Duke Nukem
Sure, the women, the muscles, all that is nice and cool looking...however, at the end of the day, being Duke means that you're shorter according to that asshole father, plus you wait forever to actually be released, the butt of jokes up to the release, then criticized hardcore for looking like shit, being stiff as a board...and other horrible things
I agree with the Japanese guy from Saint's Row 2...that was...that scene was brutal.
I'd also have to say that being Kratos would suck, all the shit he goes through just to have his and everyone else's world fucked up. But from that game Cronos has it worse, tortured through the years, having a temple on his back, then his nails ripped off and killed...plus having your kids and grandkids hate you for being a dick...almost makes me feel sorry for him