Well that date was weird...

[deathzero021]

Lmao awesome read. very weird indeed. a lot of self-obsessed body builders are boring people like that. I did have a friend who liked working out, he was cool but guess what he did every day? Work out and talk about his car. The conversations i had with him were so lame. As much as he was a cool guy, he was boring as hell.

I don;t think i'd be able to go out with someone random, through fear of bad situations like that
i guess let that be a lesson xD

 

[Whateveralot]

Oh god, the memories this brings up.

Alright, where do I start...

It was nearly a year and a half back, I was on a train. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but somehow we had a little, really enjoyable conversation and before she left the train, we exchanged phone numbers.

So we talked on the phone, by text, etc. for quite a few times when I decide to go to her place (she lived quite a bit (around 50km) away at the time), so I went there and...

...yeah. It was really, really awkward. As if all the conversations we had before didn't matter. I felt really uncomforatble. That's not all, but we were not alike at all. I'm the random, creative type and she's the steady, reading type. I study business and marketing, she studied english literature.

But because of the distance we had quite a few things planned (cooking together, seeing a movie, going shopping together) and it took FOR EVER. It was laughably horrible.


I will always refer to that time as "the faildate".

 

[chaos order]

unfortunately for me I AM THE WEIRD AWKWARD DATE. If you go on a date with me i guarantee that it will be filled with long awkward silences mixed with me avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Wanna date me? We can avoid eye contact together and get matching sunglasses so we can make even less eye contact!

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs.

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

 

[Proverbial Jon]

Lol the OP's story is so freaking wierd....

I think the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me as a guy chatting me up for ages and then suddenly acting like nothing had ever happened.

I liked him so I was pretty hurt. I would have just put it down to me being 'not good enough' or whatever but he was the one coming on strong. Then one day he just acted like we had always been just friends and denied he had ever said anything romantic to me. It was like I was talking to a completely different person.

It was really confusing especially since I had only just gotten out of an abusive relationship. We are good friends now and I try not to hold it against him but I still feel rather bitter about it.

That's kinda similar to my current situation...

There's a girl I work with, a few years younger than me. We've known each other for two years and we see each other at work every fortnight (she's part time.) Anyway we've always got on really well, laughed and joked and sometimes shared personal problems/stories etc. We're also quite flirty with each other, she'll often lean in really close to look at some paperwork with me or find a reason to touch me, albeit in a friendly manner.

So about a month ago I work up the courage to ask her out. She split with her boyfriend about two weeks ago and just started the whole "I'm single now" moaning, so I figured it might be a hint. I ask her out rather awkwardly and she laughs and says yes. She looks really quite happy about it. She says that she needs to get back to me on a date when she'll be free because she's very busy, which I know to be true. I text her later that evening saying how I hoped I hadn't jeopardised our friendship and she says it's still very much intact. Sounds good.

Anyway, 2 weeks pass and I've heard nothing. I haven't prompted her because I didn't want to be pushy. Our working weekend comes around again and she says nothing and acts just like I never said anything to her. At the end of the weekend, rather miffed about her indifference, I ask if she wants to go out with me sometime that week, trying to be more specific and pin an actual date down. I even casually say "if you don't want to, just let me know." Again she says she'll get back to me, this time I should know that night. Again nothing happens and every time I see her she acts like I never asked her out. We're still friends, she's still flirty around me and I'm totally clueless!

Now you might all say that she's just trying to spare my feelings and not tell me that she finds me repulsive. But she's the kindest and most honest person I know, partly the reason I took a chance and asked her out in the first place, because I knew she wouldn't lie to me. Some intuition I have, huh? It's quite baffling. Stranger still, while she was still with her previous boyfriend she once said how she'd like to "go out somewhere with me." I said it wasn't a good idea on account of her bf and she said that he "didn't have to know." I nipped that one in the bud at the time but none of these actions seem to add up.

 

[The_Waspman]

He picks me up and says he needs to do some shopping. I agree to go along, and on the way he only speaks about his tons of money that he has and the expensive items he spends it on. I'm a college student living in a box-like apartment eating raman and at times rats when they venture in, money is a rather rare thing for me. As we get to the store, and about ten minutes in he states "Oh man, we need to get matching bathrobes! For, like, when you sleep over at my place!"

twenty minutes into dinner he exclaims he wants to "get serious, no lies up in here bro". first date mind you. I attempted to make small talk while trying to get a hold of friends, and he insisted on bringing me to his house.

Beautiful home, but his only furniture was a couch, tv, beer pong table, and a work out bench. So as I uncomfortably watched "Office Space" on his lonely couch in the dark unfurnished room, he proceeded to place his body on my lap while his friends worked out and did manly 'dude" things, whatever that may be. (Insert manly grunting noises while doing push ups. Whatever you desire). Pretty sure one was making peach cobbler as well. Maybe with his muscles, but it was happening. Damn he was enthusiastic about stirring.

