Weakest protagonist EVAR!

[GloatingSwine]

Fuck all of that. PJ from Ace Combat Zero. That guy was a total loser. Whiny fawning fanboy when he gets to be your wingman! What the hell is that? "It's an honor to fly as Galm's number 2?" What a fuckin' pussy! He probably wanted to carry my child or some such nonsense. Maybe, if he had spent less time fawning all over me, and flew his fucking plane, Pixy wouldn't have had to shoot his ass out of the sky. I almost didn't want to fight him after that. Yeah, he was my enemy at that point, but he did such a huge favor by killing PJ for me that I wasinclined to let him do whatever he wanted after that.

"Nope, sorry sir, never saw Pixy launch that nuke. Must have happened after I left.."

Yeah, but Pixy was one of those "I'll kill everyone so they can't have any more wars" logic defying nihilist tosspots, and they really hack me off, so he was ripe for a whooping as well. And, at least there's one of PJ, not like in Ace 5, where there are no less than four sycophantic hangers on who, at least, live up to their professed pacifism (they're supposed to be professional soldiers, remember) by never doing anything useful and watching Blaze do all the work.

At least Shamrock actually fights, even up to using ADMMs if you give him them.

 

[second only to The One]

Mario. You'd think that after Bowser has kidnapped the princess so many times, he'd finally kill the dude, but noooo.

wouldnt that make bowser lame and not mario?

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

im tempted to say DK but well no-one can beat a giant monkey even if you do have a magical hand that shoots bees *glares at yhatze*. But im going to say Marcus Fenix what is so great about hiding behind a wall (i meen if you cant take a sniper rifle to the head like a real man dont go to war) pop up and shoot nor seeing anything all too special about him

 

[KaynSlamdyke]

I'm not sure I'll ever agree with this thread's principles.

I mean, weak protagonists are part of what makes my gaming experience fun. It's fun being a fairly weak martial artist with only a stick, a camera and a watch with a crossbow with all the strength of a pea shooter to bring down a galactic conspiracy. It's fun being a nerd, a thick biker and a slightly insane science student as they stop lab experiments messing with the space time continuum. And yes, its fun playing a Janitor in space.

This is all because THOSE protagonists grow on you and turn into thier own unique brand of badass throughout the course of the game. Its the kind of badass you'd like to see paired up with Stalone and Schwarzenegger in the same movie and have them praised by the critics for being a convincing, larger than life character who brings thier own unique brand of badass to the movie.

Now there are a lot of times I feel like I could have done the job better myself than the protagonists when they mess up, but this just adds to thier character - no ones perfect, everyoen makes mistakes, and yet after all that they end up saving the world anyway. No one character I have ever seen in a video game that I've had to control has been so out of control of thier situation that I personally feel I could have done a better job of thier game if I was airlifted into thier place. They're either so pumped full of steroids they could arm wrestle God to a standstill after eating a machine gun bullet sandwich, or have too many redeeming qualities to replace thier macho that I simply couldn't match.

...

Okay there's the entire cast of Resident Evil... but otherwise my point stands.

 

[portuga-man]

Squall

 

[nightmare_gorilla]

this is one question where freeman is a great answer

freeman, weakest protagonist ever

 

[boyitsme95]

The Chick from Portal, without that portal gun, she is a tiny girl who was easily kidnapped to take place in this exparament. Think about it...

 

[KaynSlamdyke]

The Chick from Portal, without that portal gun, she is a tiny girl who was easily kidnapped to take place in this exparament. Think about it...

Yes. I am thinking about it.
But then again, I'm also thinking "Sam Fischer, with no equipment". Or "Mario, with no Mushrooms". Or "Solid Snake, on a desert island with no weapons, blindfolded, hogtied, with his arms surgically removed"

You can't remove protagonists from their game settings and from thier equipment. It's part of them. And likewise, part of Chell is her ability to jump from great heights and land on silly feet springs and navigate using portal guns, just as much as Snakes is the ability to scavenge for weapons and infiltrate bases.

