Twilight of the She-Geeks

[Gildan Bladeborn]

I guess what I'm saying is this: if you go into it with a chip on your shoulder, you're only going to "confirm" your feeling about how terrible the series is, no matter what. But if you actually open your mind a little, you might just discover that it's a pretty good story after all.

While I certainly hate the novels/films on principle alone, and would never intentionally read or watch either, I have overheard the first film from being in an adjoining room while my sister and her friends were watching it - I am not in any way exaggerating when I say that was literally the worst acting I have ever heard in my entire life (that was not in a pornographic film and thus excused because those are expected to be terrible). My mother, who was in the room watching the film, later commented that the acting was so horrible that the whole thing felt like watching a Spanish soap opera if all the fun was leached out via some unholy procedure (my mom is awesome sometimes).

What your post tells me is that you genuinely have terrible taste, but nice try at tricking the sensible readers into watching that abomination!

 

[sunpop]

Holy crap Bob you nailed it and now I feel guilty and so should every other male nerd out there for we did this to ourselves, it is our fault twilight succeeds.(I sound like a crazy man yelling repent)

But I don't write books and can't draw so I don't make comics and have never published anything or had the rights to anything be bought from me so technically I'm not at fault. But at the same time I never put out anything better than twilight for girls to enjoy and I could put out a 5min film about pecans and outdo twilight's writing.

 

[jboking]

Okay, I can respect how hard it is for the girl geeks. However, the ones that I hang out with have been making fun of me for years for watching science fiction movies with rather impressively endowed women. These same geeks love the Twilight series. Would it be wrong of me to call foul?

I don't see how it would be hard for the girl geeks, really. But the Twilight series would naturally appeal to many, especially teenage, girls because of all the sex-objects in it! I think you have all right to make fun of them back, IMO it's exactly the same as you paying special intrest in Sam Carter from Stargate SG1 for example (I like her, she's smart). And in stargate I think it's a lot more candy for the girls. I mean Teal'c and "MacGyver" are both awesome, but I used to have the biggest crush on Daniel Jackson^^. Not all geeky girls like geeks tho. Where am I going with this? I really thought I had an answer for your question in here! Well, good luck anyway.

Stargate SG1, a poster after my own heart.

You did give your advice on the situation though, and it's the same conclusion I came to. If they feel like hounding me for watching certain sci fi shows with attractive women(and occasionally getting a little distracted by said women) then I believe I have full right to perform the same hounding for them enjoying the Twilight series movies.

 

[Eric the Orange]

B. Gay porn is for gay men. Most women do not like to see dudes doing each other. Trust me.

Well, I wouldn't say that's entirely true. There is a large female fallowing of what is known as "yaoi". Which is essentially gay anime porn.

 

[Samsont]

Snip

 

[Doug]

Holy crap Bob you nailed it and now I feel guilty and so should every other male nerd out there for we did this to ourselves, it is our fault twilight succeeds.(I sound like a crazy man yelling repent)

But I don't write books and can't draw so I don't make comics and have never published anything or had the rights to anything be bought from me so technically I'm not at fault. But at the same time I never put out anything better than twilight for girls to enjoy and I could put out a 5min film about pecans and outdo twilight's writing.

Also, I never bought Leisure Suit Larry, Dead or Alive, or Ninja Gaiden, so I wasn't even supporting that arm of the media.

 

[UtopiaV1]

Great article Bob, really got me thinking. And that is difficult to do, just ask anyone who knows me!

Blade sneaked up behind the Vampire, feet carefully positioned each step of the way to avoid twigs. A false step made a light crackle in the pre-dawn air and Blade froze, hand on his sword. Fortunately, the whiny kid and the wet girl where too busy angst chatter with "Love waits" overtones.

He moved slowly, creeping closer and closer. About 1 metre away from the 'happy' couple, the dawn broke and the kid sparkled. "What the FUCK", thought Blade, "He should be in FLAMES, damnit."

Out loud, he said, "Fuck it" and cut the sparkly whiners head off.

Then the puddle girl attacked! With wave upon wave of passive aggressive whining, Blade felt his mind turning to goo. "FUCK" he shouted and fell to the ground, trying deseperately to lift the blade, "Die damnit, dieeeee!"

Just then, a giant train of a wolf came through the forest and turned into a topless bronze boy with 60 abs, "Oh, how terrible, looks like he's dead. Let me comfort you, my puddly girl"

This was deseperate. Blade could feel himself sinking into a tween 'romance' 'novel'. With his last ounces of strength, he pulled out a grenade, and popped the pin....

That was fantastic, loved the ending. Do it properly and publish it, I PROMISE to buy it

 

[UtopiaV1]

sry for the triple post, goddam router firewall is fucking with me

 

[UtopiaV1]

goddamit all, i hate that firewall my flatmate has put on the router, banning me from everything fun and refusing to let me post stuff...

Hey mods, if u can, cud u delete this post and the previous one?

 

[GloatingSwine]

Here's a little game: Open up Google, go to Images, and type in "Sephiroth". Note how he is not wearing a shirt.

