Fawcks said:
Daystar Clarion said:
Fawcks said:
Daystar Clarion said:
Fawcks said:
Daystar Clarion said:
You loved her. She simply didn't love you, or at least not enough to do anything to stay with you. I know it sucks, but it happens.
Shut up! You don't know anything. Just... Don't act like you know me, or anything about me! Got it?
Aaaaaand I'm out.
Emo crying is where I draw the line in any argument. This is obviously an attention grab for sympathy.
You're a presumptuous prick, I certainly won't miss you.
You made discussing love, and because you've had a shit exeperience with love, you're confused as to what love is. I get that.
If you thought you were in love with this girl, then you probably were. She obviously wasn't in
as much love as you. I know that if I loved someone, I'd do anything to be with them. She didn't, ergo, she didn't love that much.
You're telling me if your parents died, or some other extreme circumstance occurred, you wouldn't change at all?
If your girlfriend lost her mother or someone close to her, and simply left because she didn't have the emotional capacity for you anymore, and someone told you she never really loved you, you wouldn't care? Is that what you're saying?
i'm truly sorry to hear about that. i just lost a girlfriend because her mum died, which changed everything and brought all her doubts into the open - she stopped loving me. but i think the real reason was something different.
in my life i've loved three people romantically, the first when i was 11. she was a friend of my sisters and she was simply like no-one i'd ever seen before. see, throughout my childhoold i lived in small villages around people who i could best describe as the british equivalent to rednecks. i lived with my older sister and our foreign, single mother. the cultural differences among everything else made us generally disliked and my sister took her insecurities out on me. all this and, i realised many years later, my dad's leaving (though he did/does keep in touch) gave me a desperate need to be loved and accepted which, of course, made me more and more alienated - while my sister was hated by her whole year, i was hated by the whole school. so for the first 11 years of my life i would do anything to fit in and deny all difference i had to anyone else.
so the first person i fell in love with was, of course, the exact opposite of this. she wasn't an individualist or anything stupid like that. those things just didn't matter to her so much. she (my sister's age) and her brother (my age) were both hated much like we had been but she handled it completely differently. she had even more insecurities than either of us and thought of herself as a "goth" (the stereotype exaggerates a lot - i don't know a single goth with that hypocritical delusion that they're "non-conformist" or anything. they just understand who they are and are comfortable (and, yeah, a little proud) with it.) anyway, this was exactly the kind of person i needed in my life. her personality was the perfect inspiration while her insecurity was the perfect thing to empathise with and want to be there through all the hardships etc. i constantly confessed my love to her for two years and she never reciprocated. she was sought after by everyone and while she would go out with practically every guy who so much as looked at her (and dumped them with in weeks, mostly) she never did the same to me. the optimist in me says it was because she actually gave a crap about me unlike them. i knew she'd given signals but neither of us acted on them.
so on meeting this girl, i changed myself completely and went through my first "rebirth" so to speak. though this was more like my first birth because i finally gave myself an identity. i became a goth and felt truly empowered. i still wear the clothes sometimes and it feels good but i'm comfortable with myself enough now not to have to do it often. and in the first year i was incredibly happy - it wasn't reciprocated but i was in love and she and i became close friends. after a while, though, i became more and more unhappy. she, my sister and their boyfriends made a sort of clique together and i was never really welcome. i became incredibly lonely and some of my old habits started to show themselves again
i was snapped out of my stupor by a girl i met who came on to me pretty much instantly and we started going out and fell in love very quickly. i was 13, she was 15 and we lost our virginities to eachother. i was too young and messed it up. i still feel that it was the right time for it in spite of that - i think i just had to learn that the hard way. after that i went into a guilt fuelled emotional lockdown for over a year. i knew full well it was totally my fault i'd ruined that relationship and it had been the first time i'd ever felt truly loved by a person. i completely shut myself emotionally. i couldn't cry and the worst part was that it was all just guilt for myself, not her. i was selfishly feeling sorry for myself. many times, i'd wanted to contact her and say how sorry i was for it all but it would have been for my benefit, not hers. i never got the balls to do it anyway.
it was then that i met my last girlfriend. we made friends quickly and fell deeply in love. this opened me up emotionally and triggered a second rebirth, (which i'm just starting to see the end of now). the relationship was filled with so many lessons i had to learn. it was a very serious relationship and there was barely a month where we weren't going through one crisis or another. we were together for over a year and it was filled with all these problems. yet the odd thing is i'm still glad i had it.
here's where i FINALLY get to my point, which is that i can't really define what love is but i have a theory as to why it's there. i'm a beleiver in interconnectivity and the collective subconscious etc. and i recently came to a thought. see, at the time of meeting my last girlfriend, i was starting to get into a lot of deep thinking and philosophy. this made me, of course more knowledgable etc. but also began to make me more selfrighteous and dogmatic. my last girlfriend is, in many ways, the exact opposite from me as a person. what i thought shouldn't be done, she did. what i hated, she loved. and i think i met her and fell in love with her because i neededt learn from her that things weren't as black and white as i thought they were. that thought got me thinking about my other loves, not just romantically but all other kinds and i realised that all the people i ever do/have loved in any way, from my family to my best friend to my girlfriends, i have always learned from. always.
so what i came to theorise is that we love and are loved for the purpose of spiritual growth, and intellectual growth etc. of course, it's always a two way thing - as they say "in teaching you will learn, in learning you will teach". that's why my latest ex-girlfriend is so perfect for me - she always says and does exactly what i don't want to see/hear, and that's what i need. so i'm glad we're still friends, even though i'm still in love with her (i guess i had a couple more lessons to learn about unreciprocated love lol)
sorry to spill my guts out on this but i think i needed to unload all this to the world one way or another. so for those who sat through this whole comment, thank you. it really means a lot
i'm 16 years old, single and, with no modesty, probably have more experience than many 30 year olds. i hope someone learns something from this too, in which case, my main tips are, watch the film "I <3 Huckabees" and listen to the band tool. they have both changed my way of thinking entirely.
