What is Love? Does it exist?

[Daystar Clarion]

No, now you're making straw man arguments.

You loved her, and thought she loved you. That was probably the case.

Shit happens and now this girl doesn't love you, or doesn't love you enough to go out of her way. Different people react differently when something depressing happens, some people cling to those they love, or they shut themselves away. Some people never recover and any past and future relationships may be affected.

She got fucked over by 'fate' or whatever, and she's dealing with it. If she decided that you don't belong in her life anymore then that's her choice.

That doesn't lessen your love of her, but there has to be 2 people in a relationship. She wanted out, so you're left alone.

It sucks, but that's just the way the cards are dealt sometimes.

I look forward to the day you're left alone... And I'll be sure I'm there to tell you she never really loved you. I'm sure you won't be bothered by that at all. Think it won't ever happen to you? Yeah, I thought that for two years. Then maybe you'll learn some humility and regret how boastful you are... Though I'm likely expecting too much from you.

Been with fiancee for 7 seven years.

Sure we've had our rough patches, but for me, love is easy. It doesn't require much effort. I understand that a lot of realtionships do need work and I'm fine with that. My fiancee may have several forms of cancer in the next few years, or very intrusive operations to prevent them (due to a family history). I'm not happy about it, but I'm not letting it get in the way of what really matters.

If the worst does happen, I sure as shit won't be on the internet crying about it.

 

[Bakuryukun]

Of course, that's a part of life. There isn't a single person in my life that I could say I love everything about them. My dad is way too prejudiced against certain things. My mom gets into my business too much. My brother argues about pointless things. My roommate is way too sensitive. There will always be things that you dislike about people.

To me, it just seems that girl pulled the rug out from under you and now you're questioning the stability of every other relationship in your life because of it. Put simply, it's all in your head. You're worried about your relationships, so go talk to them about it. It isn't love that clouded your vision back then. It's the pain you're feeling that's clouding your vision right now. Go talk to some people, get it off your chest, and just give it some time. Maybe see a therapist if you've got the money, if there are some things you don't want to talk about with those who you know. Get well soon.

That's a lie. No, it's a misunderstanding. There is not a single person in this world I would miss if they left or died. People are merely another source of entertainment or pleasant feelings. It was only that one that I ever felt upset that I had lost, for whatever reason. Friends are easily replaced; you don't really need them. Sure, they're fun to hang around with. But if they change, and they're no longer fun? You leave. It's simple.

If the good outweighs the bad; you call that "Love". I define love as a sort of devotion to a person... To be willing to greatly inconvenience, hinder, or even hurt yourself or your goals for their happiness. Simply put, that does not exist.

If you think like that then I wouldn't say you HAVE any "friends" by the traditional sense of the word. Don't let pure logic rule your life, it's a TERRIBLE defense mechanism. Also you ignore the fact that people will inconvenience themselves or get themselves hurt for other people, if they value those people so greatly that they feel the tax on their psyche of losing said person would be worse than the damage that they would immediately take from another source.

Sounds to me like you were WAAAAAY too depended on a relationship in the past, and now that it's gone, you've gone into pure logic mode to protect your mind from further trauma.

 

[Mr Somewhere]

Of course love exists, is it an emotion? Most certainly. Yes it is made to manipulate us into continuing the species, yes it is simply the release of chemicals. It's all of those clinical statements.
But again, it exists and is an experience unlike any other. The power of the human mind is to forge meaning and rationalise and so we make love something more, something special, as with any relation it has to develop it becomes as deep connection between two partners.
But true love? No there is no such thing. Why? People are not perfect, mishaps will happen.

 

[Alphavillain]

"My idea of love comes from
A childhood glimpse of pornography
Though there is no true love
Just a finely tuned jealousy" -Manic Street Preachers

 

[Gruevy]

I define love as a sort of devotion to a person... To be willing to greatly inconvenience, hinder, or even hurt yourself or your goals for their happiness. Simply put, that does not exist.

^^there's your problem, your definition of love is an ideal which doesn't exist and you just realized that after you were turned down. you were right, because you lied to yourself hoping it should be a certain way.

 

[messy]

Love is an abstract concept. But we can experience emotions, and that means we can experience love.
I mean, there are different kinds of love, and if you think about all those mothers out there that can love their child NO MATTER WHAT, that's unconditional love that's got nothing to do with biology.

Well it does have pretty much everything to do with biology. That being said I don't think that makes it any less impressive.

I believe Love to be purely biological but still amazing, I don't see what's not amazing about somehow a bunch of chemicals is translated into writing songs, plays, painting and everything else that goes along with it.

 

[Fawcks]

I define love as a sort of devotion to a person... To be willing to greatly inconvenience, hinder, or even hurt yourself or your goals for their happiness. Simply put, that does not exist.

