What is your favourite quote/analogy/quips from Yahtzee?

[CrazyGirl17]

"Fans are clingy, complaining dipshits who will never be glad with any concession you make."

"Well done you miserable old fuck."

"Short answer. No. Long answer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...."

"And for those of you not paying attention *Claps* OI!"

"And do you know who I blame for all this? YOU! Yes, you, the public. Especially you, ADRIAN!
That probably isn't your name, but it was worth it to freak out all the Adrians in the world."

"Guess they couldn't call it 'Bat-Vision' otherwise it would be a black screen."

"Another tool in Batman's arse...enal..."

"It just goes to show: never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afterrnon explaining that to people but no one's still going to eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man!"

"THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!"

"Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING... GREAT... TITS."

"On the whole, though, it's just not as good as tonguing another man's balls... I mean, as it used to be... I'm not gay!"

 

[shogunblade]

"On The Whole Though, It's just not as good as tonguing another man's balls. (beat) I mean as it used to. (beat) I'm Not Gay!" ~ Guitar Hero 3.

"On the Other hand, if neither [Deathspank or Limbo] look interesting to you, why not try eating something bland, preferrably a dick!" ~ Deathspank and Limbo.

"Assault on Cool Ranch Doritos..." ~ Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena.

 

[AperioContra]

"... The Setup is agreeably uncomplicated: 'Humans Tasty, let's at them all, yum yum.'"
or
"... But it's still Branston Pickle and if you let it take you in you'll swimming in it until your eyes fall out. Fallout 3 that is."

 

[SSoSFAGTiaCaGwaP]

Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be perfectly good pudding and you can spend all afternoon trying to convince people it's so, but no one's going to want to eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!

Haha, which one's that from?

 

[Spambot 3000]

"Pants-on-head retarded!"

Dammit, I KNEW I was too late ...

You rotten ninja

 

[SckizoBoy]

Thought of another one, surprised no-one mentioned it:

'Of course, this is a game for the hardcore fans... with an emphasis on HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRD, suggestive tone of voice, optional!' (with his avatar hip-thrusting)

*sigh* EDIT: May as well:

'I'd say it was 'made of win', but then I'd have to kill myself.'

'I'm a fair and unbiased critic... SHUT UP, I AM!'

'... which would've been great if the game hadn't gone "GEE, I WONDER WHAT THAT'S FROM?!" hmm? hmm? wink! wink! tonguebath...'

&

'It's exhausting but satisfying... like fucking a burning dolphin.'

(Pretty sure I've got bits wrong... must rewatch now... damn you, OP!)

 

[TheAngryKoala]

Dead to Rights:Retribution

"This is just Dead to Rights really. Really, really, really... dumb."

(or something along those lines)

 

[THE_NAMSU]

'THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!!'

... was the first one that came to mind, so I'll go with that.

I was expecting this to be the first one, best quote EVER.
Can't seem to remember any other that was as funny.

 

[Fenix7]

"I remember a time when FPSes had a sense of humor about themselves and included colours other than gunmetal gray and dogshit brown. I remember titles like Exhumed and Chasm and Witchhaven II ? though on reflection, I'd rather forget about them."

and

"Anyway, some helpful prior player advised me via the medium of floor to use fire-based weapons, so I opened the menu to put some fire on my sword, whereupon I was cowpatted to death because opening the menu doesn't pause the game. "Pause?!" it seemed to say. "What kind of ****** are you? I don't care if you need to answer the phone, real gamers have no friends!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND:

"I strongly advise not trying to follow the story on your first run-through, there are some things for which the human mind just isn't equipped. Bayonetta was found at the bottom of a river twenty years ago and now works with demons from Hell to kill angels, who are apparently evil because they keep attacking Bayonetta because she keeps attacking them. The baddies or possibly the goodies are trying to resurrect some big evil god thing which is linked to some ancient clan of witches and rival clan of sages and some associated evil corporation who presumably felt a bit left out. And there's this guy in a Harry Potter scarf who wants to either kill Bayonetta or bone her silly, and there's this little girl who's either Bayonetta's daughter or a younger version of herself - AAAARGH! Sometimes I miss the old Pac-Man storytelling method: eat pills, avoid ghosts. That's it. Only sometimes you can eat ghosts as well if you - AAARGH!"

