Unskippable: Unskippable 100: A Guide to Cinematics

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
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Unskippable 100: A Guide to Cinematics

Graham and Paul use the knowledge they've gained from Unskippable for "good".

Watch Video
 

Vampire cat

Apocalypse Meow
Apr 21, 2010
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Hah, brilliant =p. One of my favorite ever Unskippables, no doubt.

EDIT: mein gott... First post... I feel like I was maybe a bit too bored to watch the movie in the very second it launched >>.
 

StriderShinryu

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Dec 8, 2009
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Hey, it's good as long as some humour can be gleaned from it.. I think. That was a great video though. :)
 

Count Igor

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May 5, 2010
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Hah.
I like the idea, but...
Doesn't this just mean you'll have to make even more Unskippable?
Again.
And again.
On those dreadful JRPG's.
The ones where you'd rather be outside having... *shudder* a life, for once.
Mmhmm.
 

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
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You can never have to much moon!
Or Text!
Or Crows!
...
Or Cowbell!
 

MatParker116

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Feb 4, 2009
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Casting ex Power Ranger Johnny Yong Bosch appears to make for an excellent opening cinematic.
 

TheSkaAssassin

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Oct 12, 2009
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Wow, I remember when this series first came out. Congrats on making it to 100 episodes.
Here's to the next hundred.
 

Mr. Omega

ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY HATE!
Jul 1, 2010
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Happy 100th episode!
Hm... maybe I could have a crow fall from a giant moon in first-person into not-europe while asking obvious questions. I think I've made the perfect cutscene! Thanks, Unskippable!
 

Spolin

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Nov 22, 2010
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It's weird, I just recently decided to re-watch all the old Unskippables, so I could place all of the shots.
 

Jakale

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Feb 16, 2010
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Zoids was a really boring cutscene/history textbook.

I'm surprised you didn't mention having characters falling long distances, unless that Eternal \Sonata bit counted.
 

Da Joz

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May 19, 2009
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I'll keep these tips in mind when I'm creating a cutscene, which will unfortunatley most likely be never.
 

Aphroditty

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Nov 25, 2009
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A great compilation of cutscene trends, thank goodness we can look forward to seeing them going into the future! It would have been a horrific tragedy if cutscene directors had thought that these overwrought or under-produced scenes were flawed, but fortunately we are assured of seeing them throughout all ages.

Most importantly, congratulations on your 100th episode! I've seen every single one. More than once (except for this current one). It's consistently one of the most humorous series on the Escapist, and even compares well with luminaries like MST3K. I don't say that last thing very often, let me tell you. Again, congrats, and further good fortune to Graham and Paul!


A shout-out to my top three personal favorite Unskippables over the past 100 episodes:

Onimusha
Chronicles of Valkyria
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

My favorite moment from Unskippable?
The two that most stick out in my mind are...
"Wait, where did I leave the moon...?"
and
"Ooooh, scary peacock!"
 

dex-dex

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Oct 20, 2009
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my god!
i am very unobservant!

how bad is it to say i never noticed half of them.
 

hittite

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Nov 9, 2009
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And remember, you don't want all that pesky gameplay getting in the way. Your game should be at least 50% cutscenes. Just look at games like Metal Gear Solid.
 

GeorgW

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Aug 27, 2010
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Nice one, very funny, but learn the difference between crows and ravens.
 

hawk533

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Dec 17, 2009
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That was an awesome look back on the cutscenes you've covered. Congrats on 100 episodes.
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Wow. Only now do I realize how insanely stupid some cut-scenes are.

"You came by helicopter, didn't you?"

YOU SAW HIM JUMP OUT OF THE HELICOPTER!!
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Graham_LRR said:
Unskippable 100: A Guide to Cinematics

Graham and Paul use the knowledge they've gained from Unskippable for "good".

Watch Video
My God, that was great. You guys should do this again sometimes (infrequently), offering more "help."

Is it wrong that I now want to make a cutscene that does all of the things listed here?
 

capacollo

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Nov 17, 2009
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That was quite funny. Don't know if I would be honoured or scared to have one of my games featured in UnSkippable ...
 

Jaebird

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Aug 19, 2008
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Such a great video to use for your 100th episode. I was in stitches when I heard "Not-Europe."
 

Jim Grim

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Jun 6, 2009
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Ok, we start with a shot of a crow. We then zoom in on the back of the crows head and enter a first person perspective. A giant moon then falls and crushes the crow, leaving the crow unharmed somehow. The crow then catches a taxi to a non-destript country in Noteurope. The taxi driver narrates while text scrolls down the screen, telling of the long, boring political history of the country, with breaks so that the crow can ask vapid questions. And then the game starts.
 