This has really got to be about where the protagonists were so weak at what they did they could have been played by Blocker Lemmings and still be presented as doing a better job...

 

[BlackWatch]

Kreia KOTOR2, disabled old woman with an attitude problem, get a prosthetic hand love i know it was a long time ago but in your galaxy they do pretty good ones so they tell me. At least if you could hold a rifle you'd be of some use

 

[OneHP]

The L-shaped block in Tetris. Most other blocks allow you to plan ahead and prepare terrain for whatever comes next, but with the L-shaped block you are lucky if you can squeeze it anywhere without making holes or a downright mess. And there's two of them!

Er what, the L shaped block is a life saver, it's a brilliant substitute for the 4 in a column block when you really need to clear some rows. Worst block has to be the square one, it always pops up when you've got a higgly-piggly top row with no-where to put it.

 

[Asymptote Angel]

Jango Fett from Star Wars: Bounty Hunter has to be up there. Then again, his controllability makes me think that he has little to no control over his body, so maybe it isn't his fault.

And whatever that guy from Magna Carta: Tears of Blood's name was. That game just...ugh.

 

[dmc0419]

I'd say its Tidus from FFX. I don't think I need to explain why, right?

I'd have to say Tidus is topped by Vaan in FFXII, they're the same person only in addition to everything Tidus brings to the table Vaan is also completely irrelevant to the game's story.

*typo

 

[ProjectileVomit]

speaking of Samus, isnt Link the same case every game? You have to collect the same FUCking master sword and bomb and other items everytime.

 

[Poida12]

I'm thinking Jesper the Swede from Rockstar's Table Tennis. He hit harder than anyone else and lost all the time because you just drop shotted him and he'd miss or hit long. He lacks the ability to 'lean forward' - nuff said. Of course the same applied if you played as him. You just hit hard and hope the ai doesn't beat you.

But if you would like a more serious one how about your sim in the sims? Can't do anything on it's own. Or your city in sim city? again needs hand holding all the way. that is the point of the game but it does make them weak. And don't say a city isn't a protagonist. Without the city all you have is sim um...game packaging? So the city is essential and the main protaganist.

Or how about Max Payne? He needs to slow down time in every fight to come out on top. Cheater! It's easy to win in an unfair fight. Very weak.

I did this to make people think outside the box a bit - there are more types of games out there besides shooters, rpg's and platformers. Though i still think they are all weak protaganists.

 

[Poida12]

All the one's i mentioned i mean.

 

[Colodomoko]

I'm not to sure about the weakest (somewhere around a lvl 1 priest in WoW) but the dumbest has to be Samus. She looses those power ups at the beginning of every game and quests to find them again!

Same, but if I had to chose it would be Pong guy. Last E3 he got pwned by Master Chief with the burst fire rifle. LOL, there both games made by the same company!

 

[Colodomoko]

Or how about Max Payne? He needs to slow down time in every fight to come out on top. Cheater! It's easy to win in an unfair fight. Very weak.

Okay, now this is why people are catching the "Stupid Virus".

 

[Darklink2009]

All wrong!

Slippy from Star Fox 64.

He's a pilot, yet manages to get himself knocked out so hard that he crashes into a planet that is at least an AU away.

 

[TomNook]

speaking of Samus, isnt Link the same case every game? You have to collect the same FUCking master sword and bomb and other items everytime.

Most of the time its not the same Link, and if it is there is usually a good explanation as to why he doesn't have his stuff.

 

[Erana]

Squall

How is having the most powerful attack in a major game franchaise weak? Please, support your reasoning.

As was said before, characters in Survival/horror games are pathetic. Which is kinda sad, since they are usually the most realistic.

Anyhow, back to pokemon:
Any baby pokemon are weak, but I must vote Luvdisc to be the alltime low. only one stage, and no redeeming stats, abilities, or movesets.

If we were to be more general, however, I would have to say that the Tonberry GF in Final Fantasy 8 was pretty pathetic, especially considering the devistating force that is the tonberry species.