Where would you hide a dead body?

[Jolly Co-operator]

Hide the body? How wasteful. Now if you'll excuse me, it's dinner time.

 

[Little Woodsman]

Option 1--Stroll up to the mountains & give it as a present to a hungry bear.
Option 2--Another Dimension!
Option 3--Reanimate it and allow it to have a career in the fast food industry.
Option 4--Prop it in the corner with a game controller. Most people will never notice.
Option 5--With all of the others, DUH!
Option 6--Ebay it. (You're gonna go look for one there now, aren't you?)
Option 7--Put it in a parcel with false address & false return address. It will end up in the dead letter office of the postal service and no-one ever checks those.
Option 8--Feed it to my minions.
Option 9--Are you still reading these?
Option 10--Seriously?
Option 11--Don't you have anything better to do?
Option 12--I mean REALLY??
Option 13--These aren't even remotely funny anymore, what are you still doing here?

 

[h4xor555]

The classic hide it beneath a freshly dug grave.

So you go to a grave that's just been dug, dig a bit deeper, hide the body, and put dirt back in the grave so the grave looks untampered.

Then, the actual body will get burned above your victims body, and no one will ever know

 

[Mr. Happy Face]

Allow me to remove a few illusions.

Chopping up a body is one of either two things; hard or loud. If you do the job with something quiet, it's an awful lot of work, especially when you're talking bone and connective tissue. That stuff don't cut easy. But if you use something that makes the job a lot easier, like a chainsaw, you have the problem of noise. And unless you have a place way out in the middle of nowhere, you're going to attract attention sooner or later. And chopping up a body is ALWAYS messy. Unless you are paranoid levels of careful, you're going to be leaving microscopic bits wherever you do the job.

Acid is nice and quite, and tends to take care of pesky DNA evidence, but also has it's own set of problems. First is the type of acid to use. Not all acids will completely dissolve a body; quite a few will leave that pesky skeleton still about. And when you settle on a type of acid, you have to acquire it. Large amounts of the type of acid necessary can leave quite the paper trail for authorities to follow. Then there is the time factor. Acid is not quick. It can take hours to completely dissolve a body. Which brings us to the big problem with acid: the smell. Have you smelled flesh being broken down by acid? It's not a pleasant aroma, and again, unless you are in the middle of nowhere, you're going to attract quite a lot of attention.

Feed a body to animals? Sounds good, until you realize that there is quite a lot of DNA that can remain in animal excrement.

Put a body into a freshly dug grave? Again, sounds good...unless you have a keen eyed person who wonders why the earth at the bottom of a grave is freshly dug when it shouldn't be.

Bottom line: there are relative few methods of body disposal that don't leave evidence. So go with something that makes the evidence not matter. Me, if I had a body to remove, I'd go with ocean dumping. Get yourself some sea charts, and find someplace with a lovely underwater current. Dump the body in extra strength trash bags weighted down with stones. If you must chop up the body for ease of movement, do so, but remember the caveats above on body chopping. And here's the real trick: just before you dump, cut small slits into the bags, careful not to spill any blood or other identifiable matter. First, the currents will carry away your evidence to another locale. Then, the cuts in the bags will allow whiffs of that putrefying flesh to enter the ocean, which will attract all sorts predators to help with the disposal. In the end, your corpse should be miles away, with few bits remaining for identification purposes.

 

[Strazdas]

I fantasize about it quite often, especially when i see people where i wish that was the only problem. Hiding a body does not work. you need to get rid of it. and best way to get rid of it is destroying it. temporary hiding space while i go on to destroy is of course my garage.
As so suggested, one way is to eat it, its meat after all.
Another good idea is fire. fire destroys all. burn it. in fact, burn all his belongings, dont keep "trophies", it only lead to trouble. actually, burn the clothes you murdered him in as well, as they both have traces of the person and can be recognized by possible vitnesses.
Acid also works, but you need to dispose of that acid too later on and that may not be that easy.
The ocean idea is interesting, though not good for my current location. but dont use barrels, let it rot and be eaten by fish. though of course best thing is to chop it to pieces to begin with anyway.

In a grave... where better a place to hide a dead body... than a place that would hold a dead body?

