Test Drive Unlimited: Solarpunk Crown
Was bought with the researched understanding it was already shit. Or more generously, released too early in unfinished state? It's also always online and I hate those fucking things so wtf am I even doing? Don't answer, don't validate that neurotic bullshit with a second's thought. The game must undergo preliminary vibe check!
Unsure whether or not to start on snarky joke about the title being test drive alongisde the game being beta test drive or has the time already been wasted pondering the matter? Can't dither, let's move on. Solar is the word of the day, month and generational displaced indigenous trauma it seems on this free roma island. Money? Solar bucks! Points? Solar points! Friends? Solar friends! Loo-roll? Solar poops! I had to double check where the game said it was placed cause every character so far were extremely sci-fi wealthy Americans "Hong Kong island"? Hmm. Probably best not ask where last population at then.
Game works though! Looks... unimpressive. But not offensively so. Apart from the glistening porcelain dolls it insists are human characters, animated at times hilariously - or specifically the one time the sci-fi wealthy woman walked towards her private sci-fi chopper with a strut am struggling to find words to describe. Ketamine Ace Ventura?
Controls...ok! A cute lil radial wheel to toggle your vehicle extremities is nice, if pointless.
Connection? Cant say for sure. Power cuts been happening a lot round here lately so everything's been inconsistent. It hasn't disconnected on its own so far at least.
Frame rate? Uh, it's ,uh, you know, it's trying its best.
Helps forget The Crew Motorsport is clearly the superior product and should be played instead, right now, what the hell are you doing not playing that instead right now? No, sadly not quite. Apart from the new island to explore, it ain't bad, has potential not outside the realm of a few smart patches.