What is Love? Does it exist?

[Peteron]

You loved her. She simply didn't love you, or at least not enough to do anything to stay with you. I know it sucks, but it happens.

Shut up! You don't know anything. Just... Don't act like you know me, or anything about me! Got it?

Aaaaaand I'm out.

Emo crying is where I draw the line in any argument. This is obviously an attention grab for sympathy.

Thats what this whole thing seems like to me, quite honestly. I don't really know or care if love exists, I have liked people a lot but not to that point. It could exist, I could care less. Bonding and mating is part of life and people will continue doing both with or without it.

 

[FluxCapacitor]

A question for the OP that might help put his ex's feelings in perspective: Why didn't he go with her when she left? If he had 'too much tying him there', he's equally responsible for their breakup as her need to be somewhere else...

An example - my sister, a successful industrial chemist, has just moved to a country where she doesn't speak the language or have a job, for at least a year. She has done this in company with her fiance, because it is a great career opportunity for him. They discussed it as a couple and agreed that it would be a good move - but if she had wanted to stay and he to go it might have ended their relationship. And it wouldn't have been his fault for leaving any more than hers for staying.

 

[Xenetethrae]

Is there such a thing as true love? Or is it merely a thing our mind does to trick us in order to propagate the species, or is it a societal norm that has been reinforced over time?

There is no such thing as "True Love", but there is such a thing as love. All emotions can be traced back to different chemical balances within the brain, but that is not to say that these emotions aren't real.

Love, in particular, mirrors the psychological (and neurological) desire-reward symptoms of addictive drugs. In fact, love is addictive (the hormone responsible for love - Oxytocin - reacts in a similar manner as Dopamine).

The pituitary gland releases Oxytocin during orgasm and childbirth. During these times, Oxytocin promotes the processing of social cues involved in recognizing individuals and in laying down "shared memories". Oxytocin is released again (in smaller amounts) when in the prescence of those whose presence your subconscious links to the production of more Oxytocin. That is to say, you will feel happier in general and feel a stronger personal connection to someone when in the presence of someone you are familiar with (especially when those two people are the same person).

This is also why we feel sad when we are away from "loved ones". We miss the rush of hormones that is associated with seeing them and our bodies go into a mild withdrawal.

On a slightly related note, I remember seeing that several different factors and types of love:
3 factors of love: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment

7 types of love:
Liking (intimacy)
Empty Love (commitment)
Infatuation (passion)
Romantic Love (passion + intimacy)
Compassionate Love (intimacy + commitment)
Fatuous Love (passion + commitment)
Consummate Love (intimacy + passion + commitment)

Make of it what you will

[sub]ofthems for? ofthems for who? for me? I can haz ofthems?[/sub]

 

[sinshin]

I think there is such a thing as unconditional love. I fell in love with someone very deeply. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same despite claiming that he did (he ultimately left me for someone else). I loved him immensely, and his happiness was all I ever wanted. I don't know if there is such a thing as true love, but certainly there is such a thing as unconditional romantic love. Well, that's in my own experience. I realise that it can be broken down to chemical reactions in the body, but so can everything else we feel, and I don't think that renders it any less significant.

 

[somonels]

Love is such an abstract construct that I am not even going to include this in my code.

I am putting forward a motion to lock this thread.
The OP's emotional state is too intense to question the existance of it's origin.

 

[ZeroMachine]

I think there is such a thing as unconditional love. I fell in love with someone very deeply. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same despite claiming that he did (he ultimately left me for someone else). I loved him immensely, and his happiness was all I ever wanted. I don't know if there is such a thing as true love, but certainly there is such a thing as unconditional romantic love. Well, that's in my own experience. I realise that it can be broken down to chemical reactions in the body, but so can everything else we feel, and I don't think that renders it any less significant.

I had the same situation. I still love the girl, but because of what she did, I could never be with her again. I'd still help her if I could, though.

Unconditional love can be a *****... but, at the very least, I'm ready to move on, and fall more deeply for someone else, if I find someone. Sinshin, I hope you can move on as well. I don't know you're situation, but it has to be said- don't let the past control you

So, to answer your question, OP, yes. It does exist. If it didn't, you wouldn't see people changing their lives for those they care about. And who cares if you can boil it down to chemical reactions? Like many people have just said, it doesn't make it any less real.

And to those that are all so cynical, saying "love can't exist in such a cruel world, oh, woe is me!" grow up. Yeah, the world can be a horrible place, but if you ignore what's good in the world, your life will suck.

 

[Xenetethrae]

snip

That was a beautiful and insightful post. [sub]If only there were more of these.[/sub] My eyes welled up a little after reading that.
However...

While love is ostensibly a product of the electrochemical processes of the human mind, it takes on a new meaning when considered from relative perspective of a human being.

... to say that love is a product of the human psyche inasmuch as it is a mere balance of chemicals is a tad contradictory. I agree with the bulk of your post but have to stress how looking at love from the point of view of mere chemicals is hardly a reductionist view on the matter.