^^there's your problem, your definition of love is an ideal which doesn't exist and you just realized that after you were turned down. you were right of course, because you lied to yourself.

So, what is love then? Merely someone who is pleasant to be around? It's awfully romanticized by society for that.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

The Lenny Bruce in me wants to say "Love is a four letter word".

The gamer in me wishes to point out that I learned about the definition of "Love" through a video game. Notably, Wild ARMs 1.

"Love is the ability to protect what is precious."

Now, this opens two questions in logical order. The first being "What is precious?" and the second being "Can you protect it?" The definition and classification of what is precious ultimately varies from person to person, but the question of if it is protectable is a straight Yes or No answer, hopefully followed by a reasonable explanation of their decision.

In either case, "Love" exists, if only in our own minds. Perhaps, it doesn't need to have words, spoken or typed, to be explained or understood. If you would Raftina, take it away...


(Captcha - Theasen Code. Lord Inglip is speaking to me in Theasen Code. I must obey.)

 

[Daystar Clarion]

If the worst does happen, I sure as shit won't be on the internet crying about it.

Your own fault for being such a jerk about it.

It's one thing to say "X", but to claim first "You obviously have never loved someone before" to try and discredit me, then when I explain I HAVE loved someone before, you respond with "Well she never loved you", and never took a moment to contemplate "Mm, maybe this is kind of a dick move. Oh well! *CLICK*".

Yeah, I did overreact a little to that, but honestly, you have no excuse for being a prick about it.

In other news, I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope your fiance recovers swiftly. I certainly hope you didn't think I'd wish poorly on her because you're a bit of a sod.

Go back and read over the posts. It was never my attention to cause offense, I didn't claim that you personally have never loved anyone. I may have been very direct, but I wasn't trying to be hurtful.

 

[knuckles2812]

What is love... baby don't hurt me. don't hurt me, no more. *head bob*

 

[Fawcks]

Go back and read over the posts. It was never my attention to cause offense, I didn't claim that you personally have never loved anyone. I may have been very direct, but I wasn't trying to be hurtful.

I was responding to this:

"Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it."

I felt as though you were saying I shouldn't be talking about it unless I have loved someone. So, I provided my story. It wasn't until you said she didn't love me that shit went south because honestly, that's a bit of a sensitive topic for me (Big surprise?), and you kind of approached it without any tact or sensitivity. Then shit continued to degrade with the "Emo crying" and the "cry about it on the internet" bull.

Funny how you accused me of using straw men first.

 

[Nenad]

I've always look at love like friendship. You mostly have some people who have been your friends a long time. Why would it be impossible to have the same thing with your partner, only added sex and everything else that comes with love?

Edit: There is a great quote about love that I am having trouble finding. It goes something like this:
"Love is giving something that is a part of you someone and feeling the happiness of that someone as your own."
(The someone is happy because you gave it a part of your self, also this "part of yourself" could be anything, like a gift that you put thought into, in my opinion) If anyone know how this goes in original, please let me know!

 

[vawainwright]

Love is playing Borderlands with your fiancee, then having sex with her.

It's awesome.

I suppose I should put something in there about getting on very well together, knowing each other very well, blah blah blah.

Love is just one of those things that's hard to explain. Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it.

YES! that is exactly what love is. being completely yourself with somebody and being able to act like a complete fool. Also love is finding your partner attractive in the morning when you wake up with bed hair or holding your hair back whilst you vomit on your first date(true story)

When you fall in love, you know. It's as easy as that.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Go back and read over the posts. It was never my attention to cause offense, I didn't claim that you personally have never loved anyone. I may have been very direct, but I wasn't trying to be hurtful.

I was responding to this:

"Those who've never been in love, are the least qualified to try and describe it."

I felt as though you were saying I shouldn't be talking about it unless I have loved someone. So, I provided my story. It wasn't until you said she didn't love me that shit went south because honestly, that's a bit of a sensitive topic for me (Big surprise?), and you kind of approached it without any tact or sensitivity. Then shit continued to degrade with the "Emo crying" and the "cry about it on the internet" bull.

Funny how you accused me of using straw men first.

Again, I never said she didn't love you. Just that she didn't love you as much you loved her. Now I'm going to leave it there, I recognise that it's a sensitive topic, and I'm not going to try and analyse it any further, for that way leads to madness.

I apologise for any offense caused, it wasn't my intention.

 

[Gruevy]

I define love as a sort of devotion to a person... To be willing to greatly inconvenience, hinder, or even hurt yourself or your goals for their happiness. Simply put, that does not exist.

^^there's your problem, your definition of love is an ideal which doesn't exist and you just realized that after you were turned down. you were right of course, because you lied to yourself.

