Where do babies come from?

[Snake Plissken]

"Why are you reading?" and "How did native Americans shave?"

 

[Dash85]

Lots in retail, but my favourite actually happened to my friend who worked in a Tourist Information booth in Niagara Falls, Ontario. A tourist walked up and asked, no word of a lie here, "When do they turn off the Falls?"

 

[Lma0nade]

How do you spell bologna?

 

[KefkaCultist]

"Do you sell ice cream here?"
I work at an ice cream place with the display freeze right next to the counter and ice cream cone displays at front.

I was in gamestop when a 20-ish looking guy came up to the counter and asked the employee why his new xbox wasn't working. After going through all logical possibilities the employee told the guy to go get the xbox and bring it to the store. The employee asked the guy to turn on the xbox. The guy pushes the power button a few times and says, "see there's nothing." The employee looks at him and says, "It's not plugged in..." The man replies with, "Oh, it has to be plugged in?"
I kid you not escapists.

 

[Stickill]

"He, what is a liquid?"

"The sun revoles round the earth, right?"

"So there is no gravity on the moon?"

All the same person. She is an idiot.

 

[HK_01]

One of my friends asked my best friend (who was black) if he could get sunburned when we were 7 or 8. I had actually wanted to ask him the same question for a while but figured it wouldn't be received well.

So, um, what was the answer?

Did people see in black and white in 1914? It was unbelievable, the retard-o-meter was off the charts.

I wonder if that person thought that before the invention of photography people saw the world like a painting.

 

[Mikeyfell]

 

[ultimateownage]

"Where's Australia?"

(On videos of plants growing, sped up) "Do they really grow that fast?"

Girl: Did you cut your hair?

Me: (sarcastically) No, it just fell out.

Girl: Really?!

 

[KaosuHamoni]

"Can you get AIDS from kissing?" The dude's GF was sat right next to him. Oh the look of horror on her face xD

 

[Pyotr Romanov]

A girl in my friend's class once asked "So, is this now or in the past?".
It's funnier if you know that it was after a 50 minute lecture about the French Revolution during history class.

Hmmm.... That question could be philosophical (if taken out of context).

Indeed. This just about the only context where it isn't philosophical.
So sad...

 

[Sinisterair]

"You cant disprove existence of God".

AGHH!!! i h8 when bible thumpers say tht

 

[T-Bone24]

"Can I wear your glasses?"

No, you most certainly can not.

 

[Sinisterair]

I live in the UK.

Person: "So, do we have two Presidents now?"

My girlfriend: "...no, America has a President. We have a Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister."

Person: "Oh... so do we, like, own America then?"

I hate to use it, but.... /thread.

Holy shit. Are you sure they weren't American? I thought that kind of stupidity was only found here in America.

Nope, born in England. We're really not as brilliant as Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie make us out to be.

I would like to point out....every country has idiots....lots of them its all abt how u package it...like accents put a southern accent on a man and all of a sudden his I.Q drops 30 points. Also Girl in a U.S history class...."So the Germans ended up winning WWII right?"

 

[oktalist]

"Is that water they are spreading on the rink, or liquid ice?"

Asked by my science teacher on a school outing to an ice hockey match. [small]Okay, so technically she was my biology teacher, but until 10th grade all three branches of science are taught together, so she would also have taught physics and chemistry to the younger kids.[/small]

 

[Duruznik]

I present you with an entire (real) stupid conversation made up solely of stupid questions:

-"Where's London?"

-"Think, they speak English there, right?"

-"America?"

-"What? No! Think- they speak ENGLISH there."

-"Australia?"

-"NO! That's far too south!"

-"Antarctica?"

-"...What does that have to do with anythinng?! Think, it's next to Europe!"

-"Greenland?"

-"NO! It's ENGLAND! Just south of Scotland!"

-"Ohhh... Are you Scotlandish?"

-"Huh?"

So much stupid in one person...

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

''why are you soooo big''

This. I'm not trying to be the resident giant with all these recent posts about my height, but seriously, I had a dentist once ask me "Boy, how'd you get so tall?" like I was taking some secret dietary supplement that I could turn them onto. Do these same clueless dipshits walk into the local VA and ask soldiers if they were born without limbs? I'd like to include my most commonly-used witty comeback to this question that I hear so much of, but doing so would be embellishing on my part, because I don't have one; I mostly just act modest about it and try to explain that it's not a big deal. At all.

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU POINT OUT THAT UNINTENTIONAL PUN, I WILL BLUDGEON YOU UNTIL YOUR LIFELESS BODY LEAKS YOUR SOUL INTO THE NEAREST STORM DRAIN.

 

[C95J]

Where do babies come from:
YOUR MOM!!!!!!

It's true! It's all true!

 

[SnipErlite]

I'll probably get probation for this but...

"Can I get superpowers if I ejaculate into an electrical socket?"

0_O

Wait a second. Unless anyone has actually tried that, there is no definite answer......

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

"Did you get a haircut?" (After I had obviously got my hair cut)

"No, I've managed to learn how to suck my hair back into my skull. That's why my hair looks shorter."

*Awkward silence*