Link_to_Future

Good Dog. Best Friend.
Nov 19, 2009
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Wow...100 episodes already.

Unskippable joined the escapist and kicked off a golden age of videos for the site. There Will Be Brawl, Doomsday Arcade, Unforgotten Realms, Unskippable. Good times for sure.

I may not be a fan of much of the video content on the site anymore, but anything by LRR is worthwhile in my book. Unskippable merely launched LRR's video takeover of the escapist.

Thank you for all the amazing content guys. Here's to another 100 episodes.
 

al502

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Nov 19, 2009
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now this is one of my favorite episodes, found it completely hilarious. And i don't think it's actually possible to run out of game trailers and intros. seriously though, an amazing episodes and just wanted to mention it.
 

Fightgarr

Concept Artist
Dec 3, 2008
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I would've loved to have sat in on the writing process for this one. Very funny stuff.

On a side note: did the 100 episodes include the Lost Planet pilot or did they start with Eternal Sonata?
 

Mydnyght

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Feb 17, 2010
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100 episodes...100 episodes of "WTF?" cutscenes. How do you guys put up with it?

And yes, I agree with you about Zoids Assault. All that silent text... The still pictures (except for that snow)... And whoever voiced that woman (Alexys van Clyft? I'll be damned that I can remember that...) most likely did not want to. (If that was Michelle Ruff, I'll be GOD-FUCKING-DAMNED; no one deserves to go through such a shit-ass cutscene, let alone her!)
 

AnneSQF

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Sep 22, 2009
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NO! What have you done! I thought you had learned from failures of the past! The internet doesn't get sarcasm. We are doooooooomed!
 

JonnWood

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Jul 16, 2008
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So on the point about Parrot Exposition, you show MGS clips.

I'm not sure that counts as "low-hanging fruit".
 

Space Jawa

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Feb 2, 2010
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On the bright side, if developers didn't have an obsession with bad, poorly made and poorly thought out cut scenes, we wouldn't have Unskippable now, would we?
 

Zagzag

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Sep 11, 2009
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It's strange! None of my favourite cutscenes are anything like that! I wonder why I like them.
 

Irony's Acolyte

Back from the Depths
Mar 9, 2010
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Very nice. Love the tongue-in-cheek humor of the whole thing.

Anyway congrats on you're 100th episode. I think I'll go back and watch a few of my favorites.
 

Lambi

Yuki-Onna
Oct 20, 2009
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Jakale said:
Zoids was a really boring cutscene/history textbook.

I'm surprised you didn't mention having characters falling long distances, unless that Eternal \Sonata bit counted.
What do you mean they didn't mention? There were a few clips after the bit from Eternal Sonata showing characters falling down a long distance.

OT: Loved this episode. And I always love seeing Russel. :3
 

SFR

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Mar 26, 2009
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We're all thinking it, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it:

crows are one of the smartest animals on the planet.

You're welcome.
 

OtherSideofSky

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Jan 4, 2010
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Another great video.

As far as crows are concerned, at least in Japanese games, the sheer number of them in Tokyo might have something to do with it. Seriously, they're everywhere in that city and they're huge.

Also, Zoids Assault was definitely a really, REALLY bad cutscene. You definitely made the correct choice about that.
 

tehweave

Gaming Wildlife
Apr 5, 2009
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Loved it. I like referential humor, and this is a nice look back at all the horrible games you've watched cinematics for. Well done.
 

JMeganSnow

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Aug 27, 2008
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Very funny, guys, but pointing out what people are doing WRONG doesn't necessarily help them learn what to do RIGHT. I was hoping for some actual tips, because I (and most game developers apparently) don't know much about cinematics. Of course, you could always save that for episode 200 :D
 

MattAn24

Pulse l'Cie
Jul 16, 2009
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GeorgW said:
Nice one, very funny, but learn the difference between crows and ravens.
That defeats the point of the "Russell Crowe" joke! You silly man..
 

Coltaculuss

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Nov 21, 2010
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I still can't see the problem with overly dramatic narration. I like it! Overacting is better then underacting.
 

Atmos Duality

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Mar 3, 2010
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"Wait a minute, where did I leave the moon?"

If you ever run out of material, just do a marathon of the cutscenes in Dirge of Cerberus.
I've played that game, and it has some of the absolute most insanely stupid shit ever put into a AAA franchise.

And I mean that in a bad way; great for riffing, but boy will you be pissed if you actually enjoyed FF7, and confused if you never played it.
 
