[UPDATE] Ocean Marketing's Former Client Disowns Shady PR Firm

ThunderCavalier

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Nov 21, 2009
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After reading through three articles related to this man, there is just one question that reverberates loud and true through my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?!

You've lost. The Internet and everyone in the entire video gaming industry does not like you. You make Pirates look fine. You make EA and Activision look like angels. I can't safely say that you're as bad and persistent as the Westboro Baptist Church in stirring up controversy, but you're getting there.
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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ThunderCavalier said:
After reading through three articles related to this man, there is just one question that reverberates loud and true through my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?!

You've lost. The Internet and everyone in the entire video gaming industry does not like you. You make Pirates look fine. You make EA and Activision look like angels. I can't safely say that you're as bad and persistent as the Westboro Baptist Church in stirring up controversy, but you're getting there.
Don't you get it? He doesn't care, he knows the mayor of Boston.
 

chiefohara

New member
Sep 4, 2009
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The man's power of denial is quite frankly amazing. When is it going to actually hit him whats happened?
 

vansau

Mortician of Love
May 25, 2010
6,107
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Avatar Roku said:
ThunderCavalier said:
After reading through three articles related to this man, there is just one question that reverberates loud and true through my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?!

You've lost. The Internet and everyone in the entire video gaming industry does not like you. You make Pirates look fine. You make EA and Activision look like angels. I can't safely say that you're as bad and persistent as the Westboro Baptist Church in stirring up controversy, but you're getting there.
Don't you get it? He doesn't care, he knows the mayor of Boston.
Actually, he doesn't know the mayor. He admitted that.

...

...

...BUT! He knows the guy who's in charge of the door at PAX East.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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There's no way I can discuss this without resorting to a couple dozen "mfw" photos, all involving looks of horror and bewilderment, with one trollface planted near the end.

I'll let that speak for itself.
 

redisforever

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Oct 5, 2009
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vansau said:
Avatar Roku said:
ThunderCavalier said:
After reading through three articles related to this man, there is just one question that reverberates loud and true through my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?!

You've lost. The Internet and everyone in the entire video gaming industry does not like you. You make Pirates look fine. You make EA and Activision look like angels. I can't safely say that you're as bad and persistent as the Westboro Baptist Church in stirring up controversy, but you're getting there.
Don't you get it? He doesn't care, he knows the mayor of Boston.
Actually, he doesn't know the mayor. He admitted that.

...

...

...BUT! He knows the guy who's in charge of the door at PAX East.
HE KNOWS THE DOORMAN?! Holy shit, this are some legit connections!!

OT: After reading update, what the hell? He's like some 5 year old, throwing a tantrum! "No, MY ACCOUNTS! I KEEP THEM!" *facepalm*
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

Better Red than Dead
Aug 5, 2009
48,836
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I'll pass the popcorn and I expect more updates ;)


I just can't believe he fails to realize his career is dead, buried and unloved.
 

Frostbite3789

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Jul 12, 2010
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vansau said:
Avatar Roku said:
ThunderCavalier said:
After reading through three articles related to this man, there is just one question that reverberates loud and true through my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?!

You've lost. The Internet and everyone in the entire video gaming industry does not like you. You make Pirates look fine. You make EA and Activision look like angels. I can't safely say that you're as bad and persistent as the Westboro Baptist Church in stirring up controversy, but you're getting there.
Don't you get it? He doesn't care, he knows the mayor of Boston.
Actually, he doesn't know the mayor. He admitted that.

...

...

...BUT! He knows the guy who's in charge of the door at PAX East.
Don't forget he knows how wwebsite.

Isn't that the most important thing?
 

ChildofGallifrey

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May 26, 2008
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redisforever said:
HE KNOWS THE DOORMAN?! Holy shit, this are some legit connections!!
NOT ONLY THAT! He also knows a couple of people who have clubs!! Dude puts on his shiny shoes and goes steppin' out, bouncers be like "$5 cover bro" and Paul be all "PSSSSHHHHH! WHO YO THINK I AM SON??!! " Word.

OT: Thank The Jesus that Google exists, because it basically guarantees that this **** to End All Cunts will never have another decent job. Nobody paying more than minimum wage would dare hire this prick after seeing what he's like (and he'll probably get turned away from a few of those too).

Also, not a lawyer here so I'm going to ask: If Paul is indeed, as they put it, holding the companies email and media accounts hostage, isn't that just a tad bit illegal? Is that something else to add to the (increasingly long) list of crimes, and at least 2 felonies. [footnote]The 2 felonies being advertising links to pirated CDs on his 'company' Twitter and charging customer credit cards without shipping the product.[/footnote]
 

Smeggs

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Oct 21, 2008
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If the scumball hasn't learned yet, it's only a matter of time.

