Ebola is one of the least infectious viruses in the modern age. On average, a person sick with ebola will only infect 1.5 to 2 people, and that's in Africa. Here, the risk is nearly negligible, since contact with other people's bodily fluids - the only way it can spread - is already quite rare. People made a lot of hullabaloo about some people with ebola entering the United States, but those people never infected anyone. Ebola is a rare disease that is only transmissible while its symptoms are noticeable, so the only time you have to worry about it is when you literally see somebody with it.
So why is there so much panic?
Because fear, unlike ebola, is highly transmissible. It spreads via airwave transmission, and many news stations become carriers. People thousands of miles away can be infected just by flipping through channels at an inopportune time. And some stations actually infect themselves on purpose in order to spread it, since those infected are more vulnerable to suggestions such as, 'this is all Obama's fault'.
So far, the only vaccine, actually informing people properly, has proven to be only somewhat effective. People with naturally deficient intelligence systems may reject the vaccine, which results in hallucinations that, for some reason, the CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL is lying to them in order to (why not) spread ebola more.
Fear is the true disease here. And we need to put a stop to it.
Symptoms of fear include: brain damage, hearing loss, blindness, paranoia, loss of respect from peers, and a compulsive urge to bomb small militant factions that couldn't assault their way out of a paper bag. Do not take Fox News if you are suffering from fear, as this has been proven to inflate symptoms. Recommended treatments include Animal Planet and CNN, television's leading providers of adorable cat videos.
So why is there so much panic?
Because fear, unlike ebola, is highly transmissible. It spreads via airwave transmission, and many news stations become carriers. People thousands of miles away can be infected just by flipping through channels at an inopportune time. And some stations actually infect themselves on purpose in order to spread it, since those infected are more vulnerable to suggestions such as, 'this is all Obama's fault'.
So far, the only vaccine, actually informing people properly, has proven to be only somewhat effective. People with naturally deficient intelligence systems may reject the vaccine, which results in hallucinations that, for some reason, the CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL is lying to them in order to (why not) spread ebola more.
Fear is the true disease here. And we need to put a stop to it.
Symptoms of fear include: brain damage, hearing loss, blindness, paranoia, loss of respect from peers, and a compulsive urge to bomb small militant factions that couldn't assault their way out of a paper bag. Do not take Fox News if you are suffering from fear, as this has been proven to inflate symptoms. Recommended treatments include Animal Planet and CNN, television's leading providers of adorable cat videos.