Vacation tips for England

[Colour Scientist]

Fine you can have one bag, but I swear to god we better not run out ourselves this time.

Snip.

Snip.

I always knew that I couldn't compare to the sexy potatoes.

Just be grateful we got rid of Monaghan.

Couldn't we have offloaded Limerick or Talbot Street or something?

There's a really cheap pizza place on Talbot street, I eat there a lot when I'm broke. I'd have to renew my passport to eat there. And if we give them Limerick they'll take credit for the Rubberbandits. You got to think these things true, what place offers absolutely nothing of value to the world? Not that it has bad elements but still did some measure of good for the world, we're talking straight up pointless. Monaghan.

They have nice accents though.

Maybe we could give them Louth. Then they might unwittingly take Gerry Adams.

I don't know, if we straight up give him to the Brits he might get a bit shooty.

This is true but he won't be our problem then.

We just have to keep him calm until Louth is at a safe distance.

We can distract him with trampolines.

 

[Little Fish]

Fine you can have one bag, but I swear to god we better not run out ourselves this time.

Snip.

Snip.

I always knew that I couldn't compare to the sexy potatoes.

Just be grateful we got rid of Monaghan.

Couldn't we have offloaded Limerick or Talbot Street or something?

There's a really cheap pizza place on Talbot street, I eat there a lot when I'm broke. I'd have to renew my passport to eat there. And if we give them Limerick they'll take credit for the Rubberbandits. You got to think these things true, what place offers absolutely nothing of value to the world? Not that it has bad elements but still did some measure of good for the world, we're talking straight up pointless. Monaghan.

They have nice accents though.

Maybe we could give them Louth. Then they might unwittingly take Gerry Adams.

Hey Now you said he could stay with you guys, its not our fault you didn't ask for how long. Plus the only answer is Donegal then we'll at least have the full north collection.

On another note if you could make it over to Northern Ireland the north coast is very nice plus the giants causeway.

 

[Little Fish]

Fine you can have one bag, but I swear to god we better not run out ourselves this time.

Snip.

Snip.

I always knew that I couldn't compare to the sexy potatoes.

Just be grateful we got rid of Monaghan.

Couldn't we have offloaded Limerick or Talbot Street or something?

There's a really cheap pizza place on Talbot street, I eat there a lot when I'm broke. I'd have to renew my passport to eat there. And if we give them Limerick they'll take credit for the Rubberbandits. You got to think these things true, what place offers absolutely nothing of value to the world? Not that it has bad elements but still did some measure of good for the world, we're talking straight up pointless. Monaghan.

They have nice accents though.

Maybe we could give them Louth. Then they might unwittingly take Gerry Adams.

Hey Now you said he could stay with you guys, its not our fault you didn't ask for how long. Plus the only answer is Donegal then we'll at least have the full north collection.

On another note if you could make it over to Northern Ireland the north coast is very nice plus the giants causeway.

 

[Little Fish]

Fine you can have one bag, but I swear to god we better not run out ourselves this time.

Snip.

Snip.

I always knew that I couldn't compare to the sexy potatoes.

Just be grateful we got rid of Monaghan.

Couldn't we have offloaded Limerick or Talbot Street or something?

There's a really cheap pizza place on Talbot street, I eat there a lot when I'm broke. I'd have to renew my passport to eat there. And if we give them Limerick they'll take credit for the Rubberbandits. You got to think these things true, what place offers absolutely nothing of value to the world? Not that it has bad elements but still did some measure of good for the world, we're talking straight up pointless. Monaghan.

They have nice accents though.

Maybe we could give them Louth. Then they might unwittingly take Gerry Adams.

Hey Now you said he could stay with you guys, its not our fault you didn't ask for how long. Plus the only answer is Donegal then we'll at least have the full north collection.

On another note if you could make it over to Northern Ireland the north coast is very nice plus the giants causeway.

 

[Little Fish]

Sorry got a bit excited there with the 3 posts

 

[Colour Scientist]

We'll organise a Bee Gees reunion show, and when he's leading his double life as Barry Gibb that's when we'll make the deal.

He's not going to be happy,

I hope your cheap pizza is worth all of this.

Sorry got a bit excited there with the 3 posts

You blew it.

