Things you wish movies would stop doing
- Thread starter Kaboose the Moose
- Start date
Recommended Videos
You want all that stuff from action movies though, it's suspension of disbelief.
I thought you were going to say something more along the lines of GOD DAMN EXPOSITION - let the audience think, notice stuff for themselves rather than spoon-feed everything to them from the script, the dialogue.
Take Monsters for example.
Whatshername's married. We find this out from a phonecall to her father at the start, where she just so happens to mention to him, audibly "Yes, I know he's my fiancée" so we go "OH, SHE'S GETTING MARRIED?" - then, less than three minutes later, when Photographer-man and whatshername are on the train, he looks at her hand.
Boom.
Ring.
We think "Ah, she's married/engaged".
That's how it should be. We notice these things, not have them forced into our heads like cretins through bloody exposition. Argggh, it pisses me off.
I thought you were going to say something more along the lines of GOD DAMN EXPOSITION - let the audience think, notice stuff for themselves rather than spoon-feed everything to them from the script, the dialogue.
Take Monsters for example.
Whatshername's married. We find this out from a phonecall to her father at the start, where she just so happens to mention to him, audibly "Yes, I know he's my fiancée" so we go "OH, SHE'S GETTING MARRIED?" - then, less than three minutes later, when Photographer-man and whatshername are on the train, he looks at her hand.
Boom.
Ring.
We think "Ah, she's married/engaged".
That's how it should be. We notice these things, not have them forced into our heads like cretins through bloody exposition. Argggh, it pisses me off.
Everyone's extreme lack of AIMING DOWN THE GOD DAMN SIGHTS ON THE GOD DAMN GUN!
They're not decorative, they're there so people can kill other people before the other people kill the people.
GWAAAH!
They're not decorative, they're there so people can kill other people before the other people kill the people.
GWAAAH!
Casting Jennifer Aniston as what is essentially Rachel in everything she's ever done since Friends ended.
Gratuitous swearing to avoid a G rating and bump it up to to PG in otherwise lighthearted family entertainment.
Gratuitous sequels/prequels. Specifically horror franchises with no continuity after maybe the first two.
Having Will Smith in it. (Sorry, I just can't stand the guy... or his kids, but thats beside the point. He does the same two characters in almost every film. He's either the predictable action hero or a bland, down on his luck, everyman.)
Having the artsy/romantic cliche movie get multiple Oscar nominations when the critics and the box office preferred the "L.C.D. action movie"
I.e. The Reader V.S. The Dark Knight
HAVING THE BEST SCENES IN THE TRAILER AND THE REST IS CRAP!
Promoting children's (10 and under) merch for R rated movie!- Watchmen and Pan's Labyrinth and to a lesser extent the Nolan Batman films.
When the trailer uses either O Fortuna and Lux Aeterna. ARRRRRRRGH!
Gratuitous swearing to avoid a G rating and bump it up to to PG in otherwise lighthearted family entertainment.
Gratuitous sequels/prequels. Specifically horror franchises with no continuity after maybe the first two.
Having Will Smith in it. (Sorry, I just can't stand the guy... or his kids, but thats beside the point. He does the same two characters in almost every film. He's either the predictable action hero or a bland, down on his luck, everyman.)
Having the artsy/romantic cliche movie get multiple Oscar nominations when the critics and the box office preferred the "L.C.D. action movie"
I.e. The Reader V.S. The Dark Knight
HAVING THE BEST SCENES IN THE TRAILER AND THE REST IS CRAP!
Promoting children's (10 and under) merch for R rated movie!- Watchmen and Pan's Labyrinth and to a lesser extent the Nolan Batman films.
When the trailer uses either O Fortuna and Lux Aeterna. ARRRRRRRGH!
I'm tired of four major things I keep seeing especially in modern movies.
1. Horror movies that aren't scary but are instead nothing but torture porn. Gross does not equal scary. What happened to messing with the viewer in ways other than gore?
2. Clueless villains. Give me a truly competent villain for once. Someone who will trash the hero fairly quickly and the movie has to focus on the remaining actors instead.
3. The same actors showing up in everything. Seriously give someone new a chance and stop acting like only the popular people are in the movie. In fact more ordinary looking actors would help immerse me in the movie world much better.
4. Stop the cgi barrage. Every time I see a movie nowadays it's cgi this and cgi that. What happened to other special effects? You know like the amazing animatronics and sets of old? All this cgi bull is just going to age modern movies faster.
1. Horror movies that aren't scary but are instead nothing but torture porn. Gross does not equal scary. What happened to messing with the viewer in ways other than gore?
