Tin foil hat time!

[Souplex]

There have been a lot of hokey conspiracies over the years, but there are so many potential ones that go unused. This thread is for us to come up with our own wacky conspiracies.
I'll start:

The moon landing was faked in a studio on the moon.

Nixon assassinated Kennedy to get rid of his competition for the election so he could start the hippie movement that will destroy America.

Soylent Green is people, but only the people who nobody liked.

You socks are just clinging to the wall of the dryer.

PETA's true goal is to make animal rights look stupid to advance their true goal of Carnivorism.

Tetris was an incomplete Soviet Superweapon designed to cripple America's economy through addiction. The remnants of the project were obtained by the radical terrorist cell "PopCap".

 

[Irridium]

Area 51 - aliens. Also spawned a decent shooter on last-gen consoles.

 

[Berethond]

The entire population of L.A. are androids, and the government has been stockpiling the "water" they use in event of a nuclear strike.

 

[My name is Fiction]

"Are US government has a 5th branch of the military known as Black Water PMCs. They are leaded by a crazy angelical leader and are responsible for 10000 civilian deaths in Iraq and Iran.
Well I guess its not a conspiracy theory if its true, well at least I tried!"
*Polishes Tin Foil Hat*

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

Barack Obama is actually the re-incarnation of Bob the Builder.

Can we be president? YES WE CAN!

 

[Vigormortis]

Here's a doozy of a conspiracy for ya:

Most of the worlds governments are run by corrupt morons who attained their positions of power by spending millions of dollars running campaigns to fool the general populace into voting for them. They make outlandish promises to convince the average person that they're really here to help us. But, when they achieve their position, they do nothing but help themselves and their special interest groups. Leaving the masses in a sh*t hole of a world.


Oh wait....

 

[oppp7]

Which will you choose?

-Conspiracy theories are fucking stupid...
-The dinosaurs put their bones underground to trick us into thinking they exist.
-JFK was a time traveler who shot himself.
-I don't believe in conspiracies. :/

Damn, so many good choices! I guess orange?

[sub]Wait, why do blue and red say the same thing?[/sub]

 

[strum4h]

I think hippie culture was defined at an intersection in San Fransisco called Haight-Ashbury.

 

[hittite]

Video games actually are controlling our minds. Certain individuals in the gaming industry got tired of how lame the real world is and decided to force gamers to make it more awesome. And that's where the Escapist comes from. Also aliens.

 

[ReverendJ]

Tetris was an incomplete Soviet Superweapon designed to cripple America's economy through addiction.

I actually believed this one for awhile.

I have one for you, but I'm actually afraid it might be real and don't want to get caught talking about it. Sorry.

 

[Souplex]

Aliens have known aboot us for some time, but think we smell funny and as such have avoided contact.

 

[SturmDolch]

Russ Pitts is secretly every staff member on the Escapist. He has multiple accounts with which he posts articles. That's also why many videos only have animation, as Russ Pitts is a master of accents. He also has incredibly realistic finger puppets that he uses to make LRR, ENN, and other live action shows. Perhaps too realistic...

Spoiler: Here is a shadowy photograph of this elusive man

Zombies are making zombie movies so we think we know what to expect, but when they really come to eat our brains....BAM! Zombies can fly.

I usually find zombie jokes overused, but that made me rofl my a-o.

 

[Bravo 21]

Which will you choose?
-JFK was a time traveler who shot himself.

just out of curiosity are you a fan of Red Dwarf?

the "Red Menace" didn't die with Soviet Russia, it just is hiding in the moon base built by Nazi Germany while they complete their Death Star and rain down orbital death in their resurgence

 

[oppp7]

Which will you choose?
-JFK was a time traveler who shot himself.

just out of curiosity are you a fan of Red Dwarf?

the "Red Menace" didn't die with Soviet Russia, it just is hiding in the moon base built by Nazi Germany while they complete their Death Star and rain down orbital death in their resurgence

No. Did I think of something from it?

 

[Souplex]

All the worlds governments keep North Korea around because it makes them look sane by comparison.

 

[loc978]

I keep thinking up theories, but they're all pretty much true... this is one area I disagree vehemently with Bob... follow the technical data and the money, and you'll see the few conspiracies that actually pan out...

'course, all of this requires a technical education...

wait, I might have one...
Google advertising is just a pyramid scheme set up by mole people working for the...

okay, nevermind... I got nothin' but random.

 

[khaimera]

The man is real.

I've seen him and he's watching. He even watched me see him.

 

[Souplex]

Big Brother is watching, but only so he can sell videos of you to voyeurs.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

We are being ignored by Big Brother, using the same strategy you might use to pick up a girl. 1) Acknowledge their existence, communicate. 2) The back handed compliment. 3) Ignoring us. 4)Watch them fight with the "Why is he ignoring me?" routine. 5) Watch as she demands we go back to her place, to show us how wrong ignoring her was. 6) Leave when finished, get some breakfast, tell your bros (Looking at you, England) all about the crazy night. We think BB is spying on our life, stalking our Facebooks, but really, they just want the quick and easy, not the dangerous commitment.

 

[Bravo 21]

Which will you choose?
-JFK was a time traveler who shot himself.

just out of curiosity are you a fan of Red Dwarf?

the "Red Menace" didn't die with Soviet Russia, it just is hiding in the moon base built by Nazi Germany while they complete their Death Star and rain down orbital death in their resurgence

No. Did I think of something from it?

actually yes, in one episode, in order to prevent later impeachment and prison time and destabilization of the US, JFK ended up travelling back in time to become the the grassy knoll sniper, saving his reputation and the United States