What's there to be ashamed of for living with your folks still?

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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Isn't it kinda douchebag elitist to judge people on their financial situation? Isn't wrong to tie one's personal self worth to holding a materialistic object? Isn't it... kinda not realistic to expect everyone's situation to be the same (Elderly parents)? Doesn't it kinda fly in the face of liberal ideology to judge people this way?

NEXT TIME: Cheetos... Why do we mock people for enjoying what is essentially, a damn acceptable snack food.
 

Diablo1099_v1legacy

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Dec 12, 2009
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Well, it's more down to people holding Millennials to the standards and norms they themselves grew up in.
I remember there was a good R&P thread about it some time ago but it boils down to the fact that in the past, a lot of younger people would have their own residences at that point in time, therefore not having their own house is seen as a sign of failure on the part of the younger people rather then just the hand they've been dealt because of the current state of the market and the fact that, in the US at least, Wages haven't kept up with the cost of living while a lot of the older parents already have their mortgages and such paid off for possibly years at that point.

When it's older people we're talking about, namely the 30-40s, the effect is increased as they are often seen as man-children or bums who can't "Leave the Nest".
While I see it more on a case by case basis (Namely I'd give that Return of Kings guy more shit for living with his mom then I would a college student still getting an education), it just comes down to old preconceived notions of measuring one's worth.
After all, if you don't have a house then CLEARLY you aren't working hard enough to get enough money to get one.
 

DudeistBelieve

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Sep 9, 2010
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I'm guessing there is some sort of Cheetos advert that is mocking people who live at home, OP?

As a dirty Brit I don't think I've seen it. Got a link?

As for the overall theme of the topic, I know a lot of people who, like you say, still live with their parents for reasons of care or even financial reasons. There's also social and cultural reasons. I know a friend who is a Muslim girl, and she lives at home despite being in her late 20's, because, she has chosen not to get married, but at the same time it would not be seen as acceptable for her to move out and live on her own without a husband, so, there's all sorts of reasons why.

Personally I couldn't care less. A bed to sleep in at night is all you need.
 

DudeistBelieve

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I've heard over in Spain/Italy/Whatever people don't even move out until their married. Just seems like a stupid thing to belittle someone for.

FileTrekker said:
I'm guessing there is some sort of Cheetos advert that is mocking people who live at home, OP?
The "Fingers covered in Cheeto dust" is part of the holy triad of mockery... No? Unless the cool kids are insulting people differently these days.
 

DudeistBelieve

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SaneAmongInsane said:
The "Fingers covered in Cheeto dust" is part of the holy triad of mockery... No? Unless the cool kids are insulting people differently these days.
Sorry, ignore me, I misread your post. I assumed you were calling Cheetos out for some reason, lol.
 

DudeistBelieve

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FileTrekker said:
SaneAmongInsane said:
The "Fingers covered in Cheeto dust" is part of the holy triad of mockery... No? Unless the cool kids are insulting people differently these days.
Sorry, ignore me, I misread your post. I assumed you were calling Cheetos out for some reason, lol.
XD Quite the opposite. DEFEND THE CHEETOS is what I say! Cheeto's has no place in bigotry, Cheetos should be loved by all.
 

s0denone

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Apr 25, 2008
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Depending where you're from, it is a sign of immaturity and failure, if you still live with your parents.

I moved out at 19 and I would consider it a colossal failure - and indeed consider myself one, if I had to move back with my mother or crash at one of my siblings.

Moving out is a sign of growing up and entering adulthood. Being dependant on your parents as a twenty-something-old is pretty pathetic in my eyes.

--And I've been to Spain, among other places, where some live with their parents into their thirties. Cultural differences but in view still quite odd.
 

BeeGeenie

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May 30, 2012
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Consider this: For thousands of years, there was no such thing as social mobility, so it has always been the norm to live with or at least near your parents, and pool your resources with your family. Also, consider that until 100 years ago, you were lucky to live in a log cabin with no plumbing. Those cost significantly less than the modern Mcmansion that everyone is "supposed" to own in order to qualify as "successful."

The ability to own a home, or even rent, is determined by economic factors, not just personal drive and desire.
s0denone said:
--And I've been to Spain, among other places, where some live with their parents into their thirties. Cultural differences but in view still quite odd.
Spain has one of the highest unemployment rates in the world, so it's hardly surprising.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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Jan 12, 2010
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SaneAmongInsane said:
Isn't it kinda douchebag elitist to judge people on their financial situation? Isn't wrong to tie one's personal self worth to holding a materialistic object? Isn't it... kinda not realistic to expect everyone's situation to be the same (Elderly parents)? Doesn't it kinda fly in the face of liberal ideology to judge people this way?
It's a sign of personal maturity, responsibility, and independence to be living away from one's parents. It's also a new idea, based on a 1950s/60s idea that one should be those things I mentioned. So parents can have their privacy.

I never had the chance to move out, I couldn't get a job when my mom was alive, or until my dad's third heart attack. Then I did get a low wage job to support my dad. Now we're both disabled and I take care of him while we do our best to scrape by. Granted he's still mobile and independent enough, but he can't keep track of his medications and needs help with housekeeping. On the flip side he helps me make sure I've taken my medications, especially my hormones, when I'm out of it.