2. Clueless villains. Give me a truly competent villain for once. Someone who will trash the hero fairly quickly and the movie has to focus on the remaining actors instead.
3. The same actors showing up in everything. Seriously give someone new a chance and stop acting like only the popular people are in the movie. In fact more ordinary looking actors would help immerse me in the movie world much better.
4. Stop the cgi barrage. Every time I see a movie nowadays it's cgi this and cgi that. What happened to other special effects? You know like the amazing animatronics and sets of old? All this cgi bull is just going to age modern movies faster.
1) Stop being in 3D.
2) Stop forcing romance.
3) Stop being overly simplistic. Things in life are never as simple as "Good guy vs. Bad guy."
2) Stop forcing romance.
3) Stop being overly simplistic. Things in life are never as simple as "Good guy vs. Bad guy."
Well, seeing as Arnie is a wrinkled old politician now the 80's action hero ideals are dead, it's best for them to just cut their losses and move on.Erecting a Sentry said:
Especially as in Watchmen the sex scene that matters is the one at the END OF THE BASTARD BOOK. (IE: A re-affirmation of humanity through physical and emotional closeness to another human being.)Marowit said:
A film without a romantic sub-plot would be nice. How about a film where a male and a female spend a lot of time together and end up close friends? That'd be nice.
#1 Beeping computers.
Beeping means it's broken.
#2 Scrolling code.
Any programmer would have gone insane or killed himself if the code constantly scrolled.
#3 Exploding consoles.
If a computer blew up the moment something happens, I'd have serious doubts about their safety regulations.
Also, I don't think computers needs explosives to function.
Beeping means it's broken.
#2 Scrolling code.
Any programmer would have gone insane or killed himself if the code constantly scrolled.
#3 Exploding consoles.
If a computer blew up the moment something happens, I'd have serious doubts about their safety regulations.
Also, I don't think computers needs explosives to function.
Stop using so much CGI- bring back models and stunts, combined with minimal CGI for the things you literally cannot do without professional stuntmen, model makers and pyrotechnics
Remakes, 20 year overdue sequals and games>movie.
These are the 3 main flaws in cinema today and hollywood is responsible for all of them.
Also anything produced by anyone or by anyone who knows anyone responsible for Scary Movie.
Bruce Campbell told me it was our fault that these're so popular, because we're the fools paying to see them. This makes me feel bad.
Oh also, not directly within the movies but when something is remade and they re-release the original at full price just so it can have a little part on the cover mentioning the new one... seriously...
How many people do you reckon bought Inglorious Bastards thinking it was Inglorious Basterds without thinking "wait a minute... it's still in cinemas..."
These are the 3 main flaws in cinema today and hollywood is responsible for all of them.
Also anything produced by anyone or by anyone who knows anyone responsible for Scary Movie.
Bruce Campbell told me it was our fault that these're so popular, because we're the fools paying to see them. This makes me feel bad.
Oh also, not directly within the movies but when something is remade and they re-release the original at full price just so it can have a little part on the cover mentioning the new one... seriously...
How many people do you reckon bought Inglorious Bastards thinking it was Inglorious Basterds without thinking "wait a minute... it's still in cinemas..."
Did you get all those from cracked.com, OP? It's okay though, because I got mine from there too!
http://www.cracked.com/article_18576_5-ridiculous-gun-myths-everyone-believes-thanks-to-movies.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18576_5-ridiculous-gun-myths-everyone-believes-thanks-to-movies.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html
My List:
-Two people fighting for a gun. The camera cuts to their faces as we hear a gunshot. We're supposed to think "Oh, no! Is our hero dead!!!". But no, it's always either the hero or the other hero who just walked in the room.
-The villain's big speech about his plan.
-The villain's acknowledgment of how cliche the big speech is, but then he goes into the speech anyway.
-Grunts with guns who can't hit anything. Stormtrooper Syndrome, I guess it would be called.
-Hero is shot in his heart. Only he wasn't shot, because his badge/memento of some sort stopped the bullet.
-The bomb ticks down to a second, or just a few seconds before it is disarmed.
Really, I hate 99% of all action movies because almost everything has been done to death. Exceptions are ones where the action actually takes skill (anything with Tony Jaa), ones that build up the characters enough so that I care about their story and whether they pull through, and ones that make the action so brilliantly over the top that you have to love it (Hot Fuzz)
-Two people fighting for a gun. The camera cuts to their faces as we hear a gunshot. We're supposed to think "Oh, no! Is our hero dead!!!". But no, it's always either the hero or the other hero who just walked in the room.
-The villain's big speech about his plan.
