What's the acceptable age difference in a relationship?

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

It has nothing to do with maturity or biology, it's just whether it's weird or not. The general rule, as stated 500 times in this thread already, of age/2 + 7 seems to fit the way we think. You don't have to follow the rule and it isn't 100% accurate but it offers a halfway decent guess at what's acceptable.

Maturity, ha, how naive are you guys?

 

[AmayaOnnaOtaku]

1/2 my age plus 7 would be 23, ehhh. On the other end of the spectrum I don't like going higher than 5 years older.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

There is no limits, provided both parties are adults. The 16/18 age thing is only weird because at school you are separated into year groups, so the distance of one year is made more of a distance by the segregation of ages. This is why when you're 16 and dating an 18 year old it seems scandalous, but being 23 and dating a 25 year old is completely normal.

/Thread, need anyone say more?

At school age, you are divided, at work you are mangled with everyone else, just something society has accepted.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Rule of thumb: There is ALWAYS a relevant XKCD comic for every situation. Here ye are.

Came here to post this. Can we just sticky this damn thing? It gets asked way too often.

 

[ph0b0s123]

I like what happens with the half age + 7 if taken to extremes (what mathematicians / physicists like to do with formulas, that's how Black Holes were predicted after all).

12 / 2 + 7 = 13

8 / 2 + 7 = 11

4 / 2 + 7 = 9

I think it brakes down under 14, as it effectively tells you someone your own age is wrong....

 

[mattvwj]

Younger childbirth was needed in many societies (As well as communities earlier on) because the average lifespan was much younger. Even, say, 1500 years ago, in the roman empire, the average age of death was 34 (not including some of the higher classes) so middle age would have been around 20 (although this term probably wouldn't have made much sense) so, logically, younger childbirth would have been better, as the parents would have stood more chance of surviving long enough to provide for the infant.

Still, you are viewing everything from a sociological standpoint.

I am viewing trough a biological. When a being reaches sexual maturity, it starts looking for partners to mate with. And we still do, even if it doesn't grants results.

This predates our recognition of the advantages you mentioned.

Fair enough. If you're looking at it purely biologically, then yeah, as soon as sexual maturity is reached, instinctively the male and female of a species will look for a mate, its only our social conditioning that prevents this is most cases. Thank you for an intelligent argument, it is nice to get the brain working now and again!

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

a baby that can be delivered vaginally when the mother is 20 is often too large to have been delivered vaginally when she was 14 years old.

So, I mean you can take your pick on what you want to believe.

That part made me think of the Nicholas Cage image macro "You don't say?"
I am by no means an expert on underage vaginae, but I am sure that a 14 year old teen is physically different when she gets to 15-16.

Look, I am by no means defending teenage pregnancy. But:

- Teenage pregnancy isn't related to difference of ages. So it might have been a 17 year old knocking up a 15 year old girl. That's an issue of stupidity, because it could have been a 14-15 year old anyway.

- Those websites, whenever they link to something, they are linking to themselves or other "teen problems" websites. If they knew what they were doing I am sure they would not have any problems linking to medical/scientific research.

Again, we need a lot of c-sections on *grown women* too, not just teenagers. I think it has more to do with our lifestyles than the age you get knocked up, because sincerely I don't see our ancestors waiting until they were 18.

Not busting your chops, but I didn't think any site or font of information was going to change your mind, but I put it out there anyway. Again, this wasn't my original source of information like I pointed out in that post, it was my sex ed teacher.

However, any trauma to a developing body is important. People are yes, still growing at 15. Bodies are different. Lumping teen pregnancy into 'it's ok' or 'it's not ok' is folly because the individual will always be different. I'm going to see it my way, and please, continue to see it your way.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

1/2 my age plus 7 works just fine.

[sub][sub]Moo! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9iIgQN5uZE][/sub][/sub]

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

Two or more consenting parties of full sexual maturity and almost full psychological maturity.

OR

Two or more consenting parties of pre sexual maturity and appropriate psychological maturity.


That is as far open as the door need be.

1/2 my age plus 7 works just fine.

[sub][sub]Moo! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9iIgQN5uZE][/sub][/sub]

SON, I AM DISAPPOINT

 

[That_Sneaky_Camper]

When it gets creepy to me is when someone reaches old age and they try to date someone much younger. If both parties are young I don't find much problem with it. Maybe that is just my biology speaking.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

Who cares? It's none of our business. You know, unless it's illegal.

I admit, it's weird to see a 60-year-old with, say, a 20-year-old, but it could be love. Weirder things have happened. Who are we to judge those we know nothing about? If we do that, we're assholes.

 

[bullet_sandw1ch]

youre age divided by 2 plus 7 is a flawed system.
example:
80 year old = 80/2 = 40 + 7 = 47 ?????????

 

[Brutal Peanut]

My spouse is seven years older then I am - didn't seem to bother either of us...or anyone else for that matter. Probably because when we met and the relationship became serious, I was nineteen and only a couple months from twenty.

As long as everyone is legally an adult and consents to the relationship, it's not really my business. Doesn't mean I still don't get the heebie-jeebies from 60 year-old sugar-daddies and their (just-turned) 18 year-old arm candies.

 

[Souplex]

There's the age-old rule of "Older party's age/2 +7".

 

[Fujimora_Pantsu]

Personally? The older a person is, the larger the age bracket I can accept them going out with.
A 20 year old and a 40 year old is a big no-no, but a 70 and 90 year old is fine to me.

 

[Starik20X6]

The aforementioned xkcd rule is a good benchmark, but I've broken it before... They emotional and physical maturity of both parties also plays a part in whether or not it's weird for two people to date.

 

[VelvetHorror]

I could be evidence on how there isn't much of a limit as long as it is consensual and legal. I am 22 years old and am in a relationship with a 43 year old woman. We're even living together now. At first I thought our relationship was odd/unusual but I quickly grew not to care what others might think. We make eachother happy, laugh, and we are intellectual equals.

I think the thing that really matters is what you are looking for. If you are looking for someone to go clubbing with, generally you want someone who is young. If you want someone that you can enjoy a relaxing evening with at home, watching a movie, generally you want someone older.

I had been in a few relationships with women my age and they didn't work the way I had hoped. I have found that women my age are looking for guys that have qualities that would further down the line, make them hate them. These are called the douche bags. However my girlfriend had already been down that road and didn't like where it ended up. She's had some experience and has a good head on her shoulder that I admire.

To me, as long as it's legal, consensual, and true; don't care about what others think about it. Love is love, simple as that. I don't care a single bit if someone stares when I give my girlfriend a kiss in the grocery store.(or a quick grope )

 

[manic_depressive13]

lol Why don't you put some more words into my mouth.

I can't with what you've given me here. First I need some straw to build my men.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I've always heard the acceptable low end was half your age, plus 7.

That's just a silly internet meme.

Actually it's been around a lot longer than that! I heard it way back when I was in school!

Um, if your birthday is correct in your profile then you would have been in school for the early days of the internet.

Aye, that would be correct, but back in the early days when people didn't get facts and information from the internet... in fact most people didn't even use the internet then! We didn't have it in school, we had Acorn computers... and then we had Windows 98, but no internet...! It was one of those facts that people just kind of knew, and spread!

 

[Brightzide]

Im 20 and dating a 23 year old. Once you break free of the binds of the school systems age sorting, it doesnt seem nearly as big a gap or difference. You're both adults by this point too, so dont look at it any other way.