 

[CannibalCorpses]

Kane and lynch 2 sucks so many dicks it now breathes spunk instead of air!


Classic!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

"First of all, why can't anyone leave the right analog stick alone? In third-person games, its job is to control the camera - that's what it's comfortable with. You try and work it into combat and it just gets frightened and confused. It's like someone made a submarine out of metal, and the metal submarine works perfectly fine and became the norm, but then someone said, "Everyone makes submarines out of metal - let's make one out of bread!"

I always liked that quote best.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

"Fans are clinging complaining dipshits who'll never ever be grateful for any concessions you make. The moment you shut out their shrill tremulous voices the happier you'll be for it."

...so tragically true.

 

[Spectral Dragon]

"Allow me to hold your head under the putrescent waters of knowledge"

... Ninja'd on the first post.
I've used that one in conversation, when teaching people things they'd rather I took care of instead due to laziness.
Anyway, that is THE best quote from Yahtzee, in my opinion. Followed closely by "It could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire."

 

[Cargin]

Ninja'd on so many of my favourites, but thankfully no-one's said this yet...

"Frankly, I wouldn't buy this game unless it came down to bargain basement price...and they threw in another, better game...and some cake...and BELGIUM!"

From the Darkness review I believe. So long ago that when it occasionally randomly pops into my head, I just collapse laughing.

Also
"...and to offset the gravity of the preceeding sentence: Boingo boingo whoopsey knickers!"

And the whole cake being the mushroom kingdom word for sex bit. priceless.

 

[Gerhardt]

One that I have used before:
"Makes me want to swallow barbed wire, pull one end out my ass and floss myself to death!"

Other favorites are:

"This may sound weird but 'Hurdy-gurdy-bubbley-boo"

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man!"

"Cole McGrath, a name that's part Irish and part dipshit"

"Thomas and Ray both get big hats, so they eat danger and shit bullets. Weeum doesn't get a hat so best he can do is eat wheat-a-bits and shit healthily."

"And Batman is nothing if not a low hanging fruit."

 

[TheAngryKoala]

"Since Batman is the most capable fictional character before Jesus *OOH EDGY*"

 

[Krantos]

"and so he did. Then he ate his own shoe."

Or "Special as in I'm sorry my son ate your shoe, he's a little special."

...huh. Didn't notice until right now that they both deal with eating shoes. odd.

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

There's some gems in the Final Fantasy XIII review.

"Some people have told me that Final Fantasy XIII gets better about twenty hours in. You realise that's not really a point in it's favor, right? Put your hand on a stove for twenty hours and, sure, you'll stop feeling the pain, but you'll have done some serious damage to yourself!"

"From what I've gathered so far, the two most main characters are Lighting and Snow; two things that could ruin a picnic. There's also a main supporting character named Hope, as in: 'I hope we can finish up this picnic before any Lightning or Snow arrives!' "

And from Dead Rising 2:

*Says something about the story being poorly written* "...This is Capcom we're talking about, after all. Capcom make stories in the same way your washing machine makes potato salad."

 

[Josef Lev]

"Action being outnumbered by cutscenes and muddy-menudriven-micromanagment-motherfuckery." from valkiria Chronicles and
"Feel free to mistake it for Aliens vs Predator realesed for PC and Mac in 1999 because its THE SAME FUCKING GAME(many marked similarities)"
PS.also "I swear those motherfuckers started hunting in packs" from AssCreed 2

 

[dslatch]

"I know what your going to say, YAHTZEE you charismatic stallion!" wouldnt say that myself but still fucking funny (and badge worthy it would seem)