So, what is love then? Merely someone who is pleasant to be around? It's awfully romanticized by society for that.

Love to me is just another emotion, so yes, but when it's shared and reciprocated it's like the best thing in the world, which is why society makes a big deal about it.

My advice is to not go into love expecting it will last forever or be too forceful about how it should be.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

I think it's rather silly to think that love doesn't exist, considering so many people have made such a hullabaloo about it for the last several thousand years of documented civilization.

They did that with deities, too.
Yup, just went there.

But actually, I do believe love exists. Just like God doesn't.

 

[FallenRainbows]

Hellooooo! Me here, now...

Love? Does it exist, hell yes! You sir, are missing out on what I (and many others) consider to be utopia. Sure, it can be a *****, trust me I know, but heck what is the point to anything if we don't have love?

Also, I will spend all day arguing this.

Note:

Lust =/= love

Lust is part of love (usually)

Love is not part of lust

Well, I'm still trying to figure the whole "love" thing out, but I do know that the idea of unconditional love is bullshit. There are always conditions; if there weren't, we would never fall in love with that person to begin with. And if the person turns out to be an asshole, there's no way that we would be able to continue to love him/her unconditionally because the bad behavior in itself would become a condition to make us say "What the hell am I doing here?" and BAIL.

I introduce you to me ex.

She's been bloody horrible about the whole thing, three years she throws it in my face with an 'I'm bored' sure, I kinda wanted to kill her a little bit but I still love her now, I want nothing to do with her but I still love her. I have done for a very long time, I wanted nothing more than to spend forever sitting under the moonlight with her, she just didn't love me.

As for how I know? Well I've lusted, I've loved, there is a difference in emotion. I've fancied, I've love, again a difference. I've been overjoyed, I've been in love, a difference.

Also, as a side note, love at first sight is stupid and totally unrealistic, I do not intend to say it doesn't exist, as it may, but I doubt it.

 

[babinro]

In the case where I experienced 'love' over a long term relationship I felt something different when with her, and without her. Simply having her in my life, and knowing she was there for me brought out the best in all aspects of my life.

Love tends to stagnate over time with routine, exposure to that person and stress. This is why there is such a different feeling when you love someone such as a girlfriend, to the love you might feel for your family members.

I would imagine true love is one that simply doesn't stagnate...one that stays strong despite the problems and stresses of reality. I believe that true love exists...however, I also believe that an extremely small percentage of the population ever experiences it.

 

[GenericAmerican]

I was going to answer, but I read some other posts and it's just you arguing with another escapist.

Get over yourself, move on with life. If she 'loved' you but decided it wasn't worth it, I don't think she loved you.

And the way I view it, well if she don't want to be with me; screw her, she is missing out. It might hurt a little if you loved her, but if she doesn't return it, then move on.

And friends are easily replaceable? I would say, no they are not. True friends are irreplaceable, fake friends (which I suspect you have) are a dime a dozen.

Hell I am going to speak my mind from what I have read, maybe you are the fake friend. If you view all other people as merely things that can be tossed aside when inconvenient, and replaced easily; then you are by my definitions, a miserable asshole.

A true friend won't brush you off, a true friend can inconvenience you but you don't care, and you can inconvenience a true friend and they won't care.

A real friend will drive 30 minutes to pick you up after your ride left you hanging, a real friend will come over and you can hang out and do absolutely nothing, to the point of it being boring, but still have a good time. A real friend would back you up in a fight, and I have backed some friends up.

You seem like the kind of person that would say "sorry, I can't come pick you up. Gas is 3.50, not to mention its a long drive." "Sorry, hanging out with you it shit boring." "Sorry your mother died, your depressed right now and not any fun to be around; you no longer qualify as a friend."

I don't even know why I am typing this up; just reading this shit makes me pissed off. Seems to be a trend on the escapist lately, whiny idiots making threads like this; trying to logically comprehend why one insignificant bad event happened to them.

One of my best friends died in a car crash, had his entire head ripped from his body by the hood of another car flying through the windscreen, I've been turned down by girls, the house is being foreclosed, I'm pretty much in the poorhouse, my grades are slipping, I owe money to 'people'.

But I don't sit on the internet and ***** about it, and I don't(usually) start arguments when someone has contradictory views.

 

[Fawcks]

Again, I never said she didn't love you. Just that she didn't love you as much you loved her. Now I'm going to leave it there, I recognise that it's a sensitive topic, and I'm not going to try and analyse it any further, for that way leads to madness.

I apologise for any offense caused, it wasn't my intention.

My response remains the same as the last time you offered to step out. Your apology is too late, insincere, and forced to warrant any different evaluation. Good day, Sir.