 

[Colour Scientist]

We'll organise a Bee Gees reunion show, and when he's leading his double life as Barry Gibb that's when we'll make the deal.

He's not going to be happy,

I hope your cheap pizza is worth all of this.

Sorry got a bit excited there with the 3 posts

You blew it.

It's a fiver for a pizza, chips and a can of coke. I'd give Britain my mother before I'd give them Talbot street.

Five quid?

What is this magical place?

Normally when I walk through Talbot Street, I can't look at anything for fear of accidentally making eye contact with someone.

 

[Barbas]

If you're coming down to the Isle of Wight, why not stop off in Dorset [http://www.visit-dorset.com/] on the way? We're right next to Wight and have have some of the best classic English countryside in the country here and a coastline so spectacular the UN designated it a world heritage site [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jurassic_Coast]. Plus all the cider you can drink! I swear we're not all bumpkins... okay, most of us are..

I remember Dorset. Specifically, I remember racism, a depressing number of tractors and Wurzel lookalikes and more chavs than I ever remember seeing in most London boroughs I visited. If you can get past that and the stench of exploded cows, people tell me it's a lovely part of England. Places can change a lot over a few years, though - Birmingham airport used to be clean and inviting, I'm told.

OT: Don't look at anyone, don't talk to anyone, don't touch anything or smile at a police officer, just SPEND YOUR MONEY AND F- Remember to mind your Ps and Qs, exercise polite selective hearing and vision on the subway and other public transport, mind out for rapist taxi drivers and don't ever consider driving through London under any circumstances. If you're in London, by the way, there should be an entertaining man ranting about Christ outside one of the bigger history museums - the museums are fantastic, by the way. Plan your train journeys and get tickets as far ahead in advance as you can - they can get really expensive if you don't.

 

[Little Fish]

We'll organise a Bee Gees reunion show, and when he's leading his double life as Barry Gibb that's when we'll make the deal.

He's not going to be happy,

I hope your cheap pizza is worth all of this.

Sorry got a bit excited there with the 3 posts

You blew it.

It's a fiver for a pizza, chips and a can of coke. I'd give Britain my mother before I'd give them Talbot street.

Five quid?

What is this magical place?

Normally when I walk through Talbot Street, I can't look at anything for fear of accidentally making eye contact with someone.

I know after years of lurking on here I trip the first time I try and join in damn it. is it too late to sign the transfer papers on Talbot street we re already used to walking round looking at our feet and you cant argue with those prices

 

[Colour Scientist]

Star Pizza, it's near the end of Talbot street so you can make a quick getaway if needed, so you might not even get stabbed when you go there.

Eye contact is not the worst thing that can happen on Talbot street. I once saw a homeless guy peeing on the footpath. Not in a corner, not even facing a wall. In the middle of the footpath, lad out, going for it.

I don't know, this sounds like some sort of trap.

If I go in search of five quid pizza after a night out and get shanked, I'm going to blame you.

Ha! You have to kind of respect his brevity.

Maybe.

I know after years of lurking on here I trip the first time I try and join in damn it.

You tried, maybe next time. XD

 

[The Lunatic]

An important thing with England, is to use the rail services.

You can get pretty much from one side of the country to the other within about three hours, so, travel around a lot. Go to Windermere, Cornwall, York, all that kind of stuff. You'll experience significantly more than just staying in one place.

Also, the train is quite cheap, but, you have to book in advance with these things.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Star Pizza, it's near the end of Talbot street so you can make a quick getaway if needed, so you might not even get stabbed when you go there.

Eye contact is not the worst thing that can happen on Talbot street. I once saw a homeless guy peeing on the footpath. Not in a corner, not even facing a wall. In the middle of the footpath, lad out, going for it.

I don't know, this sounds like some sort of trap.

If I go in search of five quid pizza after a night out and get shanked, I'm going to blame you.

Ha! You have to kind of respect his brevity.

They close at 11, it's still Talbot street, you don't stay open paast pub hours on Talbot street. Also, we'd be given up like 50 Guineys. I've not counted but I'm pretty sure there's at least 50 Guineys on Talbot street. Where do you expect me to buy my assorted brick-a-brack?

I haven't ventured into one yet.

What do they actually sell or do they even know?