Needless to say I have been avoiding the countless texts he has sent me about dating. Although I have informed him I was not interested for various reasons he still has not gotten the hint. I suppose I deserve this for going out with a random dude.

Topic: So Escapists, make me feel better. Tell me about an interesting, awkward, entertaining date you've experienced. :3

Ok, just an FYI, if a guy ever says anything like this to you on a first date, you absolutely, under no circumstances, DON'T go to his house.

If I were you, I'd skip all the 'nice' options, and go with what someone above me said, and take out a restraining order on this creepy fucker.

Back on Topic (ish) I don't really have any interesting, amusing, awkward OR entertaining dateing stories. I rarely even get to the stage of asking a girl out, through a combination of extreme self loathing and... well, actually, its just self loathing. Though I have been interested in a girl very much in the same position as the OP. Six long years I carried a torch for her. Granted, when I first met her, she had a deadbeat boyfriend who was cheating on her, and I have asked her out several times over the years (though they were like, the worst asking outs of all time), but this year I managed to almost seal the deal.

Turns out it wasn't gonna happen though. Last time I saw her she told me she'd been seeing someone new for six months. Even though I asked her out five months prior to that and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone. To top it all off, she then said 'well, take care of yourself', which we all know is code for 'goodbye forever.'

I dont have fun dating stories, just fun being turned down stories. One girl I asked out said she couldn't go out with me because I was 'too healthy', dunno how that works.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

Snip

I'm condensing my reply as much as possible here to avoid an analysis; cut the leash and find someone who wants to be with you. Better you do this now before she starts bemoaning about another guy she actually wants to sleep with and emotionally harms you.

Cut. The. Leash.

 

[Jynthor]

Well that's just creepy.
Personally I've never had such a weird date.
Actually I've never been on a date. Now I'm sad.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Well that was certainly horrifying OP...sounded like it anyway...I would have tried talking my way out of going to the guy's house honestly.

Generally I'm the awkward one when it comes to dating. I don't know how to start conversations (as you may have noticed from the number of threads I haven't started here) and when I do talk about things I tend to take the subject into strange, horrible directions (Oh no, I don't really want kids: I'd rather just beat strange ones and not have to take them home after) etc. Steady girlfriend now though so the awkwardness has subsided what with familiarity.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

unfortunately for me I AM THE WEIRD AWKWARD DATE. If you go on a date with me i guarantee that it will be filled with long awkward silences mixed with me avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Wanna date me? We can avoid eye contact together and get matching sunglasses so we can make even less eye contact!

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs.

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Don't be crazy! the FBI are on craig'slist and ebay just sucks.

 

[chaos order]

unfortunately for me I AM THE WEIRD AWKWARD DATE. If you go on a date with me i guarantee that it will be filled with long awkward silences mixed with me avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Wanna date me? We can avoid eye contact together and get matching sunglasses so we can make even less eye contact!

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs.

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Don't be crazy! the FBI are on craig'slist and ebay just sucks.

its good to know that theres people like you to look out for me or who knows what would happen

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

unfortunately for me I AM THE WEIRD AWKWARD DATE. If you go on a date with me i guarantee that it will be filled with long awkward silences mixed with me avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Wanna date me? We can avoid eye contact together and get matching sunglasses so we can make even less eye contact!

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs.

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Don't be crazy! the FBI are on craig'slist and ebay just sucks.

its good to know that theres people like you to look out for me or who knows what would happen

I hear the FBI perform human sacrifices on their prisoners.

 

[bluepilot]

hmm...a muscular rich guy wants me long term, buys me stuff and makes peach cobbler...

I would have given him the benefit of the doubt but, meh, I do not have many options open right now

 

[Alaster Angelo]

"Gurl, I just met you (and this is crazy?) and we're on our first date, but I love you so get out of my dreams and into my bed so we can make beautiful muscular babies together.



I am so goddamn rich."


Essentially what I got out of the guy in the OP's story. Luckily, I don't go out with random people, so I don't have any of these stories to share.

 

[Ocelano]

Why on earth would you stay with him so long? I would have ditched him really quickly for how creepy he was being.

I haven't been on any "weird" dates, just uncomfortable ones. And my success rate with asking girls out in person is a whopping 0%. At this point a stranger is about as attractive to me as a blank wall.

At least you've been on dates.

There was this one girl I liked and we hung out often, well often for me anyway maybe we'd meet up once a month maybe twice usually for a movie or something sometimes the cinema sometimes my place, anyway I thought I really liked this girl because I didn't have the same usual awkwardness that I do with most other members of my own species, so I worked up my courage and Valentines' day 2011 I asked her if she would go out with me.

Now I am sure you've heard of the infamous friend zone, well I got worse I got Bro-zoned. She literally told me that she thought of me like a brother. we left on what I thought were good terms and I sent her an apology email for the awkward situation I'd put her into the next day. Apart from the occasional very polite exchange when she goes through my register for smokes she hasn't spoken to me since. I've tried issuing some invites for movies the same kind of thing we used to do but to no response.