-The villain's acknowledgment of how cliche the big speech is, but then he goes into the speech anyway.
-Grunts with guns who can't hit anything. Stormtrooper Syndrome, I guess it would be called.
-Hero is shot in his heart. Only he wasn't shot, because his badge/memento of some sort stopped the bullet.
-The bomb ticks down to a second, or just a few seconds before it is disarmed.
Really, I hate 99% of all action movies because almost everything has been done to death. Exceptions are ones where the action actually takes skill (anything with Tony Jaa), ones that build up the characters enough so that I care about their story and whether they pull through, and ones that make the action so brilliantly over the top that you have to love it (Hot Fuzz)
How ignorant that statement is... nothing about old movies makes them inherently good and nothing about new movies makes them inherently bad. It's like saying "all music is terrible."Robot Overlord said:
Nice to see that a lot of people read Cracked here... I'll say that I wish movies stopped completely explaining things. Not like in Halloween where it was basically just "Michael Myers kills people for no reason," but like in Manhattan where there were constant literary references and they didn't dwell on any of them. That's a nice contrast to Easy A where there were references to John Hughes movies and the Scarlett Letter and during the references they showed the clips they were referring to.
*Uncool kid gets thrown into world of coolness and inspire the cool people (the cool people always seem cheesy and generic)
*"Urban Kidz + White Teacher= success!"
*I'm *insert an age women THINK is old* and am not married. Boohoo.
*Movies where sidekicks are pretty useless. (They really try to make us think Ron and Hermoine matter)
*"Strong lead females" (They ALWAYS come off as b****y and don't get happy 'til they're laid)
*Anything w/ multiple children+food fights+first loves+someone w/ a weird pet+revenge on adults)
*Films where aforementioned "Strong Female" is upset that male lead didn't tell her he was *insert something really stupid to get upset about*
*Special law forces movie: "After that stunt you pulled you *blah, blah, blah* The next time something like this happens, your *ss is off the force!"
*FILMS BASED ON VIDEO GAMES!!!! >:O
*"Urban Kidz + White Teacher= success!"
*I'm *insert an age women THINK is old* and am not married. Boohoo.
*Movies where sidekicks are pretty useless. (They really try to make us think Ron and Hermoine matter
)*"Strong lead females" (They ALWAYS come off as b****y and don't get happy 'til they're laid)
*Anything w/ multiple children+food fights+first loves+someone w/ a weird pet+revenge on adults)
*Films where aforementioned "Strong Female" is upset that male lead didn't tell her he was *insert something really stupid to get upset about*
*Special law forces movie: "After that stunt you pulled you *blah, blah, blah* The next time something like this happens, your *ss is off the force!"
*FILMS BASED ON VIDEO GAMES!!!! >:O
Blood on the lens.
Okay, when it's, say, Quentin Tarentino, and there is blood spurting everywhere to comical effect, and it gets that much more ridiculous when it breaks the fourth wall and has blood on the lens, it works. It's tongue in cheek. That's fine. Now, lets bring this into a totally serious war drama. Very serious, very dark. I'm reflecting on what being in this situation would actually be like. The movie is very real. It's beyond moving pictures, it's into just experiencing the story. A guy gets shot with an MG, and blood spatters on the lens. I blink. I think to my self, "Oh yes. There is a camera. Because this is just a movie. Those are actors. This didn't actually happen. This is simulating real events, but otherwise, it's all fake. Yawn". Very few things break suspension of disbelief more, while simultaneously adding nothing whatsoever.
Okay, when it's, say, Quentin Tarentino, and there is blood spurting everywhere to comical effect, and it gets that much more ridiculous when it breaks the fourth wall and has blood on the lens, it works. It's tongue in cheek. That's fine. Now, lets bring this into a totally serious war drama. Very serious, very dark. I'm reflecting on what being in this situation would actually be like. The movie is very real. It's beyond moving pictures, it's into just experiencing the story. A guy gets shot with an MG, and blood spatters on the lens. I blink. I think to my self, "Oh yes. There is a camera. Because this is just a movie. Those are actors. This didn't actually happen. This is simulating real events, but otherwise, it's all fake. Yawn". Very few things break suspension of disbelief more, while simultaneously adding nothing whatsoever.
When a someone makes a movie, and its ending is pretty closed (ie loose ends are all tied up). Then someone comes along and undoes what the first movie did for the whole point of making a sequel (its not a movie, but the only one i can think of that did this is Force Unleashed II)
That and just about everything stated in this article --> http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html
Especially the part about explosions
That and just about everything stated in this article --> http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html
Especially the part about explosions