What's the acceptable age difference in a relationship?

[Vanilla_Druid]

It is not my opinion only. It is the opinion of enough people in my society that there are laws prohibiting those things. The only morality is the collective morality. To the Japanese perhaps we are barbarians.

The general opinion that Japanese people have of Occidentals is that we are, indeed, "hairy barbarians."

 

[mattvwj]

Plus, I am pretty much convinced humans used to have children when they were 15. I don't know how could have we ever survived before we invented the consenting age.

So, I'd kinda like actual sources to those findings.

I don't have any sources but i think when it comes to the whole 'humans used to have children at 15' that's a totally different issue; These days, our society as a whole is pretty invested in keeping the idea that we are, at least legally, children until at least 16. Technically humans can conceive and even take till full term from around 12, possibly younger, though this would probably lead to complications. But the original human society that would favour younger childbirth would have been a short lived one, without modern medicine, so there would be a shorter span to allow for childbirth and the death rate in infants would have been high; whereas now, not only is this not so, people, at least in my opinion, mature later and we are able to stretch the perceived childhood later.

Also, moral relativism only works in some cases, murder and peadophilia (and other crimes)are not morally justified even in the most anarchic societies.

 

[Vanilla_Druid]

I think it was How I Met Your Mother that established the rule: "Your age plus 7, divided by 2."

You mean "(age/2)+7"? I am sorry for correcting you, it is just that the results of this formula create some -interesting- reactions. For example: I am 18, so (18+7)/2= 12.5; and I am not a fan of lolis.

 

[irishda]

Its kinda weird, for an example a 17 or 18 year old dating a 15 year old is a bit weird but fastfoward another 10 years and a 27 year old dating a 25 year old is more than acceptable, why is that :S

Who people are change dramatically from year to year during adolescence and early 20s. As time goes on, people change less and less frequently, and so differences in age aren't that big of a deal. To use your example of 2 year increments, rewind the clock even further. From the time you're born to the time you're 2, you've gone from a helpless feeding machine, to someone that can walk (albeit awkwardly) and probably say one or two words. By the time you're 4, you can say complete sentences and can run without much trouble. By the time you're 6, you now know basic math and have basic reading and writing skills. Even all the way up to high school and early college, every two years sees dramatic shifts in a person's capabilities. But as time goes on, these leaps in experience and learning come less and less frequently.

That's why it's so hard for those high school romances to last so long, the person you started dating even as little as six months ago might be a whole different person tomorrow. Conversely, once you get beyond 24 or so (the number's a bit arbitrary but mid-twenties is usually right), people remain pretty static for most of their life. Any sort of dramatic change takes years or decades.

 

[ElPatron]

But the original human society that would favour younger childbirth would have been a short lived one, without modern medicine

We lived without modern medicine for 200,000 years. There was no "original society" back then. We consisted on communities and the oldest evidence of a "society" are "only" 50,00 years old.

It's just that the complications mentioned in those websites also apply to every woman, not just teenagers. The number of c-sections performed has been rising in the past decades, it's not just teens who have them.

So yeah, I don't completely trust those websites.

 

[mattvwj]

But the original human society that would favour younger childbirth would have been a short lived one, without modern medicine

We lived without modern medicine for 200,000 years. There was no "original society" back then. We consisted on communities and the oldest evidence of a "society" are "only" 50,00 years old.

It's just that the complications mentioned in those websites also apply to every woman, not just teenagers. The number of c-sections performed has been rising in the past decades, it's not just teens who have them.

So yeah, I don't completely trust those websites.

Ok, so my use of 'Society' is perhaps misjudged, but i think my point still stands. Yes all pregnancies can go through complications, but i was more talking about the sociological standpoint. Younger childbirth was needed in many societies (As well as communities earlier on) because the average lifespan was much younger. Even, say, 1500 years ago, in the roman empire, the average age of death was 34 (not including some of the higher classes) so middle age would have been around 20 (although this term probably wouldn't have made much sense) so, logically, younger childbirth would have been better, as the parents would have stood more chance of surviving long enough to provide for the infant. However, because of our much greater lifespans (owing in no small part to 'Modern' medicine) it makes more sense to allow our youngsters to mature more slowly, so they are more prepared for adulthood and parenthood. Although judging by people today, this has not been totally successful.

 

[Braedan]

A 18 year old dating a 15 year old is weird because a 15 year old can not handle a serious relationship.

As well, the changes in personality and maturity that happen during those years is huge.

 

[ElPatron]

Younger childbirth was needed in many societies (As well as communities earlier on) because the average lifespan was much younger. Even, say, 1500 years ago, in the roman empire, the average age of death was 34 (not including some of the higher classes) so middle age would have been around 20 (although this term probably wouldn't have made much sense) so, logically, younger childbirth would have been better, as the parents would have stood more chance of surviving long enough to provide for the infant.