That was the closest I have ever come to an actual date before or since so as far as this thread goes I am tapped

 

[EeveeElectro]

Run, sis!

To be fair, I'd be too awkward and shy to tell him to piss off too, sounds like something I'd do.
I can guess he's so egotistical that there can't possibly be a girl that doesn't like him! ;o

As for me, I don't "date" as such. As in, I don't arrange to do something with someone other than a boyfriend and I never have in hopes it'd go somewhere.
Years ago (Just before my first serious relationship, must have been 14) there was a guy my friend introduced me to who I used to speak to on MSN and we liked each other quite a lot. He lived just down the road from me so one night we arranged to take our dogs for a walk at about 8/9pm when it was dark.
Well I met him and he was the campest person I'd ever met at that point. He insisted he was straight which I found hard to believe, but just thought he might have been very camp. Spent about an hour together and kissed a few times, I kept thinking "Is this even doing anything for him??!" We had a 'thing' for a couple of months. On reflection, he was a terrible person.
We stopped speaking years ago but I remember sometime after when he tried making amends, he told me he had sex with a guy but was still insisting he wasn't gay XD I think he's finally come out of the closet now, I just hope it wasn't me that turned him gay!

Another time I was in town with a boyfriend and we were sat on a patch of grass, laying down and cuddling for a bit. We started taking pictures of both of us, and this Asian guy in his late 20s/30s who I didn't know, sat down with us with the biggest smile on his face. He was casually talking to us like he'd known us for years and asked us to show him the pictures we took. I think he asked if he could get in a picture too...
He was like "Awww, look how cute you are! You two make a nice couple. This is nice. You two are nice. You are always nice."
We grabbed our things, excused ourselves and ran to the train station. I was kinda worried in case he followed me home e_e

 

[jthm]

I went on a date with a girl from the internet who cut geometric symbols into her arm, used a fake picture online, had untreated bipolar disorder, sold her meds to other students and had a boyfriend. All of these things I had no idea about until showing up at her front door.

 

[Juan Cantu]

The weirdest date i had came from a girl I saw everyday in the bus to school, we talked a lot in the road but we were not in the same classroom (she was a year younger) I usually dont make first moves because of my "experiences" but then one day she asked me out, she told me a local band was playing and that she wanted me to go with her.

I didn´t think it would be bad to go out so go i did, for starters, I got lost really bad (I had no car back then) and It took me like 3 hours to get to the adress, when I finally arrived I couldn't believe what I saw... it was a church and I'm like... hmmm im not sure about this (I'm not that big of a religious fan) I decided to enter and found her on some kind of reception, where she took my cellphone number and some other data (which I faked obviously) and she told me to wait for her on the first row of the church.

It couldnt have been worse, it wasnt even a regular church where you just stay quiet and get over with but a kinda cult or some sort of that where everyone was shouting and jumping and weird stuff like throwing themselves on the floor (including the girl that invited me) the whole time I was just sitting thinking (oh my god i'm going to die).

Later on the "band" came in and it was some kind of metal christ church music? I don't even know how to categorize it, again they were all jumping and screaming and saying god gave us limbs to praise him and weird stuff, the worst part came when the pastor (or whatever) told every "newcomer" to stand up and go to a room behind (I was really really distressed as i tend to prefer to avoid attention) but the girl pushed me and shouted HE TOO HE TOO so i got pulled to a room where the pastor said he welcomed us and gave us a lollipop...

inmediatly after that the people started going out so i ran, threw the lollipop to the garbage and tried to erase the memories.

Never talked to that girl again.

Captch: how are you.
pretty fine actually.

 

[game-lover]

Dude... weird.

Fortunately or not, depending, I've not gone on a proper date so I have no stories to tell either way.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

Something about Uggs... No idea what kind of shoe those are but they sound unpleasant.

that was....really....really biazre

I men uggs? he wants to buy you ugg boots? (ugg boots are sheepskin boots, like slippers...an Australian thing)

Australian? Sheepskin? They're more vaguely soft leathery looking boots with a fur trim at the top. In Britain anyway.

On topic: Well I once went to meet a girl who for some reason brought her friend along. And then immediately got in a weird mood and stopped talking to me. I ended up talking to her friend instead 'cos it was getting awkward. And then I kinda... got on with her friend even better than I did with her.
That was an interesting day.

I don't tend to go on a lot of dates though.
I usually prefer to just straight up invite people over. It's easier to get to know someone in a comfortable environment, where you have some privacy, and you're surrounded by all the things which are significant to you. The last time I had a 'date' we snuggled up for a while with a film. The film was pretty bad so we ended up laughing relentlessly at it. Then she noticed the bass guitar and asked me to play, so I did some of the stuff I've written.

...she liked it.
Ahem.

Anyways, due to this tendency I've not had a lot of bad dates at all.

 

[daveman247]

snip

Damn, sounded more like a recruitment than a date XD

Good on you for not giving real details or licking the lollipop.