 

[Albino Boo]

]Star Pizza, it's near the end of Talbot street so you can make a quick getaway if needed, so you might not even get stabbed when you go there.

Eye contact is not the worst thing that can happen on Talbot street. I once saw a homeless guy peeing on the footpath. Not in a corner, not even facing a wall. In the middle of the footpath, lad out, going for it.

Sorry about that, but we will find Prince Andrew a job one day.

 

[JoJo]

If you're coming down to the Isle of Wight, why not stop off in Dorset [http://www.visit-dorset.com/] on the way? We're right next to Wight and have have some of the best classic English countryside in the country here and a coastline so spectacular the UN designated it a world heritage site [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jurassic_Coast]. Plus all the cider you can drink! I swear we're not all bumpkins... okay, most of us are..

I remember Dorset. Specifically, I remember racism, a depressing number of tractors and Wurzel lookalikes and more chavs than I ever remember seeing in most London boroughs I visited. If you can get past that and the stench of exploded cows, people tell me it's a lovely part of England. Places can change a lot over a few years, though - Birmingham airport used to be clean and inviting, I'm told.

Did you go through Boscombe? That might be the answer to your chav problem, not sure about the racism, there's very few minorities domiciled here so it's difficult to judge. What few minorities we have seem to be well-integrated though, mixed race couples are abound among those that are here. Now, people down here can be quite insular I admit but it's nothing that will trouble the OP if he comes through here on a day trip. As for the Wurzels...

Spoiler

Okay, they looks scarily like a lot of people I know

 

[mitchell271]

Bring a coat and always prepare for rain. You think I'm kidding because of the stereotype, but I'm not. When I was there for 2 weeks, it rained every goddamn day.

 

[Robert B. Marks]

When my wife and I visited England in May 2013, we found that the weather tended to follow a pattern: cloudy and possibly a bit drizzling in the morning, but by 2:00 in the afternoon the sun was out and shining. Now, maybe that was just an exceptional couple of weeks, but it did seem to hold. I imagine it's something to do with the time of year, in the end.

 

[Flames66]

Where you live doesn't incorporate tax into prices? How odd. Only place I can think of around here that does that is Costco.

Not here in Canada, and as far as I know, not in the United States as well. Let's just say it was something of a revelation when my wife and I saw it - definitely better than having the sales tax added to the price tag after.

That will be a problem if I ever visit. If the price is not what it says on the label I refuse to pay as I will not be deceived by hidden extras. I may have to get someone else to do my shopping.

To elaborate on the tipping thing though - tipping around where I live (Liverpool, come visit the city while you're here!) usually comes in two forms that I can think of. Specifically taxis and restaurants. With taxis its usually good manners to round up whatever the cost is to within something reasonable; usually around 10% or just whatever sounds good so if your taxi was £8.20 you'd probably give £9 and tell them to keep the change, or if it was £14.50 you might give them £16. Something like that. I'm not sure how widespread that is though.

I've never heard of this, I don't think it happens in the south. If I ever get a taxi I will not pay a penny more than what the meter says and I expect change.

OT: If you're interested in the British "alternative" scene I would recommend visiting the southern counties. There are many good places to visit in Devon and Cornwall. Have a gander around Totnes, Plymouth, Portsmouth, Exeter and have a nice walk on Dartmoor while you're in the area.

Spoiler: pix

Bring a coat and always prepare for rain. You think I'm kidding because of the stereotype, but I'm not. When I was there for 2 weeks, it rained every goddamn day.

This is good advice. Even if the forecast says sunny all day, bring a coat or umbrella. A lightweight coat is generally better as the wind will often destroy cheap umbrellas (you will often find their mangled cadavers poking out of bins).

Spoiler: Brollies

 

[Colour Scientist]

If I ever get a taxi I will not pay a penny more than what the meter says and I expect change.

That's a bit miserly, isn't it?

 

[ryderawsome]

Divide your time between London and Edinburgh. Everything in between is, lets just call it a genetic bottleneck.

 

[Colour Scientist]

If I ever get a taxi I will not pay a penny more than what the meter says and I expect change.

That's a bit miserly, isn't it?

Not as miserly as you've been with your quote tags. Or something. You've got the wrong guy!

[sub][sub]Shit.[/sub][/sub]

Oh well, no going back now, I'll have to run with it.

You cheap bastard!