing karate
2.) People with katana who aren't in fuedal japan. This even goes for the bastardized hollywood shinobigatana. Have some of those bastards fight with hook swords, the yari, the naginata, butterfly swords, gusari-kama, escrima, blah blah blah. there are tons of other eastern weapons to choose from. Or you can let your actors use a f*cking gladius or a battle-axe for a change. How bad-ass would that be? Even in HIGHLANDER not everyone used a tachi. The Kurgen's weapon was bad-ass.
3.) Slo-motion shots of the protagonist walking looking "cool" (usually and explosion behind said protagonist, or henchmen or something else)
4.) Exposition. Leave some stuff a mystery for crying out loud
5.) Slo-mo gunshots (slo-mo in general. can we get more inventive shots? Chill out on the pull-back, dolly-in too.)
6.) John-Woo inspired double pistol fisted action shots. I loved Hard Boiled too, but I am seeing just a little too much of this. Time for originality
7.) Taking video-games and comics I have loved and turning them into big-budgeted poopfests that I can't seem to forget (not all of them, I tend to generally like the Resident Evils and Batmans)
8.) WIRE WORK - omg incorrectly used wire work kills action shots for me.
9.) Stop doing Dance movies. Thats why they have videos.
10.) Stop avoiding little-known actors for big movies, Give a chance, and hey, you may just make bunch of new superstars.
11.) Stop making the "SUSPENSE" genre synonymous with supposed sexual tensions of the lead actors. There are other reasons for suspense.
12.) If the movie doesnt need Dialogue, DONT PUT IN ALOT OF DIALOGUE. Nothing ruins a good show like actors who wont stfu.
13.) For pete's sake, stop letting the SCORE of the movie give away the plot. If It's Scary, make it scary. Dont just TRY to make it scary but put in the scary music. Or if it's romantic, MAKE it romantic. Same applies for moments of high drama and tension. Enough with the cheesy scores.

ok thanks for letting me rant... back to work

 

[New Vegas Samurai]

Brilliant Ideas on the Subject matter, sadly, I have to refer to another site which is just as funny

http://www.cracked.com/article_18664_5-annoying-trends-that-make-every-movie-look-same.html

 

[sgwee]

or if you do, choose good ones. like pixar, whats up with an open season two, and a monsters inc 2, wheres my Incredibles two!

Incredibles was Dreamworks, I believe.

OT:The painfully awkward, shoehorned romance.

I still would like an incredibles two

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

Going way back to the beginning of the thread, you can knock someone out by hitting them in the back of the head. Rattling the brain stem is what knocks you out, usually. We learn this in Jiu Jitsu, where one of the primary strikes that keeps showing up as a finisher is a palm blow to the base of the skull. It shakes up the brain stem and should theoretically, if you did it right, send them right to the ground. But it a targeted thing.

I hate the art style that goes into 3d animated movies. No matter what their plot, movies like The Incredibles and Despicable Me make the art geek in me cry a river. It looks so fake! At least 2d animation looked like art. This stuff just looks like some kid playing around in Maya. It's the rendering...it looks plastic and wrong.

The worst thing animators did was get rid of 2d animation like the kind in Old Disney. At least Miyazaki still hand-animates beautifully. Take me back to the 1990s!

I also don't like Tim Burton's art style.