The twin goddesses of melodrama and conflict gravity.
Everyone around me seems to bicker like Greek tragedians (minus the incest, mutilation, and murder, thank goodness) and as if by magic I'm drawn into the squabble simply by occupying nearby space. (Not necessarily adjacent space, mind.) I also seem to have the equally magical ability to be simultaneously unrelated to, the cause of, solution to, and adviser for every single one of these conflicts without having said a word or made eye contact.
It's a blessing and a curse.
...and I'm aware of the irony.