*shrug* *hefts shovel* *saunters away*

Wont work. grave dirk is compressed when in a grave and they put in extra once it sinks in. if you were to dig one and then put a body in and cover it, it will be very noticeable for as long as at least 6 months.

 

[ShipofFools]

In my shed.

 

[wulf3n]

In a grave... where better a place to hide a dead body... than a place that would hold a dead body?

*shrug* *hefts shovel* *saunters away*

Wont work. grave dirk is compressed when in a grave and they put in extra once it sinks in. if you were to dig one and then put a body in and cover it, it will be very noticeable for as long as at least 6 months.

I think he means before the coffin is put into the grave. Like in Mr Brooks.

You look for an open grave, as it is likely to be filled in the next few days, dump the body and cover with enough dirt to hide the body, but doesn't make the grave noticeably shallower. The coffin then covers the body, and the dirt covers the coffin.

catpcha: Zombie Attack.
No catpcha the zombie isn't getting out of that grave.

 

[an annoyed writer]

on top of all of the other ones, in a random box! However, they'll all wake up eventually, as I'm doing this run through life non-lethally

 

[Strazdas]

Man Bites Dog[/i]

remembering how it ended i dont think it is a good example.

Nice read, quite decriptive.

How woudl you suggest controling the Odor in an enclosed area which vents into another area frequented by people? is trying to "blow it off" by using a fan good idea or clogging up the vent is prefered, and how to get rid of odor aftewards then?

On topic, I've never understood how people get caught with murders.. especially if it's a random target that you have no connections to and if there were no witnesses/video footage. Always astounds me how police catch murderers who kill randomly and dispose of bodies way out in the woods.

You know why? because you only hear about caught ones. there are plenty they never catch that you never know about. beucase they are just missing persons.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

Man Bites Dog[/i]

remembering how it ended i dont think it is a good example.

Nice read, quite decriptive.

How woudl you suggest controling the Odor in an enclosed area which vents into another area frequented by people? is trying to "blow it off" by using a fan good idea or clogging up the vent is prefered, and how to get rid of odor aftewards then?

On topic, I've never understood how people get caught with murders.. especially if it's a random target that you have no connections to and if there were no witnesses/video footage. Always astounds me how police catch murderers who kill randomly and dispose of bodies way out in the woods.

You know why? because you only hear about caught ones. there are plenty they never catch that you never know about. beucase they are just missing persons.

Thought this thread was dead, never really expected a response. Here's mine:

Ideally you'd want to do it in a controlled, isolated area where you wouldn't have to worry about someone casually discovering you. If you end up doing it in an area where odor would vent into another area frequented by people, then you'd probably want to transport the body to a better work area. If you're unable to do so, then you'd immediately want work on masking the smell with ionizers, ozone generators (which may pose a serious health hazard if exposed to it for too long), and scented candles as a temporary measure to buy you some time.

First you'd want to cover openings on doors and (god help you if you're near one) windows (cover it up too to keep people from spying on you) with duct tape, being sure to leave a minimal opening for air if you don't have access to an independent air source. Next you'd want to put an activated carbon air filter over the vent(s). They can easily be purchased from a gardening supply store or, if you're doing it on a budget, jury-rigged from supplies you can buy at a Home Depot. Marihuana growers and curers have basically revolutionized the field of constructing home-made filters that get rid of troublesome odors that the police might be interested in. I'm sure there are instructions available for you to find on pot forums on the internet, but from what I've read you could probably construct one in half an hour with a $20-30 budget. Here are some instructions I've taken the liberty of copying down from a few places, feel free to substitute them if you find better ones (the following are not my own words):

Spoiler

Materials:

1 activated carbon filter (found near humidifiers and HEPA filters)
1 small roll of aluminum screen
1 four inch ventilation end-cap
1 four inch duct connector piece
1 roll of duct tape

Tools: A pair of scissors and a measuring tape.

The carbon filter I purchased is a 'universal' replacement filter for HoneyWell air purifiers. Since I didn't pay the hefty price for a professional unit, I will cut this to size. It was originally 16" high and about 48" long, so I cut it right down the middle. When the first filter is expired, I will have a replacement ready to go.

The next step is to cut your aluminum screen to size. I chose aluminum because it will be strong, and will still allow good air-flow. You could substitute chicken mesh or something similar. Since my (cut) carbon filter is 8" high, the aluminum will be cut to 12". The carbon filter will go in the middle 8" of this screen, with 2" coming out of each end to connect to the duct pieces.

