Who have you rejected, why, and do you regret it?

[Jolly Co-operator]

Nope, no regrets. Women, unfortunately, don't really approach me. The only few who have were classmates whom I didn't even really know; for whatever reason, they just seemed to develop an obsession with me, and wouldn't leave me alone without a firm (but polite) rejection. That's only happened a few times though, and due to their obsessive behavior, I'd say that turning them down was the right choice.

 

[Asita]

Never directly, but in high school I was - in retrospect - unbelievably dense. Seriously, looking back on it one girl was giving me a lot of signs (over the course of about a year) eventually culminating in her friends telling me to ask her to dance much to her mortification (read: she quickly excused herself and had a talk with those friends)...and at the time I was confused as hell. I suppose that could qualify as an implicit rejection, and yeah, I regret it. I didn't have many classes with her but she seemed nice enough, was good company the times we did interact and I certainly wouldn't have minded going out with her. Had I known then what I know now, I probably would have been more receptive to her advances. C'est la vie, I suppose.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I was harassed by a girl at work. She was what my friends call a "river beast": fat, stupid, lazy, arrogant, whiny, ugly, I mean the girl seriously did not have a single positive trait. She was like a female Eric Cartman, only imagine it in the real world, where you actually have to deal with the bullshit instead of just watching it on TV. Gruesome, right? Now add promiscuity so ridiculous, she had three kids at age seventeen and didn't know for sure who any of the fathers were. She propositioned every guy on the crew within a week of being hired. Since I was the only one too polite to actually say no right away, she hounded me and hounded me until I did say no. Then she kept on hounding me, because apparently no only means no when it's a woman saying it. Thankfully she got fired before I had to take it to the boss. Yeesh. The thought makes me shudder to this day. Would have been like having sex with a syphilitic walrus.

 

[username sucks]

For the most part, I think I've made good choices for rejecting people. I gave up on some former friends who have grown to be abusive, turned down some girls that asked me on a date because I'm not attracted to girls, other stuff like that. But I do feel like I've accidentally rejected a few potential friends just because I'm too shy to hold a conversation, so I regret that.

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

Jenny, the first girl I ever had a crush on when we were both in 5th grade (though I was the age of a 4th grader). Growing up in an abusive home, I was deathly afraid of what I felt, and I pushed back when it became obvious that Jenny and I had those same "feelings" for each other that kids in middle-class, suburban, late '80s, white America didn't speak of. Her family moved to California late that school year, and when she came back to Colorado three years later, she was all gangsta. Turns out she spent the intervening years living in Watts and it rubbed off on her. After a few months back in school with me, she got shipped off to juvi and that was all she wrote.

Considering how young we were, nothing would have changed if I had accepted my feelings for her rather than rejecting them, but I still wonder what might have been. What if we had experienced something together that helped me come to terms with the fact that I wasn't straight? I never dated seriously until three years AFTER I saw her again, which was six years after we first met.

If I hadn't been so scared and she hadn't been forced to leave, maybe I would have tried dating earlier than my junior year of high school.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well there were some early rejections because I simply didn't know what people wanted from me or what to do with them... I could say I regret it now but even if things went differently it would make no sense to my young self and nothing would come of it.
There were also a few "quicky" offers rejected because I can't get intimately comfortable with complete strangers, I do regret the sex part just about every time only solo play is an option, but again in reality I wouldn't be comfortable humping with complete strangers.
And lastly the couple legit relationship rejections, those have quite a few regrets hanging on them... as long as I only consider the perfect imaginary side. Yes in my head those people will always be the perfect angels that I made up, realistically however there was some serious contempt brewing between us and shit just got crazier with every passing day. I do miss how these people made me feel at the best of times, but those times came at far too high a price.

 

[Bat Vader]

A couple of days ago I rejected a woman who tried striking up a conversation with me. I went to Horizon Books(local bookstore) and bought a new sketch and a new drawing pad.

They are the type of bookstore that sells coffee and snacks so I order a Mocha Latte, sit down, put in my headphones, and begin to draw. About half an hour later some random woman comes up and starts bothering me about what I am listening to and what I am drawing.

Being polite I tell her in as few words as possible hoping she gets the hint I don't want to talk and she gets up and leaves. Thinking I can go back to what I was doing I put my headphones back in but before I can start drawing again she comes back with a cappuccino and starts trying to talk again. At that point I am annoyed and after another few minutes of her speaking I pretend to look at the clock and tell her I had to leave.

She tried saying something to me as I left but I pretended I didn't hear her and just kept on walking.

I know I was rude and that I was in a public place so this was kinda expected but when someone has headphones on and is either sketching, drawing, or reading it usually means they don't want to be disturbed.

 

[Dark Knifer]

Can't reject anyone if you've never been asked.