I myself yearn to understand the myraid and astounding processes that result in human consciousness, emotions, and "the mind" in general. However, to understand these processes we must look away from idle Philosophical musings and instead towards Neurobiology and Cognitive Sciences. While seeming as mundane and simplistic sciences, there is beauty to be found in their approach to understanding the mind.

To know that every overarching process of the mind based off simple electric potentials and chemical flow is to behold the true uniqueness of every human being. That love is a chemical process but is also defined by the individual (rather brilliantly in your example) because of these chemical processes demonstrates the inherent diversity of the neural wiring of the human brain.

You said love is relative. But are these differences not biological as well as psychological? Are these biological factors not worthy of our consideration when defining love on a relative scale? (purely rhetorical questions)

Also, welcome to the Escapist!

 

[sinshin]

I think there is such a thing as unconditional love. I fell in love with someone very deeply. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same despite claiming that he did (he ultimately left me for someone else). I loved him immensely, and his happiness was all I ever wanted. I don't know if there is such a thing as true love, but certainly there is such a thing as unconditional romantic love. Well, that's in my own experience. I realise that it can be broken down to chemical reactions in the body, but so can everything else we feel, and I don't think that renders it any less significant.

I had the same situation. I still love the girl, but because of what she did, I could never be with her again. I'd still help her if I could, though.

Unconditional love can be a *****... but, at the very least, I'm ready to move on, and fall more deeply for someone else, if I find someone. Sinshin, I hope you can move on as well. I don't know you're situation, but it has to be said- don't let the past control you

So, to answer your question, OP, yes. It does exist. If it didn't, you wouldn't see people changing their lives for those they care about. And who cares if you can boil it down to chemical reactions? Like many people have just said, it doesn't make it any less real.

And to those that are all so cynical, saying "love can't exist in such a cruel world, oh, woe is me!" grow up. Yeah, the world can be a horrible place, but if you ignore what's good in the world, your life will suck.

In your last paragraph, you took the words right out of my mouth! And yes, bit by bit, I'm moving on. Also, it restored a lot of my faith in humanity that you would be so encouraging to a complete stranger- thank you!

 

[Eleima]

Back on topic. Yes, I believe in love, because I am in love, and have been in love most of my life. Different kinds of love, of course. Love for my parents, love for my sister, love for my cat, love for games, love for scifi and last but definitely not least, for the past 7 years, love for my husband. There are many different kinds of love, and love, most often than not, defies definition. Love doesn't necessarily have to be a complicated thing.

As for the specific brand of love you're talking about, well... The problem today is too many people confuse true love with infatuation, and that very important distinction is best explained in the undying words of Ann Landers.

The love isn't merely infatuation. My romantic relationship lasted for two years, I highly doubt that infatuation would last that long.

I don't understand love on it's basic level. I've never really "Loved" anyone before I met that lady, so I don't understand it. No, not my parents. They love me, if they're to be believed. I do not, however, and I never have. Nor my sister. I despise them. My sister because she's loud and annoying, my parents because they're... They're just bad people.

I wasn't speaking of your experience, because well, I just don't have enough information to go on, I don't know you, and all that. But I've seen a few of my friends get hitched in a rush, because they thought they had found "true love" in the back of a van. And then divorcing less than a year later just because they couldn't agree on where to move. Just saying that more often than not nowadays, people are a mite too quick to call what they're feeling "love".

I'm very sorry for what happened to you, more importantly, that she didn't have the guts to give you a straight answer with a decent explanation, but don't let it make you bitter. Love exists. It's out there.

First things first: Sorry, it just had to be done.

I knew someone was going to do this, but why you Eleima? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Because I love that song, I grew up with it. ^_^ And when a thread is thus titled, it's just asking for it. You know it is. ^_^

 

[ZeroMachine]

I think there is such a thing as unconditional love. I fell in love with someone very deeply. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same despite claiming that he did (he ultimately left me for someone else). I loved him immensely, and his happiness was all I ever wanted. I don't know if there is such a thing as true love, but certainly there is such a thing as unconditional romantic love. Well, that's in my own experience. I realise that it can be broken down to chemical reactions in the body, but so can everything else we feel, and I don't think that renders it any less significant.

I had the same situation. I still love the girl, but because of what she did, I could never be with her again. I'd still help her if I could, though.

Unconditional love can be a *****... but, at the very least, I'm ready to move on, and fall more deeply for someone else, if I find someone. Sinshin, I hope you can move on as well. I don't know you're situation, but it has to be said- don't let the past control you

So, to answer your question, OP, yes. It does exist. If it didn't, you wouldn't see people changing their lives for those they care about. And who cares if you can boil it down to chemical reactions? Like many people have just said, it doesn't make it any less real.

And to those that are all so cynical, saying "love can't exist in such a cruel world, oh, woe is me!" grow up. Yeah, the world can be a horrible place, but if you ignore what's good in the world, your life will suck.

In your last paragraph, you took the words right out of my mouth! And yes, bit by bit, I'm moving on. Also, it restored a lot of my faith in humanity that you would be so encouraging to a complete stranger- thank you!