Now, why do you think he's the most popular Final Fantasy villain, particularly with female fans?

So. Girls like fanservice too. Who knew, eh?

 

[Tharticus]

Wow, Moviebob hit it right on the nail.

However, despite women fantasies of having a guy with good looking sculpted body structure, they need to improve its writing instead of having a female protagonist being one dimensional of wanting to be affected. The ideas of vampire and werewolf in a conflict are good but it depends what they put into it. Sadly, that's not the case for guys who watch this and see guys who are werewolves take off their clothes to morph to a werewolf to avoid being savage.

 

[Mushroomfreak111]

Also, I never bought Leisure Suit Larry, Dead or Alive, or Ninja Gaiden, so I wasn't even supporting that arm of the media.

Dead or Alive and Ninja Gaiden was a waste of money and time, both horrible games. And this game X-blades? To me it looks as if they made the characters ass first, and then moulded it around it! And the american voice acting is the worst in ages IMO...

Here's a little game: Open up Google, go to Images, and type in "Sephiroth". Note how he is not wearing a shirt.

I did, and he was wearing a shirt on the entire first page of results^^. I get your point tho, and yes; there are plenty of fan service for girls. Guys in general just don't look for it, but if you do into your next anime, movie or game with your mind set on looking for fan service for females I'm sure you'll find it (well, depends on the movie, game or anime/manga.)!

What happened to great movies? Like the badass Terminator and Die Hard. And games like Lucas Arts' Outlaws? I'm not saying Terminator and Die Hard didn't have some eye candy, but at least the main focus was on kicking the bad guys ass! And games needs to learn from the old days. I'm not saying go back there, cause most of the old games could stand to be a hundred times better... But get back the balance, cause so many new games today are waaaay off

 

[Raregolddragon]

Thank you for taking this movie down.

I swear all the other movie review are in on some kind of conspiracy to make this movie seam good.

 

[sunpop]

Here's a little game: Open up Google, go to Images, and type in "Sephiroth". Note how he is not wearing a shirt.

Now, why do you think he's the most popular Final Fantasy villain, particularly with female fans?

So. Girls like fanservice too. Who knew, eh?

But even guys go nuts about sephiroth even tho we all know vivi is the best not that there is any competition.


But thanks for pointing this out now I know the key to womenz is don't wear a shirt well I will up the ante and go around without pants.

Update: the cops beat me don't do it

 

[lodo_bear]

I tried reading Twilight once, and discovered something curious. I couldn't retain what I read. It passed through my mind and made no impact. It was like trying to eat air. I hadn't encountered writing like that outside of scientific papers before, and I was baffled to find it in a work of popular fiction.

However, I respect the Twilight series, for this reason: Twilight showed Hollywood that Non-Sex Sells. Sure, the characters are hot and shirtless and in love and angst, but there's no sex, just romance and teen confusion and so on. Twilight is actually a step down in terms of objectification, and the fact that it's making bank gives me hope for the future of entertainment that isn't porn.

I admire Stephanie Meyers for that. I won't read her books, but I'm glad they exist.

 

[Nurb]

This idea of women objectifying men for their own sexual fantasies though visual and written media is nothing new, the difference is that men and male geeks are given disproportial amounts of shit for it.

It's sad and pathetic for us, but oh wow, it's somehow magicly different and better when the female geeks mess their panties over yaoi comics, some femme guy in a movie, or another vampire novel with obvious homoerotic undertones.

another difference: When it comes to "dangerous and sexy" characters in entertainment, the male characters, though evil fall in love with teenage emo-girls, the female characters use their sexuality to kill guys

 

[MagusVulpes]

i'm simply terrified by your article here. why? because now i feel a sort of need to read the books just to know how terrible they are.

that's what keeps me up at night.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

i'm simply terrified by your article here. why? because now i feel a sort of need to read the books just to know how terrible they are.

that's what keeps me up at night.

Here's a taster

In that second, I wished that I was not the one exception to his mysterious talent; I usually felt grateful that I was the only person whose thoughts he couldn?t hear just as clearly as if they were spoken aloud. But now I wished he could hear me, too, so that he could hear the warning I was screaming in my head.

or

I was like a lost moon?my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation?that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.

Make up your own mind.

Edit: I ran a readability check on the last sentence.

Coleman Liau index : 12.71
Flesh Kincaid Grade level : 19.72
ARI (Automated Readability Index) : 21.00
SMOG : 19.43
Flesch Reading Ease : 21.33

Which means you need a Grade 12 or 13 (US) to read it.

For the Flesch Reading Ease, an eleven year old girl would need a FRE of >90, Florida REQUIRES that even Life Insurance Forms have a FRE of >45.

To be far though, I ran the same test on MovieBob's review.

Approximate representation of the U.S. grade level needed to comprehend the text :
Coleman Liau index : 12.13
Flesh Kincaid Grade level : 14.06
ARI (Automated Readability Index) : 15.08
SMOG : 13.83

Flesch Reading Ease : 41.55

And remember, he's using phrases like pretzel-logic and less-uncharacteristic-than-I'd-like-it-to-be.