Still, you are viewing everything from a sociological standpoint.

I am viewing trough a biological. When a being reaches sexual maturity, it starts looking for partners to mate with. And we still do, even if it doesn't grants results.

This predates our recognition of the advantages you mentioned.

Although judging by people today, this has not been totally successful.

QFT.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

It has nothing to do with maturity or biology, it's just whether it's weird or not. The general rule, as stated 500 times in this thread already, of age/2 + 7 seems to fit the way we think. You don't have to follow the rule and it isn't 100% accurate but it offers a halfway decent guess at what's acceptable.

Maturity, ha, how naive are you guys?

 

[AmayaOnnaOtaku]

1/2 my age plus 7 would be 23, ehhh. On the other end of the spectrum I don't like going higher than 5 years older.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

There is no limits, provided both parties are adults. The 16/18 age thing is only weird because at school you are separated into year groups, so the distance of one year is made more of a distance by the segregation of ages. This is why when you're 16 and dating an 18 year old it seems scandalous, but being 23 and dating a 25 year old is completely normal.

/Thread, need anyone say more?

At school age, you are divided, at work you are mangled with everyone else, just something society has accepted.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Rule of thumb: There is ALWAYS a relevant XKCD comic for every situation. Here ye are.

Came here to post this. Can we just sticky this damn thing? It gets asked way too often.

 

[ph0b0s123]

I like what happens with the half age + 7 if taken to extremes (what mathematicians / physicists like to do with formulas, that's how Black Holes were predicted after all).

12 / 2 + 7 = 13

8 / 2 + 7 = 11

4 / 2 + 7 = 9

I think it brakes down under 14, as it effectively tells you someone your own age is wrong....

 

[mattvwj]

Younger childbirth was needed in many societies (As well as communities earlier on) because the average lifespan was much younger. Even, say, 1500 years ago, in the roman empire, the average age of death was 34 (not including some of the higher classes) so middle age would have been around 20 (although this term probably wouldn't have made much sense) so, logically, younger childbirth would have been better, as the parents would have stood more chance of surviving long enough to provide for the infant.

Still, you are viewing everything from a sociological standpoint.

I am viewing trough a biological. When a being reaches sexual maturity, it starts looking for partners to mate with. And we still do, even if it doesn't grants results.

This predates our recognition of the advantages you mentioned.

Fair enough. If you're looking at it purely biologically, then yeah, as soon as sexual maturity is reached, instinctively the male and female of a species will look for a mate, its only our social conditioning that prevents this is most cases. Thank you for an intelligent argument, it is nice to get the brain working now and again!

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

a baby that can be delivered vaginally when the mother is 20 is often too large to have been delivered vaginally when she was 14 years old.

So, I mean you can take your pick on what you want to believe.

That part made me think of the Nicholas Cage image macro "You don't say?"
I am by no means an expert on underage vaginae, but I am sure that a 14 year old teen is physically different when she gets to 15-16.

Look, I am by no means defending teenage pregnancy. But:

- Teenage pregnancy isn't related to difference of ages. So it might have been a 17 year old knocking up a 15 year old girl. That's an issue of stupidity, because it could have been a 14-15 year old anyway.

- Those websites, whenever they link to something, they are linking to themselves or other "teen problems" websites. If they knew what they were doing I am sure they would not have any problems linking to medical/scientific research.

Again, we need a lot of c-sections on *grown women* too, not just teenagers. I think it has more to do with our lifestyles than the age you get knocked up, because sincerely I don't see our ancestors waiting until they were 18.

Not busting your chops, but I didn't think any site or font of information was going to change your mind, but I put it out there anyway. Again, this wasn't my original source of information like I pointed out in that post, it was my sex ed teacher.

However, any trauma to a developing body is important. People are yes, still growing at 15. Bodies are different. Lumping teen pregnancy into 'it's ok' or 'it's not ok' is folly because the individual will always be different. I'm going to see it my way, and please, continue to see it your way.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

1/2 my age plus 7 works just fine.

[sub][sub]Moo! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9iIgQN5uZE][/sub][/sub]

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

Two or more consenting parties of full sexual maturity and almost full psychological maturity.

OR

Two or more consenting parties of pre sexual maturity and appropriate psychological maturity.


That is as far open as the door need be.

1/2 my age plus 7 works just fine.

[sub][sub]Moo! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9iIgQN5uZE][/sub][/sub]

SON, I AM DISAPPOINT

 

[That_Sneaky_Camper]

When it gets creepy to me is when someone reaches old age and they try to date someone much younger. If both parties are young I don't find much problem with it. Maybe that is just my biology speaking.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

Who cares? It's none of our business. You know, unless it's illegal.

I admit, it's weird to see a 60-year-old with, say, a 20-year-old, but it could be love. Weirder things have happened. Who are we to judge those we know nothing about? If we do that, we're assholes.