I'm glad I could help in what little way I could. Always feels nice to see someone on here that isn't destructively pessimistic. It's an odd mindset that a lot of people on here have... they want to see humanity grow, but they believe that humanity itself is hopeless unless we discard all empathy, and only act for ourselves... it's so contradictory that it makes my head spin sometimes

 

[DanielDeFig]

Fisrtly, i don't beleivethere is such a thing as "true love". Why? With almost 10 billion humans, most of whom live in poverty, and thus have very limited opportunities and choice in all matters of life, it wouldn't be logical that "there is only one person for each person". People would fall in love so infrequently that it wouldn't even exist as a concept!

Secondly, i believe that romantic love is:
"Two personalities finding each other in this world, and deciding that they want to share their lives with each other." (Gender neutral. Yay!XD!)

Finally, familial love (irrelevant of whether they're biologically related or not) is:
"Knowing people well enough to know both their strengths and faults. Like all people, they have enough redeeming values to make their life wroth protecting, and worth supporting in anything they choose to do in their life. But unlike all other people, you know these people well enough to know this is true, and are ready to take their side when no-one else will."

(This definition comes from my own attempt to, in retrospect, logically define my personal beliefs about the importance of family bonds and undying loyalty, to both family and friends you know well enough to treat like family)

 

[Simriel]

You loved her. She simply didn't love you, or at least not enough to do anything to stay with you. I know it sucks, but it happens.

Shut up! You don't know anything. Just... Don't act like you know me, or anything about me! Got it?

And thus the nail was hit, on the head.

 

[Simriel]

The best way to learn about love is experience. If you really want to get to know it better, than look at the relationships in your own life. And not just your romantic relationships. Look at your relationships with your parents, your family, your friends, your coworkers, and every other person you come in contact with. The only way you can learn about love is to learn what it means for you. There isn't a single answer to any of the questions you asked that anyone can give to you. Only you can decide what love means to you.

This is half of my point. There is not a single person in my life I "Love". If I were with a friend, and they became an inconvenience, I would leave. I hate my parents, I hate my coworkers. I spend my time with people I enjoy being around. No more, no less. There is no love. If their faults outweigh their pros, I would leave them. If, say, a friend suddenly lost a family member, or something, and as a result became less fun to hang out with, I would leave them behind. Anyone would do the same. That's my point. Love is simply a way of saying "I like being around person X", but when push comes to shove, there will always be something that can push people apart. Make them hate each other.

So the slightest inconvenience causes you to leave your friends and family behind? If this is the case you deserve no friends, no family, no lovers. If you are so very selfish, you deserve to be alone.

 

[Biosophilogical]

As i see it and i could be wrong, love is some sort of chemical in the body that influences the person to stay with a partner. The reason for this is so when people have offspring the chances of its survival go up because there are two guardians to protect said offspring.

And no i do not believe in true love.

Well technically eerything is a chemical reaction (thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc), so saying love is just a chemical reaction is irrelevant because it doesn't make it any less ... lovely.

For me, love is half selfish, half selfless. On the one hand, they make you extremely happy and there isn't much you want more in the world than to be with them. But on the other hand, their happiness and well-being becomes one of the most important things in your life. And the balance of this tends to determine the balance of the realtionship; if someone is all selfless, they tend to be the push-over, is they are all selfish then they don't care about the well-being of the other except in terms of keeping them for themselves.

 

[Fawcks]

So the slightest inconvenience causes you to leave your friends and family behind? If this is the case you deserve no friends, no family, no lovers. If you are so very selfish, you deserve to be alone.

What slightest inconvenience? Did you not read what I said? Did you not understand it? Or did you just come here to troll?

 

[Sarge034]

Lady don't hurt me.... Don't hurt me no more.

Ow, sorry wrong What is Love.

EDIT- Damn ninjad, but the video was removed sooooo.... partial ninjad?

OT- Love is the chemical attraction a person feels towards another person that fades with time. A relationship on the other hand is all the getting along and understanding stuff.

Does that help? You can pay the receptionist on the way out.

 

[deleted_scifidownbeat]

DELETED

 

[Twilight_guy]

Love is a cultural concept. The current notion of love was set down in surprising large part during and sense the Romantic movement. It is a cultural concept to explaining the biological feelings of attraction and the desire to be with another person. If we want to get deeper then that then one of us is going to need to get a masters and I'm busy this weekend.

 

[t3h br0th3r]

(Romantic)Love- A powerful but not everlasting force that draws people together.

Thats it. My Great-Grandmother told me that love can bring two people together but it can't keep them there. I think love is around but it gets over hyped. Love is not perfect, it can have flaws and it can be harmful or one sided (I love someone who doesn't love me back/is just using me).

 

[Astoria]

I believe in true love and think I've found it. True love isn't about being blind to someone's faults but about accepting them and loving that person despite them. I think so many people are obsessed with finding true love that they think they've found it and stay with that person because they're afraid of not finding someone else. And even if you don't believe in true love I can't see why you don't believe in love. Love doesn't have to be between two people, it can the love for a event or a object or anything really.