There will always be those half crazy people on the internet who will be hell-bent on making this guy suffer. And seeing as how his attitude has really not changed and he hasn't actually admitted to be in the wrong, I sort of hope they do.
 

samsonguy920

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Mar 24, 2009
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Tell me why complaints leading to arrest haven't been sworn out against this guy, yet? He has already performed several acts of fraud and embezzlement against the companies he claimed to represent and worked for once upon a time. This little bit about him hijacking email accounts is only one more layer to the cake.
Smeggs said:
If the scumball hasn't learned yet, it's only a matter of time.
Unfortunately there are those who are just too ignorant, obstinant, and so full of their own self-worth that it is impossible for them to change short of a near death experience. Much as I would love to see this guy be ran over by a bus or beaten to a coma by someone, I would prefer nobody ended up going to jail over this guy. It isn't worth it.

The more I read about Chriscthuluwhatshisname, the more I am reminded of one character in Yahtzee Croshaw's book, Mogworld. In there is one guy who is a complete idiot but feels the insane desire to change things in the world regardless of the consequences or how those who are responsible for what goes on feel about that. He and Chrisbrowniandingleberry share a lot in common.
 

Flying Dagger

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Apr 14, 2009
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I wonder if kotkin has also stopped doing business with him in that other business they own.
As much as Christoforo is a complete dick it wouldn't surprise me at all if this was just Kotkin saying one thing to the press to cover his ass and showing a completely different face to Christoforo.

I still don't think the backlash this guy has recieved is right though - he deserved to be fired and ignored rather than giving him the freakish spotlight he's shamefully basking in.
 

Flying Dagger

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Apr 14, 2009
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ChildofGallifrey said:
NOT ONLY THAT! He also knows a couple of people who have clubs!! Dude puts on his shiny shoes and goes steppin' out, bouncers be like "$5 cover bro" and Paul be all "PSSSSHHHHH! WHO YO THINK I AM SON??!! " Word.

OT: Thank The Jesus that Google exists, because it basically guarantees that this **** to End All Cunts will never have another decent job. Nobody paying more than minimum wage would dare hire this prick after seeing what he's like (and he'll probably get turned away from a few of those too).

Also, not a lawyer here so I'm going to ask: If Paul is indeed, as they put it, holding the companies email and media accounts hostage, isn't that just a tad bit illegal? Is that something else to add to the (increasingly long) list of crimes, and at least 2 felonies. [footnote]The 2 felonies being advertising links to pirated CDs on his 'company' Twitter and charging customer credit cards without shipping the product.[/footnote]
I sense a rather large disparity between calling him a "**** to end all cunts" and his list of very petty crimes.
There are actual evil people in the world, and yet the internet seems to prefer to demonise some small fry jerk.
 

Cyrus Hanley

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Oct 13, 2010
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Tanis said:
He has a kid...so this means a woman slept with him, willing (he's not in jail), at least ONCE.
Not to mention the fact that he beat her and she's still with him. :-/
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
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Avatar Roku said:
Don't you get it? He doesn't care, he knows the mayor of Boston.
He also knows the guy that works at the door of PAX east, that's some pretty tight connections.
 

joe-h2o

The name's Bond... Hydrogen Bond
Oct 23, 2011
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DigitalSushi said:
Avatar Roku said:
Don't you get it? He doesn't care, he knows the mayor of Boston.
He also knows the guy that works at the door of PAX east, that's some pretty tight connections.
I think the term is "tighter than a nun's love box".

At least, that's what my new PR man tells me.

"It's all about the starteraregy, Joe", he tells me.

I'm slightly concerned he's storing open barrels of ether next to tubs of NI[sub]3[/sub].. Couldn't be a bad omen, right?
 

Steve the Pocket

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Mar 30, 2009
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I have to wonder just how N-Control found this guy in the first place and how he managed to convince them that he could do the job. Was it his website full of copypasted marketing blurbs or his barely legible emails that won them over? ;) Seriously, for a public relations guy, he's probably the most epic failure at any skill related to public relations that's ever walked the earth.
 

Anton P. Nym

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Sep 18, 2007
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And this, boys and girls, is why we don't do steroids; it makes you do things that would have half the Internet cheerfully tase you at your desk until your office smells like a hot-dog stand.

Seriously, though, I've done a very slight bit of what Christoforo was supposed to be doing (administering the Internet presence of a small company on their behalf) and I dearly hope that I never, ever came within a light-year of shennanigans like this. It's not just unprofessional, it's stupid and self-defeating. It would be monumentally difficult for Avenger's new representation to be half as bad as Christoforo even with deliberate effort.

I'm hoping this turns into a textbook case so no one ever does anything this ridiculous again.

-- Steve