Useless Superpower
- Thread starter prince_xedar
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I did that once. My desk came with no instructions. How complicated can a desk be, I hear you ask. Far too complicated.James Nixon said:
Got some straight out of the loony bin for ya:
- The ability to become temporarily disoriented / lost.
- Your face appears in whatever TV screen you're looking at.
- Your genitals can shape shift into the form of a same-sized zebra for the duration of the last iTunes song you purchased.
- Your can coax your genitals to sing with a saucer of warm milk, but they're only sing racist white power hate songs.
- The ability to accelerate the rate of your skin cells death and reproduction to the point where you can visibly shed dust and dander and scabs and scar tissue.
- The ability to miss any note or speech tone you sing or say; you sound like a teenagers voice cracking through a malfunctioning auto tune.
- Your saliva is a natural aphrodisiac for hornets.
- Unless you keep moving, everyone else's face mirrors your own.
- Any Xbox you buy red-rings. Even the slims.
- Playstations and Nintendo's too.
- Using soap just makes you dirtier.
- Every time you wake up, you excrete a distributed 300lbs of clear gelatin, unidentifiable save for your DNA.
- You can liquify food with a concentrated glare, but only if you really want to eat it.
- Whenever you flex your muscles, you emit a very convincing horse whinney.
- While making no sound or smell, everyone in a mile KNOWS - with DIRE episimological certitude - when you fart.
- The ability to become temporarily disoriented / lost.
- Your face appears in whatever TV screen you're looking at.
- Your genitals can shape shift into the form of a same-sized zebra for the duration of the last iTunes song you purchased.
- Your can coax your genitals to sing with a saucer of warm milk, but they're only sing racist white power hate songs.
- The ability to accelerate the rate of your skin cells death and reproduction to the point where you can visibly shed dust and dander and scabs and scar tissue.
- The ability to miss any note or speech tone you sing or say; you sound like a teenagers voice cracking through a malfunctioning auto tune.
- Your saliva is a natural aphrodisiac for hornets.
- Unless you keep moving, everyone else's face mirrors your own.
- Any Xbox you buy red-rings. Even the slims.
- Playstations and Nintendo's too.
- Using soap just makes you dirtier.
- Every time you wake up, you excrete a distributed 300lbs of clear gelatin, unidentifiable save for your DNA.
- You can liquify food with a concentrated glare, but only if you really want to eat it.
- Whenever you flex your muscles, you emit a very convincing horse whinney.
- While making no sound or smell, everyone in a mile KNOWS - with DIRE episimological certitude - when you fart.