OK, but that's orders of magnitude more difficult than what they're asking for.
It is, truly, much easier to make the world suck. That is correct.
Nobody is telling people they must identify as a gender at odds with their sex. That is a right-wing canard. In truth, there is overwhelming societal pressure to conform to one's birth sex, then there are people who say you don't have to. It is you, here, who are the only one acting proscriptively towards how other people act and feel.
And nor is it based on stereotypical gendered behaviours-- the "toxic caricatures" you mention above. Trans and queer people tend to be the ones who adhere least to expected gendered behaviours: who care least about how men and women "should" present, and who value fluidity and androgyny.
You're doing it right now. You're espousing the exact problematic paradigm twice in this post.
I won't say that nobody tells people they have to conform to the gender norms of their sex, some people do that, but it isn't most people. Even the most fervent traditionalists are unlikely to say that people have to conform to gender roles. There's always going to be some pressure towards many gendered things because there is value in them, because they give people joy and lead to procreation, and people want other people to be happy and have kids, but that isn't the image of the world you are espousing. You see stodgy conservatives pushing arbitrary rules at best, and then you see yourself as part of the good guys that will let people be free, and that's not reality, that's caricature. Just about everyone (at least in our two countries) will tell people they don't have to conform to gender roles. But I'm not going to tell someone that they are different in kind from other people because they choose to do so.
Then you say "trans and queer people adhere least to expected gendered behaviors". Entertain me for a second and imagine that trans and queer are not intrinsic biological features, and reconsider that sentence. You think being trans leads people from adhering to expected gender behaviors. I would say that not wanting to adhere to expected gendered behaviors leads people to identify as trans. We agree on the correlation, just not on the cause and effect. Defining your identity based on not conforming to gender norms is still defining your identity based on gender norms. Doing things you wouldn't otherwise do just to buck the trends is just as toxic as doing things you wouldn't do to follow the trends.
Telling people that gender is an immutable and defining characteristic within themselves changes the way that they see themselves. It changes the way that they behave around others. It changes the way they present. Not just trans people, but all people, are increasingly pressured by your paradigm to act specific ways just to feel like the people around them can recognize them for who they are. You can't be so silly as to think that something biological makes so many queer women die their hair crazy colors and fill their nose with piercings, many do that as a social message of their identity, they want people to see and recognize their identity. The opposite is also happening, people who don't identify as queer or trans are going to increasingly avoid any behavior associated with those things. Movements of hypermasculinity and hyperfemininity are not symptomatic of a sudden rise in conservative values, they are people playing out the consequences of the gender paradigm you cling onto. But they don't have to do that, neither trans nor cis, gender isn't who they are, it's just a description of things that people made up. The sooner people can understand that, the happier society will be as a result.
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