Now we will attach the aluminum screen to the duct pieces, with duct tape. (This might be the first time you have actually used duct tape on ducts!) Do your best to keep it straight as possible.

It will seem a bit flimsy at the beginning. Continue to wrap the aluminum screen around and around, taping it every few inches. You want it to hold firm.

After a few wraps it will be fairly sturdy, and able to hold its own weight. However, don't drive your truck over it! Treat her nice and gentle like a Christian schoolgirl.

The ends of your screen may have little strands of metal poking out, threatening to impale you. Add some more duct tape to cover this up and to finalize the DIY carbon filter. Soon it will be done.

Now it is time to wrap the activated carbon filter onto our device. Conveniently, the filter I bought came with a couple of velcro straps, so I used them to hold it on. This will be convenient to replace when the activated carbon is expired.

After she's all sealed up, throw on a bit more duct tape around the edges of the carbon filter, to seal up any gaps. Only tape over the edges, because you want the air to flow as easily as possible. Air does not flow through duct tape. Here is the finished product.

Time to hook her up to the grow room exhaust! In this case, it is being hooked to a 4" square duct. (That is why I used a 4" round to 4" square connector piece. You may need a different piece to suit your ventilation setup, but a million sizes are available.) Just slide her onto the vent, and tape it down nice and sturdy. Duct tape is your reliable grey friend.

After she is attached and fire up, things are looking good. It is working nice, hooked to a 60 CFM fan, and you can feel the air flowing out of it lightly. The fan was not slowed down too much, but obviously a carbon filter will add some back-pressure to your vents. I haven't tried this with a slower blower (under 60 CFM), but 60 CFM is not a lot.

I just hooked this up today, so I don't know how often I will have to replace the carbon filter. The box the filter came in says to replace every two or three months. It does seem to make a difference though. There is almost no smell at all, except the faint odor of duct tape adhesive. I'm sure that will go away after a few hours.

Using this method, everyone can now build their own activated carbon filter. Its quite easy, and you can build it any size you need, to fit any room and any type of duct. Could it get any better than that?

With the carbon filter combined with the other things I've mentioned, you should probably be safe as far as odors are concerned. Remember though: you're working against the clock with decomposition, so if you don't already have these things in place be sure to keep in mind the other techniques I've mentioned in my first post concerning slowing down decomposition. While I don't recommend this, if for some reason you're unable to do the above but are in control of your ventilation and the room is sealed off (say you're in a house by yourself but have neighbors outside to worry about), you can try releasing small busts of the air outside. You'd want to do it at the dead of night when no one is wandering outside over a period of a few days, never doing it at the same time each night and probably not on consecutive nights either. Rainy or windy nights work the best as they'd be able to mask/scatter the smell so it can't be pinpointed to your area specifically.

One more thing: if you're in an area where people may be able to smell what you're doing, they might also be able to hear what you're doing. Try to muffle or mask those noises as best you can, keeping in mind the time of day so other people don't try to investigate the sounds you make or file a noise complaint against you. Not many people have the luxury of being right next to an open construction site where these sounds are common place, and nearby police presence is the last thing you need. Imagine Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, post-murder:

 

[Mr. Happy Face]

^^

This is good advice.

Wow. I went back and read your posts, Gottestrafe, and I have to say most of your information is spot on. However, I have to point out one part of your posts that is dangerously bad info.

Well, first you'd want to do the deed in a controlled area. Y'know, someplace with tarps and tile that you could wipe down with home cleaning solutions in a pinch.

Controlled area: yes. Tarps and tile and home cleaning solutions: no.

The problem is simple. No cleaning product removes the trace elements that blood leaves behind on a surface. None. They stay there, and they can stay there for years. A setup as you describe can certainly remove the obvious signs of your activities, and an autoclave (while pricy) can clean your tools if they are small and you are careful, but those traces are going to be left behind on large surfaces. Tile is notorious for this, as blood can soak into the grout and be a tricky ***** to get rid of. Tarps can be good, especially with regards to transportation, but can leak if not extremely well made and undamaged. (A friend of mine taught me this one. He had a kayak that started rotting because the tarp he used was poor quality and allowed water to seep in.)