Feb 18, 2009
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Congratulations on your 100th episode! May there be a hundred more episodes still to come.

...Another hundred woefully bad and dreadfully dull cutscenes to sit through. Godspeed.
 

WeirdBlueOne

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Nov 19, 2009
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Very funny. If I ever decide to make a parody cutscene of anything, I'm coming back here.
Is it bad that when you started talking about crows my first thought was "Kroze?" ?
If you replace crows with Kroze, it still works for most of that bit.
 

Naturality

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Feb 23, 2010
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Top notch, fellows! One of the best Unskippables thus far, I must say.

Does Paul have a cold?
 

mjc0961

YOU'RE a pie chart.
Nov 30, 2009
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Snake is the master of repeating what everyone else says as a question. Hell he just does it when he sees people. If I had a dollar for every time he said "Naomi?" in MGS4... Well I wouldn't be rich, but I could probably go get a pizza.

Also, is Paul sick? He sounds like he maybe has a cold or something. If he does, hope he gets well soon.
 

Aptspire

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Mar 13, 2008
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Back to Emmeria! (wherever that is) :p
also, I thought you'd bring back the '1st time I died' and you didn't disappoint :D
 

Tempest13

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AnneSQF said:
NO! What have you done! I thought you had learned from failures of the past! The internet doesn't get sarcasm. We are doooooooomed!
THAT WAS SARCASM!?!! MY CUTSCENE IS RUINED!
 

chris11246

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Jul 29, 2009
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Great episode

and to anyone who hasnt watched the video the front pic has nothing to do with the video
 

Graham_LRR

Unskippable, LRR, Feed Dump
Nov 13, 2008
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damn its crazy to see all those "unskippable" episodes and thinking back on all the great moments. And also a lot bad cut scenes share a lot bad things in common.
 

fanklok

Legendary Table User
Jul 17, 2009
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Please, you guys aren't even trying. It should be a fuck huge moon made of crows that's trying to invade not-europe with zombie robots.
 

Alar

The Stormbringer
Dec 1, 2009
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I'm sure this has been quoted many times before, but...

"Maybe look forward to is too strong." "Dread?" "Yeah..." This had me grinning and suppressing the urge to bust up laughing.
 

mireko

Umbasa
Sep 23, 2010
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Congrats on 100 episodes!

Valkyria Chronicles should really have had one of those miniseries. I love the game but the cutscenes are aaaaarrrghh-worthy, and the riffs in that episode were solid gold.
 

shadyh8er

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Help me! I'm drowning under the sarcasm in this episode!

Congrats on the 100 episodes guys! If it wasn't for Yahtzee I never would've heard of you!
 

ars731

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congrats on your 100th episode, great episode as well,

you also forgot to point out that you need to feature things that have nothing to do with the game in your cut scene. for instance if you have a game about Yakuza, talk about the thrilling world of real estate instead. because that whats players want.
 

samsonguy920

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that was a cool way to celebrate 100 episodes! I need to go back through the list cuz I dont remember some scenes. Good job guys! Here's to the next 100!
 

mekashiyu

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So glad I sat down and watched every episode, makes it much better when you recognize all the games/cutscenes. XD

I think my favorites so far are Bionic Commando (all the arm puns, jeez), Prototype (it was the first time I heard the Russell Crow joke), and good old Alone in the Dark, which was the first Unskippable I stumbled upon. Not to say all of them aren't great!

Keep on rockin' it guys. My Mondays are always awesome thanks to you. :D
 

The Random One

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May 29, 2008
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Oh my God. All the cutscenes are the same cutscene.

I support the huge moon actually. Real moon ain't up to snuff.
 

hypermage

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Top banana retrospective. Here's to another hundred episodes and another two years of Unskippable. May videogame developers continue to make cinematics without first referring to this guide.
 

GoodEyeSniper

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GeorgW said:
Nice one, very funny, but learn the difference between crows and ravens.
There is no difference. Crow is a term that refers to the genus "Corvus", while Raven is a term that refers to the species "Corvus corax" i.e. All ravens are crows, but not all crows are ravens.

Oh, and congratulotions on the 100th, Grampulina!
 

TheSchaef

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Feb 1, 2008
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This video reminds me, how many "times I died" are we up to now? I haven't heard that one reset in a while and I've lost count.
 

Orcus The Ultimate

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Graham_LRR said:
Unskippable 100: A Guide to Cinematics

Graham and Paul use the knowledge they've gained from Unskippable for "good".

