Where do babies come from?

[Angryman101]

"what holds up the earth?"

Atlas
What? That's what it is right?

Actually, Atlas held up the sky, not the earth. The 'celestial sphere'
OP:
When a girl I had been talking to found out I was atheist:
"So...like, do you have morals?"
I mean, the answer is of course no, but you shouldn't assume that from me being atheist

 

[bak00777]

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

My Brain hurts, and ive seen that before but cant remember where...ow!

 

[willsham45]

This is more the reply that was funny...
them- What you got there a guinea pig how cute.
me - no its a rat
them eu

And are you a girl or boy?

 

[DeepComet5581]

"what holds up the earth?"

Atlas
What? That's what it is right?

Actually, Atlas held up the sky, not the earth. The 'celestial sphere'
OP:
When a girl I had been talking to found out I was atheist:
"So...like, do you have morals?"
I mean, the answer is of course no, but you shouldn't assume that from me being atheist

We don't have morals. We have something better.

Common Sense.
Logic.
The ability to think freely.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

We don't have morals. We have something better.

Common Sense.
Logic.
The ability to think freely.

I have Common Sense, Logic, and the Ability to think Freely regardless of my Religious Upbringing (I am a Catholic, though most people here would swear I am a "Christian Deist"). Why? Because I don't think of god as some stiff prick who'll burn your face off if you look at him. To me, God is the most caring person in the universe, and is like "As long as your good out does your bad, you get into my kingdom", and he just laughs at anyone who makes fun of him and says "Yeah, that's funny".

OT:

(Gonna make up something)

"Since I have a Tail bone, where's my Tail?"
"How can I grow Candy Corn?"

 

[hazabaza1]

"Is Indian a religion?"
Asked by a 14 year old. Fuck, my generation has little to no hope, does it?

 

[RandomWords]

Can animals talk?

 

[ultimateownage]

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

You?ve got to be kidding me. I?ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It?s just common sense.

 

[willsham45]

Carrots grow in the ground? Asked by the oblivious city dweller being shocked by nature.

When someone is like that the thought is where did they think they came from...God knows what they would be like if the discovered what meat actually was or what eggs came out of.

 

[Elburzito]

"Who won World War 2?"

*Facepalm...

 

[emeraldrafael]

After setting about 3 tables at a restaurant the other busboy (whose supposed to be training me) comes over and asks me if I knew how to set the tables.

Were youi doing it worng?

I get asked constant stupid questions when i worked at a theatre, but i think my favorite was when i man walked out and said, "hey, i just watching my movie, and it wnet black and words started comming up. I wanna know hwo it ends! Why kinda scam is this?"

((it was a series movie. I forget which, after three years, they all blend together.)) but i couldnt help but laugh.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

''why are you soooo big''

This. I'm not trying to be the resident giant with all these recent posts about my height, but seriously, I had a dentist once ask me "Boy, how'd you get so tall?" like I was taking some secret dietary supplement that I could turn them onto. Do these same clueless dipshits walk into the local VA and ask soldiers if they were born without limbs? I'd like to include my most commonly-used witty comeback to this question that I hear so much of, but doing so would be embellishing on my part, because I don't have one; I mostly just act modest about it and try to explain that it's not a big deal. At all.

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU POINT OUT THAT UNINTENTIONAL PUN, I WILL BLUDGEON YOU UNTIL YOUR LIFELESS BODY LEAKS YOUR SOUL INTO THE NEAREST STORM DRAIN.

Im going to ignore serj tankians look of "dont do it you sneaky bastard " and go ahead.

Ahum:
"I think it actually IS a big deal haw haw haw"

When told about the hole in the ozone and the fact lightning strikes create ozone a girl asked if we could fly the ozone back up to the hole and fill it in. Jesus. Just jesus. This was 2 years ago when we were 15. I dont think theres an excuse.

 

[Nieroshai]

"You cant disprove existence of God".

Do it then.

 

[DeepComet5581]

We don't have morals. We have something better.

Common Sense.
Logic.
The ability to think freely.

I have Common Sense, Logic, and the Ability to think Freely regardless of my Religious Upbringing (I am a Catholic, though most people here would swear I am a "Christian Deist"). Why? Because I don't think of god as some stiff prick who'll burn your face off if you look at him. To me, God is the most caring person in the universe, and is like "As long as your good out does your bad, you get into my kingdom", and he just laughs at anyone who makes fun of him and says "Yeah, that's funny".

1. Do you go to Church?
2. Do you pray before meals?
3. Do you hate homosexuals?
4. Do you hate abortion?
5. Do you hate contraception?
6. Do you use God as an excuse for anything?
7. Do you quote the Bible where it isn't relevant?
8. Are you opposed to sex before marriage?

If you answered yes to 4 or less of them, then you are of tolerable faith. I abhor the restrictions religion puts on people. As if the restrictions by governments and laws weren't enough. I'll take all the personal freedom I can get, thank you very much.

 

[Nieroshai]

Back on topic: "God is dead."-Nietzsche

 

[Declaro]

"Why is your lip all weird?"

I was born with a cleft lip. (Incidentally this is a great way to pick a fight with my dad if he's around.) Usually said only by very stupid people. Another one:

"Is that a real tattoo?" said when I had my hand covered in henna. It was fading! And brownish-green! I mean, I get if you've never seen henna before but no tattoo is gonna look like that.

 

[BiffyClyroEqualsSex]

Also, someone stubbornly defended that SAS (the special air service, very famous in the UK) stood for "Save are souls", specifically mentioning that it was "are", rather then "our".
No joke.

Haha i've heard someone try and defend that before!

OT: This morning I was opening the door of the shop I work in, after I'd opened it, someone outside asked me what time we were opening...

i just replied "umm we're open now..."

 

[The Stonker]

Well a girl asked me the most stupid question when I was playing my ds.
Why do you play video games? :3 With a very bitchy act, and the only answer I gave her was this:
Well I would stop for about 10 minutes if you show me your tits.
So I got bitchslapped but I did make her feel importand and that's what matters in the long run! :3

And she was my girlfriend...Yeah I was a douche at the time.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

1. Do you go to Church?
2. Do you pray before meals?
3. Do you hate homosexuals?
4. Do you hate abortion?
5. Do you hate contraception?
6. Do you use God as an excuse for anything?
7. Do you quote the Bible where it isn't relevant?
8. Are you opposed to sex before marriage?

If you answered yes to 4 or less of them, then you are of tolerable faith. I abhor the restrictions religion puts on people. As if the restrictions by governments and laws weren't enough. I'll take all the personal freedom I can get, thank you very much.

1: No not really but I plan on starting when I am 18. I have gone to my Dad's Methodist church from time to time though.
2: Yes actually, I do.
3: No. I don't think god see's Homosexuality as a sin.
4: No.
5: Not at all.
6: Well, I do think god caused all the Sciences of the earth if that's what you mean.
7: Nope, not at all. But I have read the bible.
8: Nope.