Here are a couple I like...
From The Book of General Ignorance, Stephen Fry's foreword is pretty good.
'People sometimes accuse me of knowing a lot. "Stephen," they say, "you know a lot".' (Pretty typical Stephen Fry, really)
From A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
'What's it going to be then, ey?'
There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, Dim being really dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard through dry.
I read A Clockwork Orange before seeing the movie, but I very nearly didn't after reading that line. All I could thing was 'what in the bloody hell did that mean??!!'