You don't rat out a friend, period. The best you can do is try to convince him to turn himself in.
When do you rat out a friend, if ever?
- Thread starter NotSoNimble
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No, I would not feel an ounce of guilt handing the person I love with every fiber of my being over to justice if they do something heinous. If they stole a loaf of bread, I wouldn't turn them in, but I would help them so they did not have to steal to survive. If they rape someone or kill an innocent, I would gladly do worse than the law would do to them. They wouldn't be the person I loved; they would only be a monster in my eyes. I have had few people come into my life that I would, without a second thought, lay down my life to protect, but if they were to commit one of those crimes, they would be dead to me.manic_depressive13 said:
Some crimes do not blow over and even if they do not directly hurt me, there is someone suffering deeply and that should not be forgiven.
Well no, I haven't, sorry.SimuLord said:
I agree, but if a person raped or murdered I would no longer consider them a friend, so I would feel no obligation towards them at all. If they were just cock-ups, but I liked their personality and thought they felt suitably guilty for the damage they caused, I would want to protect them.
Granted, the OP doesn't seem to have a very high opinion of this "friend". I don't see why he's so conflicted. Apparently this guy is some jerk who lies to everyone, including his friends, to make it seem like he was in the right.
Yeah, I'm pretty much the same. If it was something like a random fight that ended up with a mate killing someone, I'd probably keep it to myself if it seemed like it happened in the moment. If it was a random fight that my mate then went home and returned to the place a few hours later and stabbed the guy to death, then I'd most likely turn them in.SODAssault said:
In this particular situation, I wouldn't rat the friend out to the police necessarily, but I would definitely tell them to pay for the repairs to the car/settle it with the person they caused the damage to.
As a rule of thumb, that's my take on situations like this in general. If my friend were to, say, go rob a bank and I found out about it, of course I'd turn them in- that's an enormous crime.
As a rule of thumb, that's my take on situations like this in general. If my friend were to, say, go rob a bank and I found out about it, of course I'd turn them in- that's an enormous crime.
First off, you are answering your own question by labeling it "ratting him out". That carries heavily negative connotations and implies that no matter what you think you should do, your sense of honor, comraderie, or (if we are honest) understandable cowardice. Confessing guilt is hard, no matter who you are confessing for, but you seem, for your own reasons, to subconciously avoid direct involvement or confrontation. Just an observation.
Secondly, I think it is the best kind of friendship when you can tell the other guy what he doesn't want to hear. He might hate you for it, but that's his problem. Be the bigger man.
Here is an example, that is 100% true. I had two old friends who I don't really talk to anymore, but I know them well enough to know the whole story. One of them (we'll call A) started smoking weed in 8th grade. A told the other friend (B) that if A got sucked into drugs, that B would tell A's mom, or some authority figure, so A could be helped. If you know anything about life, you already know that A got sucked into drugs. He never got into anything harder, but he started dealing weed to friends. Before long (about a year), A started getting some phone calls from unknown numbers demanding weed, and A got scared. He brought a fake gun to school for psycological protection and was expelled because of it. Now, B knew about all of this, but A's mother had somehow remained oblivious. B told A's mom what was happening, A got into a lot of trouble, but was eventually reinstated in school and dropped the habit. As far as I know. A and B are still friends.
So yeah, do something. Because if you don't, it'll find a way to bite you in the ass.
Secondly, I think it is the best kind of friendship when you can tell the other guy what he doesn't want to hear. He might hate you for it, but that's his problem. Be the bigger man.
Here is an example, that is 100% true. I had two old friends who I don't really talk to anymore, but I know them well enough to know the whole story. One of them (we'll call A) started smoking weed in 8th grade. A told the other friend (B) that if A got sucked into drugs, that B would tell A's mom, or some authority figure, so A could be helped. If you know anything about life, you already know that A got sucked into drugs. He never got into anything harder, but he started dealing weed to friends. Before long (about a year), A started getting some phone calls from unknown numbers demanding weed, and A got scared. He brought a fake gun to school for psycological protection and was expelled because of it. Now, B knew about all of this, but A's mother had somehow remained oblivious. B told A's mom what was happening, A got into a lot of trouble, but was eventually reinstated in school and dropped the habit. As far as I know. A and B are still friends.
So yeah, do something. Because if you don't, it'll find a way to bite you in the ass.
It depends on how much I value the relationship, what they did, and how it could possibly benefit me.
But, for the most part, I would never rat out a true friend, unless they did something truly horrible. Things such as "kinda" friends I'd have little issue about backstabbing in such a manner.
In the situation described, however, I'd likely do nothing.
But, for the most part, I would never rat out a true friend, unless they did something truly horrible. Things such as "kinda" friends I'd have little issue about backstabbing in such a manner.
In the situation described, however, I'd likely do nothing.
That's the thing, the only way he will be faced with the blame is if he is ratted out.Tdc2182 said:
I might be, or I mean the guy might be, a coward at this point.
He will get crap from all of the friends who learn about it, (and they all will in time) but that won't phase him one bit. He is, and has always been, an ass. But when he is counted as one of the few people you confide in, one of the few that you call on for help, it's a big deal to turn on him. Even tho he clearly in the wrong, and has cost someone pain at a monetary value.
Since it's a stranger that has to suffer, I guess this about overall morals as apposed to right vs wrong. I know he was wrong, but at what point do morals overtake friendship?
