What keeps you awake at night?
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Social anxiety, caused by the ever creeping feeling that I have to go back to work in the morning.
I'm told repeatedly that I'm a hard worker and I am incessantly focused on getting my work done, but I'm told (rudely by customers, kindly by my coworkers) that my ability to work with customers is spotty at best.
Often times I'm forcing myself through every social encounter in this frantic daze or occasional stuttering and irrational fears. I sweat, I'm paranoid, and the thought of all this has provided me many sleepless nights. All for $9 an hour.
I'm told repeatedly that I'm a hard worker and I am incessantly focused on getting my work done, but I'm told (rudely by customers, kindly by my coworkers) that my ability to work with customers is spotty at best.
Often times I'm forcing myself through every social encounter in this frantic daze or occasional stuttering and irrational fears. I sweat, I'm paranoid, and the thought of all this has provided me many sleepless nights. All for $9 an hour.
My crushing self hatred and self loathing, the feeling I'm never good enough and will in the end be a minuscule blip in the history of earth...
Or the stupid fucking train that runs right past my apartment, seriously screw that thing.
EDIT: Or my cat, he's gotten better but sometimes he still bolts around the place trying to catch the ghost of the old witch who lived here 200 years ago.
Or the stupid fucking train that runs right past my apartment, seriously screw that thing.
EDIT: Or my cat, he's gotten better but sometimes he still bolts around the place trying to catch the ghost of the old witch who lived here 200 years ago.
Yeah, I have a cat that does that. She will come in around 3:30am, and start with loving headbutts into my face, purring and rubbing against me. I'll pet her head and doze in an out of sleep. She'll keep this up for several minutes, trying to wake me up to feed her. Then, when that doesn't work, she starts knocking things off my nightstand to get me up. xDKallie said:My cat.
He's still at "playful kitten" age, and hasn't entirely learned that nighttime = sleepytime.
Plus, when he does go to sleep, he tends to lie on top of me and then... fidget. I'm sure he's nice and comfortable, at least
Now that it's winter time though, I suspect I will feel her sleeping on top of me more, as I bring out the winter blanket, which has this texture to it that cats just love to sleep on. It's sort of like a shag carpet material, but as a blanket.
OT: My cat, and random bouts of insomnia. Not too much really though. Well, I take that back. My back pain will make sleep temperamental for me, but that's just something that happens.
That one thing I should've done but didn't do.
Lock it out?Kallie said:My cat.
He's still at "playful kitten" age, and hasn't entirely learned that nighttime = sleepytime.
Plus, when he does go to sleep, he tends to lie on top of me and then... fidget. I'm sure he's nice and comfortable, at least
I've always been a night owl, as far back as I can remember...and that fact, coupled with a second shift job, has lead me to view evenings as my days.
So I'm usually up until the sun rises.
Otherwise?
Equal parts mortality and regret.
So I'm usually up until the sun rises.
Otherwise?
Equal parts mortality and regret.
But he's so cute...Johnny Novgorod said:Lock it out?Kallie said:My cat.
He's still at "playful kitten" age, and hasn't entirely learned that nighttime = sleepytime.
Plus, when he does go to sleep, he tends to lie on top of me and then... fidget. I'm sure he's nice and comfortable, at least
Actually, if I shut him out he'll spend several hours scratching and meowing at the door, trying to get back in - it's harder to get to sleep when he's doing that than if I just let him sleep on my bed
Generally if I don't have something on to distract my brain, it always ends up thinking about my own death, what it feels like to pass into nonexistance, the fact that I'm not the healthiest individual so I'm likely to die earlier than most until I get a near full-on panic attack and can't fall asleep... You know, typical young adult thoughts.
I had gotten to the point where I didn't need to be distracted to fall asleep for a while but lately it's been back in full force, I think probably due to having been in total groundhog day mode when I was deployed to Africa over the last year. Languishing in boredom tends to bring out the worst in my thought processes.
I had gotten to the point where I didn't need to be distracted to fall asleep for a while but lately it's been back in full force, I think probably due to having been in total groundhog day mode when I was deployed to Africa over the last year. Languishing in boredom tends to bring out the worst in my thought processes.
The Future
Insomnia
My [REDACTED]In other words, TIM keeps me awake at night...
Other than that, the fear of losing those that care for thee the most on top of the constant reminder of all the things I want to do, but can't because I don't make enough, on average, to do such things in general... <url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0AYC3fFcxI>Good Night!