People just like to shame others about such situations because moving away from your parents is a misguided standard of having "grown up"... Those people are smug ass elitists, especially because none of them have to take care of their parents.
 

Casual Shinji

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Well, it usually means you've got somekind of issues in your life, whether it be mental, physical, or financial. And everyone has issues, but when it causes you to live with your parents, it means you can't handle them, which I suppose is seen as a sign of weakness. And not the third world kind of weakness, but the kind you can look down on with a clear conscience.

I still live with my parents at 33, and I most certainly consider that a pathetic state of affairs, eventhough it's a codependency; If I move out, my parents have no choice but to go to a nursing home, which in all likelyhood would devastate my mom, who herself is supporting my ailing father. And since I don't have friends or an actual job, and am pretty much incapable of establishing and maintaining relationships, living on my own would send me into an even deeper state of isolation.

So knowing all that, it doesn't exactly paint a positive picture of me, whether I can do anything about my situation or not. Either you're seen as a loser, or someone with a ton of bagage that people just don't want to deal with. And I don't really blame them.
 

Gengisgame

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An ideology is made up of people, not robots and in the case of right vs left tribalism seems to often be more important than improvement.

The idea of not judging people only falls under the umbrella of protected things, as Bill Maher "you could date a man or tran but you'll get shit for dating a younger woman".

You will always be judged, whether people voice it is another matter.
 

SweetShark

Shark Girls are my Waifus
Jan 9, 2012
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In Greece is normal to live with your Parents.
I don't get why the other Countries [not all of them of course] see insulting to live with them.
I have a very successful job and I get along with them. Why the hate?
 

FirstNameLastName

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Would it be wrong of me to assume this has something to do with people pointing and laughing at Roosh when it was discovered that he was currently living with his parents for some indeterminate amount of time? If not, then sorry for assuming that, but if yes, I'd like to point out that the situation with Roosh isn't simply funny due to him living with his parents, it's funny because he has an ego the size of the moon and loves to make himself out to be some kind of pinnacle of masculinity who doesn't need women for anything but sex ... which sort of clashes with him living under mommy's roof.
 

Leg End

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Oct 24, 2010
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Because people tend to hold others to a standard they themselves did not actually live up to. How many people saying it inherited their house from their parents or got a loan from them?

Anyone taking it seriously can enjoy the lack of financial breathing room as you go balls deep with no savings and something goes terribly wrong, needing money to be fixed/replaced/your food supply caught fire because someone put out their cigarette on your crate of ramen.
 

SweetShark

Shark Girls are my Waifus
Jan 9, 2012
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Corey Schaff said:
Apparently, of all the places to live with your parents, in their basement is considered the absolute worst for some reason.

Course, when I was under the age of 10, it was my parents who lived in the basement.
Wait, what? What do you mean?
Do you mean when your parents was young stayed in their parents House basement? Or do you mean something else?
 

Joccaren

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Mar 29, 2011
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Its a case by case basis, but assuming you're a healthy human being, its seen as a sign of failure for a few reasons.

Firstly, the lack of independence or growing up it seems you have done. Moving out is a big moment in many people's lives, and kind of marks their progression into adulthood. I know people who were 18 and moved out on the day, whilst tackling Uni and such, even if it is with friends, and they support themselves fully. Its taken as a sign of maturity, and a control over your life that isn't as evident if you live with your parents.
This goes doubly so if you're not paying your parents board, and aren't helping out a lot around the house. Its seen that you simply can't take care of yourself, and that's an undesirable trait.

Additionally, in terms of relationships, something that is prescribed a high value in society, living with your parents is a big barrel of awkward that, unless you're young, no-one really wants to put up with. Especially as adults you don't want the thought of someone else's parents sitting in the room next to you listening to you have sex, or not being able to have some quality just calm time alone, because their parents are in the house too. It also makes it kind of awkward when first date come over to my place results in meeting with their parents, and you have to question whether they could support a long term relationship with you if they can't even support themselves. This is without the eventual complications of wanting children, and the awkwardness and just general painfulness of raising them infront of your partner's parents who keep telling you you're doing it wrong. In a relationship, living with your parents is undesirable and awkward, which makes it less likely that you'll get into a relationship [Perceived that way anyway, the truth is often different], which lowers your status in society's eyes.

Often its also simply just a sign of financial failure. If you can't afford to move out of your parent's place, of course people who can are going to view you as less successful than them - because you likely are - and not being successful is a sign of failure to many people. Yeah, there's probably circumstances and reasons why, but it doesn't change the fact that if you're not earning enough to move out of home, those who are are likely to view you as a failure in the business sense as well.

It is a cultural thing, however. Many Mediterranean families around here stick with their families throughout their life, and from comments in this thread it seems things are similar in the Mediterranean countries themselves. However, as a result of the high ability for financial success in the previous generations in more traditional Western civilizations like America, its seen as normal to move out of home, and a sign of failure not to. As economic conditions get worse, and a greater portion of the population becomes unable to do so, more will understand that its a failure enforced by the system, rather than on an individual's part, and the view of it will improve, as everyone is doing it by necessity. Whilst the majority still move out though, its likely that living with your parents will be seen as an undesirable trait by the wider population.