What would happen if you shot a portal gun in your mouth?

[Anarchemitis]

It's an ununiform non-convex surface as well as the surface area would be too small to tolerate the size of the portal without interportal overlap, so the portal would reject the surface, just like it rejects dense metal and liquids.

 

[VanQ]

Actually yeah, I'm gonna officially suggest this:

Yellow portal in mouth
Shoot blue portal at wall at waist height
Insert penis
???
Profit!

Now THAT'S what I call a glory hole! Wait a minute though, if you shot the yellow portal into the back of your mouth, wouldn't your penis come out of your mouth head first? Inversed fellatio? I'm worried that someone, somewhere, probably gets off on that.

Dammit, we are thinking about this way too much to be normal.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Actually yeah, I'm gonna officially suggest this:

Yellow portal in mouth
Shoot blue portal at wall at waist height
Insert penis
???
Profit!

Now THAT'S what I call a glory hole!

Dammit, we are thinking about this way too much to be normal.

Yeah...I'm currently planning a permanent 2-way portal between my bedroom and my boyfriend's...I wish someone would hurry up and invent this damn thing!

 

[SoloStoffe]

Actually yeah, I'm gonna officially suggest this:

Yellow portal in mouth
Shoot blue portal at wall at waist height
Insert penis
???
Profit!

But... wouldn't that make your penis poke out of your mouth...?

OH GOD THE HORROR

 

[MrShadowzs]

you could never eat again

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Actually yeah, I'm gonna officially suggest this:

Yellow portal in mouth
Shoot blue portal at wall at waist height
Insert penis
???
Profit!

But... wouldn't that make your penis poke out of your mouth...?

OH GOD THE HORROR

It's not a fully-realised idea, there's some stuff to work out. But I'm willing to work at it to perfect this process!

 

[UltraDeth]

Idea: Fire one colour into mouth + Other colour at feet = Eat yourself *Poker face*

 

[jawakiller]

I know this is a really odd but portal 2 is coming out in a couple of days so it is kind of topical.... Yeah lets go with that so I wondered some really odd questions, so what do you think would happen.

Totally off topic but that is a truly fucking epic profile picture. Sorry, had to say that.

OT: Valve won't let me shoot anything but walls and floors... Cheeky little bastards!

 

[ZeZZZZevy]

Yea didn't GLaDOS warn you against such practices?
personally, I believe you'd have a really large mess on your hands. Or, well, your friends would, and you'd be the mess.

 

[AMMO Kid]

If you could put it in your butt then when you pooped oyu would just deposit it in the ocean or something like that...

Never having to wipe again could be really sweet

 

[The Funslinger]

Actually yeah, I'm gonna officially suggest this:

Yellow portal in mouth
Shoot blue portal at wall at waist height
Insert penis
???
Profit!

Now THAT'S what I call a glory hole! Wait a minute though, if you shot the yellow portal into the back of your mouth, wouldn't your penis come out of your mouth head first? Inversed fellatio? I'm worried that someone, somewhere, probably gets off on that.

Dammit, we are thinking about this way too much to be normal.

It would work if you put your mouth to a portal that was on a wall.

 

[NathLines]

Depends. Do you have a huge, flat, white wall inside your mouth? In that case you're dead no matter how many portals you get shot into your mouth will change that.

 

[Couch Radish]

You'd discover the easiest way to eat EVER.

 

[Jegsimmons]

well assuming you made it to where it worked on non flat surfaces, you may have invented a way to auto-fellatio easier.
HA! i kid.
im assuming it may hurt like hell.

 

[Peter Donaldson]

youd have a portal on the back of your throat, why do you think will happen?

 

[Someone Depressing]

I wander what would happen if you shot a Blue-Portal in the back of your mouth, and an Orange-Portal on the ground, and "Jumped" down.

Probally searing pain, possible death, and the ability to say "I Jumped through my own mouth!"

 

[TheScottishFella]

I know this is a really odd but portal 2 is coming out in a couple of days so it is kind of topical.... Yeah lets go with that so I wondered some really odd questions, so what do you think would happen.

Totally off topic but that is a truly fucking epic profile picture. Sorry, had to say that.

Thank you very much.

 

[Fooz]

I know this is a really odd but portal 2 is coming out in a couple of days so it is kind of topical.... Yeah lets go with that so I wondered some really odd questions, so what do you think would happen.

your avatar is hilarious, im setting it as my college computer background right now

as for the portal thing, i dunna

 

[Cheesus333]

I imagine that, if the portal opened successfully, it would tear your head wide-fucking-open.

However, it needs a flat surface and your mouth... isn't. So that thing it does when it hits an unsuitable surface would probably just rip your skull up.

Either way, Ashpuhduh + Inside of person = Bad times + Messy floors.