So what's the solution? Plastic drop cloths. You can find them at nearly any home improvement store, and they are relatively cheap. Get enough to cover the entire surface area where you are working. And I mean all of it. Blood goes everywhere, and you'd be absolutely shocked the distance a blood spurt can travel, even from a corpse. To seal the seams in the drop cloths, simple duct tape will do the job fine. When you are done, simply clean the drop clothes with the aforementioned cleaning supplies, and then dispose of them in a dumpster (or a recycling center if you are environmentally conscious ). To really sell it, you could even splatter paint on the drop clothes before you dispose of them.

Still, despite my nitpicking, I must once again say that your research is excellent, and what you advise is sound. Hat's off, sir.

 

[BabySinclair]

In a metal dumpster on the far side of town with a gallon of gasoline, a log of wood, one car tire, a box of matches, and an average emergency response time of 30 minutes. Rubber ignites at 500 degrees C and can surpass the temperature needed for cremation. It's strange that forensic science classes usually involve a lot of discussions on ways to get rid of a body efficiently.

 

[Strazdas]

Allow me to remove a few illusions.

Chopping up a body is one of either two things; hard or loud. If you do the job with something quiet, it's an awful lot of work, especially when you're talking bone and connective tissue. That stuff don't cut easy. But if you use something that makes the job a lot easier, like a chainsaw, you have the problem of noise. And unless you have a place way out in the middle of nowhere, you're going to attract attention sooner or later. And chopping up a body is ALWAYS messy. Unless you are paranoid levels of careful, you're going to be leaving microscopic bits wherever you do the job.

Im pretty sure that if we gone though all the trouble to kill somone and then trying to get rid of it, we hcan handle some hard chopping work.
as for microscopic bits, if im not a suspect as there is no body, how would they know where to look?

Acid is nice and quite, and tends to take care of pesky DNA evidence, but also has it's own set of problems. First is the type of acid to use. Not all acids will completely dissolve a body; quite a few will leave that pesky skeleton still about. And when you settle on a type of acid, you have to acquire it. Large amounts of the type of acid necessary can leave quite the paper trail for authorities to follow. Then there is the time factor. Acid is not quick. It can take hours to completely dissolve a body. Which brings us to the big problem with acid: the smell. Have you smelled flesh being broken down by acid? It's not a pleasant aroma, and again, unless you are in the middle of nowhere, you're going to attract quite a lot of attention.

Sufuric accid can be found in drain cleaners, and they are sold pretty much everywhere now. given time, it can dissolve the body. I live at the edge of town. like litterary driving to town my house is the 3rd one. i got a motor air pump that can throw the smell of a top of a 9 storey building. problem is - it seems there are flaws in design and some neighbors can get the smells "Throw in" into their homes if they dont have backward shutters. most do but the risk is too great.
time is hardly a problem because you would likely need time to organize getting rid of the dissolved material. surely you dont suggest pouring it down your own drain.

In a grave... where better a place to hide a dead body... than a place that would hold a dead body?

*shrug* *hefts shovel* *saunters away*

Wont work. grave dirk is compressed when in a grave and they put in extra once it sinks in. if you were to dig one and then put a body in and cover it, it will be very noticeable for as long as at least 6 months.

I think he means before the coffin is put into the grave. Like in Mr Brooks.

You look for an open grave, as it is likely to be filled in the next few days, dump the body and cover with enough dirt to hide the body, but doesn't make the grave noticeably shallower. The coffin then covers the body, and the dirt covers the coffin.

NO such thing in my country. The grave gets dug before the burial as in right before. i was burying my grandpa, the duggers began work at 10 AM. at 1PM we lowered him in. they never left the site and covered it up with us standing there. so this plan would never work.

capcha: never mind.
i guess no zombie attack after all?

Thought this thread was dead, never really expected a response. Here's mine:

as always a very nice and descriptive response. indeed i havent thought about filtering the air. The problem is, the air vent, while leading outside, is also conencted with neighboars air vent, thus any smell released via it could potentialy reach neighboars. Would "hoarding" the smell or trying to blow it off with a ventilater hoping none gets towards neighbors be better. now obviuosly you dont want to let the neighboars know, but what to do with smell thats trapped? Using windwos on a windy day may work, as the drafts we get here due to house design is quite shocking somtimes (as in you see clothes people washed flying off) and usually blows away from the city.
as far as sound isolation goes i have no worries. closing the door is enough to stop hearing a fire alarm going off in a corridor (because someone decided to smoke in the kitchen, yay), so the sounds are pretty muffled. and heavy equipment sounds isnt a problem as couple neighboars are doing construction and i myself did them lately, so as long as its not a night job noone would mind them.

