What if...you could speak to the world or at least the Nation for five minutes?

[Unsilenced]

Assuming they just hear it, like, randomly in their heads?

"...was thinking that I'd just smite it all and start over again. I mean seriously, have you seen what they've been doing? They practically smite themselves, then they ask /me/ why there's suffering! Unbelievable. Anyways, what I was thinking I'd do is take a meteor and... wait, what? What do you mean the mic is on, what m-OH SON OF A B-"

 

[songnar]

Everyone, eh?

I should like to recite either "Look Up, Hannah" by Chaplin or "Desiderata" by Ehrmann.

 

[shootthebandit]

with additional time to note that nowhere in the bible does it say (word for word at least) that God Hates -insert any LGBT movement group name here

No, it does not say that word for word but it does have two particular lines that the christian stance on homosexuality are drawn from. (at least the most famous ones anyway, there's a whole wiki article on this and it's quite fascinating)

18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (Leviticus 18:22 KJV)

20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:13 KJV)

Personally I'd call that an open and shut case for the bible's stance on homosexual relationships.

Now I cannot stress this enough, but I do not agree with this[footnote]Inevitably, however, someone will think I do.[/footnote]. It's a misconception that the bible doesn't have anything to say about same sex relationships and I think it helps that this is cleared up for people; christians didn't just pull that particular religious rule out of their ass.

Come to think of it, I'd probably use my time trying to clear that point of discussion in the argument up. After all, the first step to a healthy argument is understanding where your opponent is coming from.

It says "lie" so Im pretty sure they could get away with doing it standing up if they had a good lawyer. If the religious nuts read that much into the bible ill play them at thier own game

 

[crazyarms33]

"The only way to avoid WWIII is to reduce the population drastically. So, depressed teenagers, go for it! Everyone else, stop making babies goddammit."

I love this post. So much win. Emo kids confuse the hell outta me.

OT: To the politicians: "You are entrusted by the people, not your party, to do what is best for them! Not what is good for your party! A good compromise leaves everyone pissed off, and demanding that everyone cave to your wishes is childish! You should be statesmen, not politicians! And that means what is good for the majority of the people, not what is good for you and your constituents! Being elected is not a job, it is a privilege, an honor and a terrible responsibility because by your choices you shape the future of the people and you would do well to remember that."

To the people "Quit being fucking stupid. All of you! There are stupid people out there, accept this and move on. It is not rude to call someone what they are, it is a statement of fact. Drop the PC bullshit and be a person first and a number second or preferably last. Love your family, friends, neighbors and anyone you happen to meet. Not because they are what you think they "should" be, but for who they are. Realize that politicians will promise you the moon and stars for free but that nothing comes without a price. Asking other people to pay for your shit because you are lazy is criminal. Assuming that because you are fabulously wealthy makes you better than anyone is moronic at worst and elitist at best. Understand that hard work gets you places faster than mooching off of others and don't be afraid to fail. Further actions have consequences and they should. If you make a stupid choice realize that people will judge you for it, and if you don't agree please kindly go form your own commune of "tolerance" elsewhere, preferably away from the hard working people who hold others accountable. Lastly don't base your opinions on rhetoric, base them on fact. An educated individual is an empowered individual and will lead to success both individually and for the community as a whole. Work together to accomplish goals and don't be afraid to crack the whip over those that do none of the work and will take all the credit. You worked for something, don't let others claim your achievements."

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

I would tell them "im sick of your bullshit, cut it out." While giving looks at those countries that look after terrorists or pain start trouble.

 

[M920CAIN]

I'd probably do a speech similar to this, as this video is my inspiration on alot of things about life.
Philosophy is one of my favorite subjects, especially regarding social and political issues.

RIP Charlie Chaplin, you glorious bastard :')

I'd have to agree with this, but 50% of my countries population is probably full of retards and they wouldn't get the message, also the politicians and business people wouldn't care, so I'm sorry Chaplin.. not today pal.

 

[M920CAIN]

I'd probably do a speech similar to this, as this video is my inspiration on alot of things about life.
Philosophy is one of my favorite subjects, especially regarding social and political issues.

RIP Charlie Chaplin, you glorious bastard :')

I'd have to agree with this, but 50% of my country's population is probably full of retards and they wouldn't get the message, also the politicians and business people wouldn't care, so I'm sorry Chaplin.. not today pal.

 

[Black Heron Ink]

I'm not sure I could top the great Charlie Chaplain:
Would it be a cop-out to say I would just play this?

I would just recite this in Binary Code. That'll turn some heads.

 

[MiskWisk]

I'd probably open with, "Right, this is a message for everyone... except you, Steve."

After that I'd probably ramble.

 

[Blackdoom]

I would lay down the freshest beats ever heard as I freestyle for the entirety of the 5 minutes. The beauty of my skill moves and changes the world creating world peace all people united by the fact that they were the dopest words anybody has ever spat.

 

[Julius Terrell]

I would lay down the freshest beats ever heard as I freestyle for the entirety of the 5 minutes. The beauty of my skill moves and changes the world creating world peace all people united by the fact that they were the dopest words anybody has ever spat.

But I don't like rap so I would tune you out. LOL!!!

If I had 5 minutes I would probably tell Christians to go fuck themselves and to get the hell out of governing countries. I get sick of hearing how Christians get to rule the world with their biblical views while still being able to commit the many evils of the world. Thank you very much!

In this day and age of scientific enlightment we don't need gods and such. I'd probably say that and tell people put our heads together for the betterment of the human race. Meaning....getting out and taking advantage of the solar system and its many resources so that we can move forward with gaining a better understanding of our existence.

 

[Dangit2019]

"I have come to Earth to deliver an important message from the Almighty:

(cough, cough)

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little *****?

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid.

I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you?re paying the price, you goddamn idiot.

I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You're fucking dead, kiddo.

That concludes this message."

 

[CannibalCorpses]

You'd get 5 minutes of paranoid mutterings from me...let's see how many people we can make go postal, all at once

'I'm coming to get you...you thought you could hide but i'm always watching you...'