Ultimate Guide to Dating

[Lineoutt]

Heres a little guide I came up with and I'm going to try it out asap. But first one of my friends said it wouldnt work and so I am thinking about editing it a bit. What do you all think?

Lineoutt's Guide to Dating: Acquiring said date
Step 1: for 1 week leading up to the question stare at her a lot. Don't stop unless you have to because that shows weakness. This will make her notice you and think about you.

Step 2: before the big question, prepare. Brush your teeth, comb you hair, put on deodorant. (dont shower because studies show that showering reduces the size of your testicles)

Step 3: download this song onto your ipod or mp3 device (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKPoHgKcqag) and set it so that you can start it easily.

Step 4: when she's alone start the music and walk next to her (remember step 1 and stare intently). [if you cant catch her alone skip to step 5]

Step 5: lunge forward and lick her face to get attention (dont forget to crank up the music and stare whilst doing so)

Step 6: now that you have her attention ask her to go with you to a movie the upcoming saturday or friday and then twitch one eye to show you're sure.

Step 7: If she says no cry until she changes her mind. If she says yes then scream and run away because she must really like you.


Any feedback would be nice here. Its a work in progress

 

[Aur0ra145]

Will it work?!! That's how I found my wife!

 

[delet]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with that plan of action. Nothing at all.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

Well, like Socialism, in theory it works just fine.

But in practice- it works just fucking fine.

[for more jokes related to socialism, talk to me at any time of the day, on any topic]

 

[Lineoutt]

Will it work?!! That's how I found my wife!

*dries tear* its stories like these that remind me of why I created the guide.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with that plan of action. Nothing at all.

really? mee too !

 

[Sleekgiant]

If you play this, it messes up everything, make sure to get the right song

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

I done this one. Backwards!

 

[Lineoutt]

If you play this, it messes up everything, make sure to get the right song

Goddamned hippies ruin everything with there music. I'm glad you brought this up.

 

[swolf]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with that plan of action. Nothing at all.

I'm sensing sarcasm...but in case that's wrong...OMG. Moving on, I met my wife while shopping for a bookshelf. I recommend just being upfront. If she's not interested, then she's probably not the right girl for you. Also, being funny and interesting helps. Just don't go over-the-top with your interesting bit (like a ventriloquist act or something)...just a little "Oh, by the way, check this out." I'm talking long-term. On that note, it's also a good idea to politely talk about your past relationships in a way that sets acceptable ground rules for your relationship. If you can't agree on if cheating should be acceptable or not, you shouldn't date because it won't work out. Don't cry, just move on.

If you're looking for a short term relationship then...um, get tested and use protection. It will put your partner's mind at ease because they don't have to worry about it. Also, try to focus on them, make sure they're having a GREAT time by going out of your way. This will make it more likely that you'll have repeat visits, also, women discuss these matters with their friends (I don't care what they say, they do. Guys do it out of pride to brag. Women do it for that reason or,similarly, to make the other jealous. Either way, it works out for you because you get a reputation for being...well, "skilled".)

 

[VanQ]

Snip.

WHOOOOOOSH! Thats the sound of this going right over your head.

 

[swolf]

Snip.

WHOOOOOOSH! Thats the sound of this going right over your head.

Messed my hair up too.

 

[VanQ]

Snip.

WHOOOOOOSH! Thats the sound of this going right over your head.

Messed my hair up too.

Dont worry, you still look fabulous.

 

[swolf]

Snip.

WHOOOOOOSH! Thats the sound of this going right over your head.

Messed my hair up too.

Dont worry, you still look fabulous.

Why thank you. Of course, I will never be as good looking as you...though I can only hope of one day becoming that way.

 

[Zeromaeus]

That sounds just like what I did when I asked my first girlfriend out. Only I employed more mind-fuckery.

 

[Vampire cat]

I would totally date you Oo.

 

[VanQ]

Snip.

WHOOOOOOSH! Thats the sound of this going right over your head.

Messed my hair up too.

Dont worry, you still look fabulous.

Why thank you. Of course, I will never be as good looking as you...though I can only hope of one day becoming that way.

They say the best dreams are the unobtainable ones.

 

[Jackalb]

Rohypnol and flowers are quicker.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Rohypnol and flowers are quicker.

No, Rohypnol is a "morning after" drug to sneak out of the apartment when she asks for coffee. But I am so going to try this, licking a random woman's face sounds like fun.

 

[DazZ.]

lick her face to get attention

I think whacking on the Marvin Gaye and walking over would get their attention anyway.
If it doesn't you need to work on your walk.

I'm not saying don't lick the face, it's still a solid move, just one that should be used for setting the mood instead of attention.

 

[teutonicman]

I usually just stick to chloroform..... but that's just me. Also I'd have this song playing