Trailers: Portal 2: Turret

[BrunDeign]

WARNING! DO NOT PURCHASE THESE TURRETS!

I purchased one in the white paint job. It arrived on time and I took it out of the box and turned it on.

IT DID NOTHING.

Turns out, the delivery truck took a sharp turn at some point and half of the boxes fell on their sides, ruining all of those turrets. My turret was one of those turrets. Now no matter what I do it won't turn on. It is nothing more than a gigantic paperweight.

If the product can be bricked just by turning it on its side, you'd think they would put that on the ordering web page. Seriously, think twice before purchasing this product.

One out of five stars. And I'd vote zero if it were possible.

 

[Nuclear_Suspect]

What is this?

Pause the video at 00:32 to see this clip.

Figured out the numbers.
I forget the actual name for it but this is an alternate way of inputting characters
Hold down ctrl and type a number then release it. You'll get this message.

Here's Da Beens, Dougtato:
You found many.Find the rest.
MiaXsUs FTW

For those who doesnt know Valve is going nuts, they just released a small india bundle on steam but EVERY game in the pack has these signs and potato themed hints/eastereggs (Cogs for example [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.275145-Portals-GlaDOS-Invades-Steam-With-Potato-Related-ARG])

 

[Garrett Richey]

i think that shooting a bullet with the casing is more then 65% more bullet, seeing as the casing is bigger then the actual bullet.
and thank you LTK 70. it is now my goal in life to make myself a turret alarm clock that says "good night" when its shut off, and "are you still there" on snooze.

Depends on what you're using to measure... by mass the projectile generally makes up a fair portion so 65% more is believable.

 

[RA92]

WARNING! DO NOT PURCHASE THESE TURRETS!

I purchased one in the white paint job. It arrived on time and I took it out of the box and turned it on.

IT DID NOTHING.

Turns out, the delivery truck took a sharp turn at some point and half of the boxes fell on their sides, ruining all of those turrets. My turret was one of those turrets. Now no matter what I do it won't turn on. It is nothing more than a gigantic paperweight.

If the product can be bricked just by turning it on its side, you'd think they would put that on the ordering web page. Seriously, think twice before purchasing this product.

One out of five stars. And I'd vote zero if it were possible.

You should do a public service and review it on Amazon.

I always found the Aperture Turrets overhyped. It was mainly the extensive advertising, sleek design and Aperture brand that sold them. And they were pricier than their more competent alternatives. Must-have for hipsters to get that delusion of individuality.

I myself always preferred the Combine Turret. It might not be glamorous, but it's cheap and customisable.

http://images.wikia.com/half-life/en/images/9/9f/Ground_turret_rebel_2.jpg

Custom paint job!

 

[RevRaptor]

So want one. I fell in love with the turrets when I first laid eyes on them in portal 1. Why are there no toys of these things, they would sell like hot cakes. Especially if they fired nerf darts or bb's.

I'd buy like 20 of them and hide the all round the house and then my flatmates would come home and all the lights will be off and they'd hear sniggering form behind the couch, then all hell would break loose. It would be AWESOME

 

[Caligulove]

Pausing and reading the actual diagram cross-sections brought me even more laughs--

SHELL REDISTRIBUTION CHAMBER:
"Please only redistribute Aperture-brand Resolution Pellets. Do not redistribute by hand.
Make sure turret is in Non-Judgement Mode before attempting redistribution"


CONFIDENTIAL:
"If permission to look at this diagram has been granted, please do so now- unless the box labeled 'DO NOT LOOK AT DIAGRAM' on the Diagram Forms Sanction form you should have received from your supervisor is checked.

WARNING: "Standing near turret may result in accidental empathy suppression."

 

[Zinaxos]

I would hate to get hit by a "whole bullet".

 

[ReiverCorrupter]

"...Evening at the Improv? What idiot picked...!"

"Just try getting close to that baby. Your funeral."

 

[Android2137]

Colors including: Forest, Desert, ____, Evening at the Improv, (what idiot picked--).

What was that middle color? Did he say Cable?

The joke about the turret really reminded me of:

Edit: Oh snap, ninja'd!

I bet they were referencing that, actually.

 

[subject_87]

Hilarious as ever, the game is just sitting in my Steam library and taunting me more by the day...

And again, it's nice to have a total lack of commentary on whether or not your mom will like the game.

 

[ObsessiveSketch]

THEY SHOOT THE WHOLE BULLET!!! Oh dear lord, I want this game so fucking bad XD

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Of the three, this was my least favorite, but these are great advertisements.

 

[infohippie]

Haha, that was great. Really looking forward to Portal 2.

 

[Danpascooch]

I'm absolutely loving these new adverts by Valve. I'm already so excited about Portal 2, these tell me the humour is going to be completely spot on. Casting JK Simmons was a touch of pure genius, he's brilliant.

Seriously it's unbelievable, they have the best ads in the entire industry, and they do it without paying through the nose for an advertising firm, why the fuck do companies even use advertising firms anyway!?

 

[Roxor]

The ABC had better feature Valve's ad campaign for Portal 2 on this year's season of The Gruen Transfer.

 

[Censorme]

Love these trailers.

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

Great trailer....but I'm starting to get worried.

I've noticed that the more hype a game gets, the worse it is upon release. Or maybe thats just EA.

 

[Frylock72]

Colors including: Forest, Desert, ____, Evening at the Improv, (what idiot picked--).

What was that middle color? Did he say Cable?

Table. It's wood colored.

OT: I absolutely love these trailers, and all the little things you can find in them are just darling. I really hope I nail this job at Wal-Mart so I'll be able to get this on release.

 

[MB202]

I wonder if Value saw the VG Cats comic...

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=247

 

[choptail]

Valve must have seen that VGCats comic. Must have. Those beautiful trolls...