What could have justified Duke Nukem's development time?

[Zaverexus]

I saw this post

The shock with Duke Nukem Forever is that people was curious about what could justify 12 years of development. Turns out there was nothing in it to justify 12 years of development.

and thought I would ask:

What features would a game have to include for you to consider it worth 12 years' wait? Or at least consider it a good use of the time?

Personally, I would wait 12 years for a game that dispensed bacon every time you complete a mission.

 

[baddude1337]

It would have to be bundled with Episode 3, if that ever even gets made.

Inb4anybodyelsemakesthatjoke.

But honestly, unless the developer was actually having troubles and not just sitting on their asses for over a decade its inexcusable.

 

[AdumbroDeus]

It would have to be this: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

To some degree, they have tried to explain the long wait. They really wanted to make the most up to date, absolutely fantastic version of Duke Nukem possible, and whenever they made any headway, an engine changed. It's like that boat analogy that Yahtzee used in the video today.

 

[Thaluikhain]

To build up lots of hype for what would inevitably be a disappointing product?

(Alright, it wouldn't have been inevitable if they'd released it way back when, but as time went on, it would have been clear what was going to happen).

 

[Proteus214]

It would have to be this: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

Pretty much this. World of Warcraft took roughly 10 years to make and the game is massive. 12 years worth of development that produces a true 12 years of depth would be amazing.

 

[Zhukov]

Maybe if they had given it away for free?

Actually, in that case I wouldn't have felt the need to get my $60 worth out of it and would've just said. "Fuck this", after about an hour.

Ohh ohh, maybe if they had payed me $60 to play it?

Hm, no. That wouldn't do it either. I would make more money doing an extra shift at work, and it would be more fun.

...

Oh hey, here's a thought. Maybe if they had made a fun game...?

 

[Saviordd1]

It would have to be this: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

This or...

Maybe if they had given it away for free?

Actually, in that case I wouldn't have felt the need to get my $60 worth out of it and would've just said. "Fuck this", after about an hour.

Ohh ohh, maybe if they had payed me $60 to play it?

Hm, no. That wouldn't do it either. I would make more money doing an extra shift at work, and it would be more fun.

...

Oh hey, here's a thought. Maybe if they had made a fun game...?

This

If they wanted to do well they should have put more effort into it

 

[Human_Sacrifice]

A realistic-but-not-so-realistic-as-to-be-creepy DIY porn game with procedurally generated content according to user input; you set all the variables exactly to your liking, hit "go", and watch the magic unfold. Or for a quickie, choose a default setting, or load one of your previously generated favourites. Or hit the "random" button for extra fun!

 

[XMark]

Stanley "Duke Nukem" Liebowitz is a former professional wrestler, who quit wrestling due to steroids-related health problems back in the 90s. Since then he's been taking his Duke Nukem character into a series of big-budget action movies. While his Duke Nukem character is an over-the-top, one-liner-spouting hyper-masculine action hero, Stanley is actually a timid and shy man in real life. Over his 14-year film career he made some bad movie choices, and starred in one too many box office disasters. His film career in shambles, he sinks into cocaine addiction and depression. The game starts as he's walking onto the set of a low-budget direct-to-DVD action movie when suddenly aliens invade.

He has to face his personal demons and rise above them to survive the alien onslaught. He imagines Duke Nukem as his sidekick, telling him to get up off his ass and fight the aliens whenever he's overcome by his fears. As the game progresses, Duke Nukem appears less often, and Stanley begins to use Duke's one-liners himself.

After fighting through the aliens he arrives at a military-controlled safe zone. He learns that the military is about to launch every nuke they have at the alien mothership to take it down. The only problem is that the aliens have thousands of women kidnapped on the ship. Duke knows that he can't rest in safety. He steals some weapons and escapes from the military safe zone to take the fight to the aliens himself and save the babes before the nukes hit.

To save the women of Los Angeles, he must BECOME Duke Nukem!

 

[Meight08]

Stanley "Duke Nukem" Liebowitz is a former professional wrestler, who quit wrestling due to steroids-related health problems back in the 90s. Since then he's been taking his Duke Nukem character into a series of big-budget action movies. While his Duke Nukem character is an over-the-top, one-liner-spouting hyper-masculine action hero, Stanley is actually a timid and shy man in real life. Over his 14-year film career he made some bad movie choices, and starred in one too many box office disasters. His film career in shambles, he sinks into cocaine addiction and depression. The game starts as he's walking onto the set of a low-budget direct-to-DVD action movie when suddenly aliens invade.

He has to face his personal demons and rise above them to survive the alien onslaught. He imagines Duke Nukem as his sidekick, telling him to get up off his ass and fight the aliens whenever he's overcome by his fears. As the game progresses, Duke Nukem appears less often, and Stanley begins to use Duke's one-liners himself.

After fighting through the aliens he arrives at a military-controlled safe zone. He learns that the military is about to launch every nuke they have at the alien mothership to take it down. The only problem is that the aliens have thousands of women kidnapped on the ship. Duke knows that he can't rest in safety. He steals some weapons and escapes from the military safe zone to take the fight to the aliens himself and save the babes before the nukes hit.

To save the women of Los Angeles, he must BECOME Duke Nukem!

That is a better plot then what they have in the actual game!
How long did you work on it?

 

[XMark]

I just made it up now.

 

[Nickompoop]

If the game made my eyeballs orgasm from the sheer awesomeness of it and it made me breakfast in the morning, it would be worth the wait.

 

[LordLundar]

I just made it up now.

Still probably took longer than the actual game's storyline to conceive.

Start with Duke 3D. Update graphics to 2011 standards. Change nothing else.

Pretty much. There really was no need to go so much into shock value when DN3D's level of satire was sufficient, let alone the gameplay.

 

[A. Manslayer]

I seriously dont care about those twelve years of development and the graphics, well there is certainly room for more, but it could be a lot worse.
I would have been content with a decent game, but got a boring shooter, that desperatly tries to be funny and is mediocre at best.
If they were trying to revive the franchise they should have taken the Serious Sam way of just taking the old game and giving it current generation graphics.

And why the hell would it recharge it the dukes' machoego, to hide like a little girl, when he gets shot? Might be a small complaint, but for me is the biggest flaw apart from being, well, not good.

 

[Condor219]

If the story was somewhere between 200-250 hours long, without including its 150 hours or so of sidequests, all with generally modern graphics, fighting a final boss at the end that was the rough equivalent of trying to punch the planet Jupiter until it faded into oblivion (though Duke would have hit the level cap of 9001 so it wouldn't matter), more pop culture references than a season of Family Guy and Futurama put together, and a minigame arcade with more quality titles than the product of the entire 1980s. Oh, and half of what Yahtzee said back in his first review.

Now THAT, would be worth 12 years of development. Though if they had instead put all their efforts towards, I dunno, curing cancer, it probably would have been more worthwhile.

 

[FalloutJack]

Obviously, the aliens wouldn't cooperate and kept fighting the development team for control of the game. Fortunately, the Duke was around, so...

 

[wolas3214]

Free blowjob and pudding to quote yahtzee.

 

[GrimHeaper]

I would have preferred livign life as duke in his daily day to day life than shoot aliens.
Oh and make the best game ever.