Of course preparation is key to success, however lets face it in a case of murder most people hardly have time for that. as i doubt many people plan a murder.

 

[Angie7F]

Um, I dont know. I am 5 foot, and I dont think i can carry another human beng and dispoce it somewhere. I would have to cut it up into bits to carry the parts.

I do know though, that bleach is super effective.
I accidently dropped a huge bottle of kimchi on to my white wall and bleach took the kimchi stains away like magic.
I am sure it will work wonders on humans too

 

[Mr. Happy Face]

Im pretty sure that if we gone though all the trouble to kill somone and then trying to get rid of it, we hcan handle some hard chopping work.
as for microscopic bits, if im not a suspect as there is no body, how would they know where to look?...

Well, I'll grant you that if you're already willing to kill someone, they you shouldn't mind some hard work. But chopping up a body is rather like chopping wood with regards to strength requirements. Not everyone is capable of it. You could use a hacksaw, I suppose, but that's still a lot of work, and takes even more time.

And as for that second bit, you know which murderers get caught? The ones who are sloppy and take chances. Better to prepare fully and minimize risk.

Sufuric accid can be found in drain cleaners, and they are sold pretty much everywhere now. given time, it can dissolve the body. I live at the edge of town. like litterary driving to town my house is the 3rd one. i got a motor air pump that can throw the smell of a top of a 9 storey building. problem is - it seems there are flaws in design and some neighbors can get the smells "Throw in" into their homes if they dont have backward shutters. most do but the risk is too great.
time is hardly a problem because you would likely need time to organize getting rid of the dissolved material. surely you dont suggest pouring it down your own drain.

True on the sulfuric acid in drain cleaners, but remember what else I said. The large quantities you'd need to completely dissolve a body can leave a paper trail for authorities to find. Unless you are a plumber or something, it looks kinda suspicious buying that much drain cleaner. As for time, British serial murder John George Haigh dissolved six of his victims, using 45 gallon drums and sulfuric acid. The process took about two days, and he reported that the stench was awful. (This is where my info comes from, by the way.) Sure, you'd need time to dispose of the resultant material, but two days is a long time, during which something could easily go wrong.

Interesting additional fact; Mexican drug cartels are known for dissolving their victims in boiling lye. The process takes anywhere from three to five hours, depending on the temperature of the boil, and the residual material is a tan liquid with the consistency of mineral oil.

And no, I don't recommend pouring either resultant slurry down the drain.

 

[Strazdas]

Im pretty sure that if we gone though all the trouble to kill somone and then trying to get rid of it, we hcan handle some hard chopping work.
as for microscopic bits, if im not a suspect as there is no body, how would they know where to look?...

Well, I'll grant you that if you're already willing to kill someone, they you shouldn't mind some hard work. But chopping up a body is rather like chopping wood with regards to strength requirements. Not everyone is capable of it. You could use a hacksaw, I suppose, but that's still a lot of work, and takes even more time.

And as for that second bit, you know which murderers get caught? The ones who are sloppy and take chances. Better to prepare fully and minimize risk.

Sufuric accid can be found in drain cleaners, and they are sold pretty much everywhere now. given time, it can dissolve the body. I live at the edge of town. like litterary driving to town my house is the 3rd one. i got a motor air pump that can throw the smell of a top of a 9 storey building. problem is - it seems there are flaws in design and some neighbors can get the smells "Throw in" into their homes if they dont have backward shutters. most do but the risk is too great.
time is hardly a problem because you would likely need time to organize getting rid of the dissolved material. surely you dont suggest pouring it down your own drain.

True on the sulfuric acid in drain cleaners, but remember what else I said. The large quantities you'd need to completely dissolve a body can leave a paper trail for authorities to find. Unless you are a plumber or something, it looks kinda suspicious buying that much drain cleaner. As for time, British serial murder John George Haigh dissolved six of his victims, using 45 gallon drums and sulfuric acid. The process took about two days, and he reported that the stench was awful. (This is where my info comes from, by the way.) Sure, you'd need time to dispose of the resultant material, but two days is a long time, during which something could easily go wrong.