Insomnia
My [REDACTED]In other words, TIM keeps me awake at night...
Other than that, the fear of losing those that care for thee the most on top of the constant reminder of all the things I want to do, but can't because I don't make enough, on average, to do such things in general... <url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0AYC3fFcxI>Good Night!
Overactive conscience.
It's like having an annoying, inquisitive child in a bed next to mine that keeps asking questions, is never satisfied with any answers I give it, does not respond to demands to shut the fuck up, and only lets me sleep when IT gets tired.
I've been this way as long as I can remember, and have been told that that's a sign of intelligence. I've also been told that having very warm hands is a sign of intelligence, too, so I don't really take statements like that very seriously.
It's like having an annoying, inquisitive child in a bed next to mine that keeps asking questions, is never satisfied with any answers I give it, does not respond to demands to shut the fuck up, and only lets me sleep when IT gets tired.
I've been this way as long as I can remember, and have been told that that's a sign of intelligence. I've also been told that having very warm hands is a sign of intelligence, too, so I don't really take statements like that very seriously.
Jesus, the responses in this thread are going to keep me up at night. Kinda bummed to hear about things like chronic pain.
Believe it or not, this exact thing happens to me once in a while, but I really enjoy it. I want it to go on, not stop.AccursedTheory said:
You see Him too...? O.OGrumbleGrump said:
OT: I've always been super lucky and very rarely have trouble falling asleep (except for occasions where I'm sick or whatnot but that's not common).
Right now, I've been feeling a bit sick because I (finally) got a new job. It pays a lot more money than the old job but...I'm petrified I've made a mistake.
I used to work at a tech support call center (those of you who used to know I don't need to say more and you may have inadvertently made the sign of the cross. If you've never worked at a call center, know this; I made a vow to myself that if the option was to go homeless or go back to that job, I would start driving south to get into warmer climates because I'm not going back there.
I took a promotion at work that put me into a call center. *Sign of Cross
Now to be fair to the job, EVERYTHING I hated about the tech call center is not here. I don't need to up-sell shit they don't need to people who are already pissed off. I don't need to worry about "metrics" (how long you are allowed to keep a customer on the phone before having to find any excuse to force them off). Hell, I don't even need to worry about CSATS (customer satisfaction surveys that determine your pay).
I've been doing the job for about a month now but I am still afraid that I've made a huge mistake. I've yet to see anything in this job that validates that fear but that tech support job has put such a fear in my heart over this job that it hurts. Now on the plus side, I'm confident this will get better as I learn the job and see that this is nothing like the tech support one but still...that little nagging doubt in the back of my mind makes it hard to fall asleep to go to that job in the morning...
Time...
...or lack there of. There's just so much that I want to do, get involved with, play, make, create, explore, etc. that it seems like I need to take a few chunks out of my sleep schedule just to get even a sizable fraction of that time back.
It's nothing specifically that prevents me from doing what I want on my spare time. I just have a lot of things on my plate that when they are all done and neatly filed away, I have like a couple of hours free to do what I would usually take several hours to enjoy.
My 2016 New Year's Resolution will probably to be work on time efficiency, since it's the only thing that I feel will really benefit me in the future.
...or lack there of. There's just so much that I want to do, get involved with, play, make, create, explore, etc. that it seems like I need to take a few chunks out of my sleep schedule just to get even a sizable fraction of that time back.
It's nothing specifically that prevents me from doing what I want on my spare time. I just have a lot of things on my plate that when they are all done and neatly filed away, I have like a couple of hours free to do what I would usually take several hours to enjoy.
My 2016 New Year's Resolution will probably to be work on time efficiency, since it's the only thing that I feel will really benefit me in the future.
Money mainly. Now I have a job it's a whole other ball game. Will I have enough money to cover christmas, rent, council tax, the internet bill, cat food, cat litter and food for myself and boyfriend? Seriously, it haunts me everyday. I'm careful with money though, I know what it's like to have not a penny to my name and wondering where the fuck tomorrow's dinner is going to come from.
But now, with the job I'm finally clearing up the mess left by being on benefits and dealing with the council. It's hard work to get them off my back, and that keeps me up at night sometimes, but I'm working through it.
But now, with the job I'm finally clearing up the mess left by being on benefits and dealing with the council. It's hard work to get them off my back, and that keeps me up at night sometimes, but I'm working through it.
Mushrooms, hallucinations and monsters under my bed, and sometimes thinking about the past, the present and the future.