Watch Video
The Unskipabble Humour has gone into another level !

ps: got the joke?

ps ps: i loved all the parts, and the whole video is great i don't know what to choose, my head will burst because of great criticism !
 

Ap0ca1ypse

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Jun 12, 2010
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Aphroditty said:
A great compilation of cutscene trends, thank goodness we can look forward to seeing them going into the future! It would have been a horrific tragedy if cutscene directors had thought that these overwrought or under-produced scenes were flawed, but fortunately we are assured of seeing them throughout all ages.

Most importantly, congratulations on your 100th episode! I've seen every single one. More than once (except for this current one). It's consistently one of the most humorous series on the Escapist, and even compares well with luminaries like MST3K. I don't say that last thing very often, let me tell you. Again, congrats, and further good fortune to Graham and Paul!


A shout-out to my top three personal favorite Unskippables over the past 100 episodes:

Onimusha
Chronicles of Valkyria
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

My favorite moment from Unskippable?
The two that most stick out in my mind are...
"Wait, where did I leave the moon...?"
and
"Ooooh, scary peacock!"
If I had to pick favorites I liked ONimusha and Last Remnant, but honestly when I'm by myself I will think something is funny but not laugh out loud. One Unskippable that definitely made me laugh and thusly I rank my favorite: Eternal Sonata. Not as much the narrator part, but when the girl is walking with her mom. 2 of my favorite lines: "No questions. Mummy's drunk." (or somethin like that) and "Can puddles make waves too." "No. that's stupid. God your dumb." (I just love Graham's tone there)

OT: Guys! You forgot to mention one thing! Always show awesome fight scenes that make the player wish they could play it. Examples: Onimusha 3, Lost Odyssey, and Devil May Cry 4.
 

Mydnyght

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SandroTheMaster said:
Wait a minute...

I don't remember you ever doing Dark Messiah of Might and Magic.

Explain yourselves!
Don't worry, they did:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/unskippable/968-Dark-Messiah
 

Aphroditty

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Ap0ca1ypse said:
If I had to pick favorites I liked ONimusha and Last Remnant, but honestly when I'm by myself I will think something is funny but not laugh out loud. One Unskippable that definitely made me laugh and thusly I rank my favorite: Eternal Sonata. Not as much the narrator part, but when the girl is walking with her mom. 2 of my favorite lines: "No questions. Mummy's drunk." (or somethin like that) and "Can puddles make waves too." "No. that's stupid. God your dumb." (I just love Graham's tone there)

OT: Guys! You forgot to mention one thing! Always show awesome fight scenes that make the player wish they could play it. Examples: Onimusha 3, Lost Odyssey, and Devil May Cry 4.
I'm just the opposite, I tend to laugh loudly alone but be more reserved around others--but then, I laugh pretty easily.

However, both quotes you mentioned really were absolute gold. Graham really nailed the comedic voice in those, just pegged it.

And, of course, awesome fight scenes that show how great this game would be, if there were game any game underneath the cinematics, are a must for any mad cutscene director!
 

werty101

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These two game intros would be perfect for Unskippable episodes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEaISOVZj9s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBhhhWDcrSo
 

Sennz0r

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May 25, 2008
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I agree that made up dates are stupid if you don't give players a point of reference, but what if you have your intro explain all the stuff that's happened, for example the great cataclysm that prompted your character to go out and save the world, and you base your made up calendar on that?
At least then the player will have some point of reference to where people are at time wise. Most of them probably won't care, but I'm pretty sure there are people out there who do.

Funny episode though, really did make me laugh.
 

Vohn_exel

Residential Idiot
Oct 24, 2008
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100 episodes! Way to go guys! They've all been stellar and hilarious! Without Unskippable, I probably would have never watched Loading Ready Run. Lets hope to have 100 more!
 

fielfuego

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Dec 29, 2009
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Oh noes! I JUST missed my opportunity to have the 100th post on the 100th ep! I saw the "99 comments" and I'm like "Yes! Serendipity, Biatch!"

Anyway... well done Onchei. ((sigh))

Oh yeah... and well done, Unskippable! ;-)
 

bawkbawkboo1

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After watching this episode I went back and watched a bunch of them. Arc Rise Fantasia was really good because the cutscene was so, so bad, but my favorite is still Valkyria Chronicles. I started watching the Eternal Sonata one but that thing is just too long.
 

Tracer Kinship

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Nov 20, 2009
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Yo Dawg, I herd you like Unskippable...