Interesting additional fact; Mexican drug cartels are known for dissolving their victims in boiling lye. The process takes anywhere from three to five hours, depending on the temperature of the boil, and the residual material is a tan liquid with the consistency of mineral oil.

And no, I don't recommend pouring either resultant slurry down the drain.

indeed preparedness is the Key here. So it takes whole 2 days for the process to dissolve? Slower than i had hoped. i was expecting something closer to 8-12 hours.
I have no ideas about the ratios needed for dissolving, but you could go though multiple shops to minimize the "buy at once" quantity. and of course pay cash. people do buy drain cleaners sometimes so it probably wouldnt light a red light. also once agian preparedness wins if you were slowly buying it up in, say, over a month.

But still there is a problem of Odor.

 

[Mr. Happy Face]

indeed preparedness is the Key here. So it takes whole 2 days for the process to dissolve? Slower than i had hoped. i was expecting something closer to 8-12 hours.
I have no ideas about the ratios needed for dissolving, but you could go though multiple shops to minimize the "buy at once" quantity. and of course pay cash. people do buy drain cleaners sometimes so it probably wouldnt light a red light. also once agian preparedness wins if you were slowly buying it up in, say, over a month.

But still there is a problem of Odor.

Yeah, that would probably work. The only thing I see going wrong is cameras. Big home improvement retailers, and even some of the mom-and-pop outlets, have cameras installed to prevent shoplifting. So it's possible that a really thorough investigation could uncover your purchases, even if you spread them out over time and location. Not likely, I admit. But possible. And the sulfuric acid in drain cleaner is very diluted. You'd need to buy an awful lot of it to do the job. Plus, it's very hard to get stronger acids, as it's a controlled substance due to it's use in bomb making.

The lye method I mentioned might be easier, as it requires a lot less time, and it's not hard to pick up large quantities of lye. It's used to make soap, so you could go to a soap-making site and purchase enough of it. Plus, it's a more believable purchase if it's discovered.

COP: Why did you purchase 50 gallons of drain cleaner?
YOU: ... I have really clogged drains?

...just doesn't sound good. More believable is...

COP: Why did you purchase five pounds of lye?
YOU: I'm learning how to make my own soap, and I wanted to try out lots of different fragrances.

Now that sounds a bit more believable. Sure, you have the problem of acquiring a big enough "pot" for your boil. And the lye leaves behind medical implants and a fair bit of bone material. But they are more manageable problems.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I always liked my ex-wife's idea; bludgeon to death, toss in a deep freeze, cut into little pieces and put in a garbage bag, drive cross country, while tossing "bits" out every so often.... yeah it's a lot of work, but sounds fun.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I have no idea whether this would work, but I'd try running the body through a heavy duty meat grinder, ideally something that could pulverize teeth and bones. There wouldn't be any body to hide. The resulting mess could simply be poured in a river. Just have to make sure the grinder and surrounding area are scrupulously clean and sprayed with enough chemicals to ruin DNA evidence.

Without the use of such a device, I would drive about 200 miles out into the sticks, drag the body a mile or so into the woods, and bury it in as deep a hole as I could dig. I'd try to get some lime to cover it with.

Captcha: space is big. That's it! I'll hide the body in space!

 

[Callate]

If logistics aren't an issue, fiction has led me to believe that the Everglades are a great place for a big hunk o' carrion to get hauled away and eaten by the local fauna.

There are also some mud flats in Alaska where a body would get sucked down and likely never seen again.

More realistically and locally, it would probably be a better bet to find a way to destroy the body than try to hide it whole. There's just no way to drag a big corpse-shaped bundle around that isn't going to get noticed in a world of security- and cell-phone cameras. Get a machete and a meat grinder, and feed it to the local dogs. Or flush it down the garbage disposal, slowly, in pieces.

(Yuck.)

I'm really glad I'm not a murderer. I occasionally have nightmares where I've killed someone in the distant past and forgotten about it, and it comes back to haunt me. Makes me nostalgic for getting the traditional "actor's nightmare".