I still can't wrap my head around the fact that we die.
Billions of years of oblivion and then suddenly *poof* you're born and you're conscious. You experience things and you live, you talk to people and share your experiences and spend time reading things other people have written, watching the Super Bowl, eating Spaghetti-O's, all those things we do day-to-day, all of us marching inexorably forward to our ultimate return to oblivion.
When you're driving down the highway, every single one of the hundreds or thousands of people you pass is exactly the same... they are all (as you are) a collection of thousands upon thousands of individual experiences that led them to exactly where they are at that precise moment...
But in the end, they die. You die. Your parents, children, goldfish... all die. I can never understand it, and the more I think about it, the more upset it makes me and the more helpless I feel... the more I pointlessly wish there was some way to avoid it.
I like it here, and I don't want to go back to non-being... but the REAL bastard of the whole thing is: Once you're dead, and once your brain stops functioning, you won't even be around to CARE that you're dead, and somehow that is the most terrifying part of the whole situation.
And then the world moves on without you and you become, like every other person who has ever lived in the history of the world, the past... and you will never live again. You had your hilariously small window of history, and now it's over.
That is my biggest fear and the biggest cause of wakeful nights... and something I just can't understand or believe.