Jim Grim said:
Ok, we start with a shot of a crow. We then zoom in on the back of the crows head and enter a first person perspective. A giant moon then falls and crushes the crow, leaving the crow unharmed somehow. The crow then catches a taxi to a non-destript country in Noteurope. The taxi driver narrates while text scrolls down the screen, telling of the long, boring political history of the country, with breaks so that the crow can ask vapid questions. And then the game starts.
You forgot to mention the nondescript time frame of the 19th year of Mooncrow.


Congrats on 100th episode, hope for many more to come.
 

Megido

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Aug 24, 2008
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You know, guys, "dread", is a strong word too. It's just on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Great episode, though. It's awesome to see all the useful tips for intro cutscene creation that you've gathered.
 

Chasmodius

Rogue Commentator
Jan 13, 2010
164
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It's interesting to me that those are all legitimate and effective story-telling techniques... when used correctly. Even the silliest of those suggestions has been used well in one game or another (as Graham mentioned with Half-Life 1). The problem comes when other games simply re-hash those ideas badly, or use them as a crutch for poor characterization or storytelling. Even repeating the last thing someone said in the form of a question can be useful -- say, to illustrate that your main character has just received a life-threatening head injury and may have brain damage! :p

Wolcik said:
Too bad Half-Life isn't Unskippableable XD
Actually, that sounds like an intro ripe for the "Unskippable" treatment to me! Okay, so very little actually happens in 10 minutes, but there's still plenty to comment on. Best part: you can't skip it!
 

teknoarcanist

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To my mind, the 'simple and clean' video at the beginning of the first Kingdom Hearts game is still the champion of all cutscenes. It's short, it's simple, it's visually arresting, it's got a great song with a hell of a melodic hook, and it manages to establish the main characters and atmosphere without shoving its junk in your face. Short, sweet, and to the point.
 

Deviluk

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my favourite ep has to be omunisha 3. When Jean Reno is asking people how he got from Paris to medieval japan lol.
 

ensouls

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You missed 'introduce any female characters via an ass shot.' Great video. The bit with the fake calendars is my favourite.
 

Ironic Pirate

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Count Igor said:
Hah.
I like the idea, but...
Doesn't this just mean you'll have to make even more Unskippable?
Again.
And again.
On those dreadful JRPG's.
The ones where you'd rather be outside having... *shudder* a life, for once.
Mmhmm.
Man, the way you put that, I thought it'd be an acrostic poem or something. You know, spells a word when you read it

l
i
k
e

t
h
i
s.

I'm kinda sad now. JRPGs do have some awful cutscenes though.
 

Ericb

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It sucks thet these kinds of cutscenes are the norm in the videogame industry.

Even worse is that a lot of gamers are impressed by them, day in day out.

Congratulations on stiking around for so long, Unskippable. You do an incredbiel service by openly making fun of the ridiculousnes that are cutscenes, especialy poorly written ones.
 

MB202

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Sep 14, 2008
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You know, I thought at first that you were really going to talk about how to make a good cutscene. But this turned out way better.
 

Ghored

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Mar 15, 2010
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Took me a while to see that this guide was entirely sarcastic. It would explain my fits of laughter most of the video.
 

Maur DL

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Jul 8, 2009
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This is the best Unskippable I've seen in a long time. I think only X-Blades made me laugh more.
 

Extraintrovert

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Maybe that was why Piccolo destroyed the moon. He was just annoyed at how arrogant it had gotten from appearing in all these QUALITY games and he wanted to take it down a notch, but went a bit too far.

Let's just hope he doesn't do something similar if he ever meets Russel.
 

Boba Frag

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Decided to watch this after reading the tripartite debate between Graham, Yahtzee and Shamus of Stolen Pixels.
This is still my favourite Unskippable.

Recently played Alan Wake and loved it- thankfully it refused to follow Paul and Graham's rules!

EDIT: This Captcha thing is getting on my tits.
 

redarmyagent

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Feb 5, 2010
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GeorgW said:
Nice one, very funny, but learn the difference between crows and ravens.
So sorry to have insulted the bird-watching community. Y'know, because EVERYBODY knows the difference between all big black birds.

geeeez.

Also, lol: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-raven-and-a-crow.htm a Raven is a type of crow.
 

GeorgW

ALL GLORY TO ME!
Aug 27, 2010
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redarmyagent said:
GeorgW said:
Nice one, very funny, but learn the difference between crows and ravens.
So sorry to have insulted the bird-watching community. Y'know, because EVERYBODY knows the difference between all big black birds.

geeeez.

Also, lol: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-raven-and-a-crow.htm a Raven is a type of crow.
4 months?? Are you serious??