 

[TWRule]

I don't regret failing to pursue (only once was it a direct, purposeful rejection) the small handful of women that have shown interest in me; they either had bossy personalities that I didn't mesh well with, or in one case I began to see that they were too immature.

I do regret how I handled some of those partings. In particular, one girl, when I was younger, who had a crush on me and admitted it (though whom I didn't really like, she was one of the ones with a bossy personality) I told that I would be leaving to travel the world soon on a solitary journey to find myself and that I planned to be gone for years. This wasn't a lie, I genuinely believed what I was saying at the time, silly as it sounds - though I should have just manned up and told her I didn't think it was going to work separately from that.

Fast forward about six months to a year, reality sets in and I end up working a job and going to school in a neighboring city. One day I see her on the bus on my way home from work. I was so mortified and ashamed that I couldn't bring myself to vocalize an apology, and she was clearly too upset and passive aggressive toward me for it to have gone over anyway.

So yeah, you could say I'm pretty smooth.

 

[Lilani]

I haven't really "rejected" anyone in the sense that they directly asked and I directly answered no, but I have had to tell two different guys that I didn't want to be asked. I had my first boyfriend a few years ago, and while I was pursuing him another friend of mine was becoming...closer. He hadn't asked me out yet, but I was beginning to notice his attention shifting toward me, and our mutual friends were noticing too. I had thought about going out with him, but I decided my feelings for the guy I was pursuing were stronger. I didn't want to reject him by way of starting a relationship with another guy, so I got alone with him one day and just made it clear that I wanted to stay friends. He said he understood, and we remained regular friends. If he felt any further pain being around me from that day forward he didn't show it, and didn't make a point of avoiding me for any length of time.

The second guy began to make his feelings known a couple of months after I broke up with my first boyfriend. He had begun inviting me to his place alone, and was making comments that suggested he liked me. I didn't see him very often, about once a week or so, and even then it was at a school club we both attended and there really wasn't any way to talk to him alone without making a scene. I had tried to respond to his comments in a way which said "Thanks, but no thanks," but he never got the hint so I guess I was never clear enough. So I ended up doing the most cowardly thing ever and explained how I felt over Facebook. I had no feelings for him at all, though I still felt really bad about doing it that way. But, it just got to a point where I couldn't drag him on any longer, and the only way I could turn him down without making a scene in public or inviting him to an awkward "rejection lunch" was to explain it over Facebook. He said he appreciated knowing for sure, and like the other if he felt any pain at being around me after that, he didn't show it to me. And trust me, I looked. I really hate disappointing people.

And now I have my current boyfriend, who I've been going out with for more than a year and a half now.

 

[Auron225]

Do I fall into the "no regrets" category if I've never rejected anyone in the first place?

Before you think I just say yes to anyone - I've never been asked either.

...Yeah.

 

[Remus]

Can't reject anyone if you've never been asked.

Do I fall into the "no regrets" category if I've never rejected anyone in the first place?

Before you think I just say yes to anyone - I've never been asked either.

...Yeah.

Is there a club for guys like us, and do we get nametags? In my own defense, I live in an obscure part of the country where there are quantifiably, and multiplicably, more deer than people, so it's cost prohibitive to go to a location where I might be asked. Also, my family is quite large, lots of nieces and nephews, so I never had the desire to spread seed. We're like the Waltons, only with cellphones and Ipads.

 

[Korolev]

I've never rejected anyone because no one has shown the slightest interest in me. Ever. Oh I get along fine with women - as colleagues, as friends, as every day people, but no woman has ever even shown the slightest bit of interest in me, ever.

And that's fine. I am not owed affection. I live my quiet, peaceful, uneventful life. Not being in a relationship frees up time to read books and concentrate on work.

Would I reject affection? Sure, if the person who was theoretically interested in me had wildly differing political views. I don't think I could date a super-conservative, climate-change denying, "sink all the immigrant boats" type of person. I don't think I could stomach dating a very religious person either. But I doubt such people would show any interest in me either.

I'm not worried about having to reject anyone. Given the historical level of interest in me expressed by the opposite sex, which usually trends around 0, I don't think it's a scenario I'll ever have to worry about.

 

[Queen Michael]

There was this girl once. Polish. We met on a dating site. Boring personality. Very boring. Bland.

Also, she claimed to be an English teacher. Her grammar was horrible. If she was telling the truth I feel sorry for her students.

And when it comes to looks... Um. I'm not sure how to say this. She was... To be honest, she was ugly. And if you combine that with her boring and bland personality, yeah... Not into her. Sorry.

 

[Spectrum_Prez]

I had a friend from class that I began to get pretty attached to. We would chat and text ever so often. I used to joke that I was helping her find a boyfriend and vice versa. Because she was about seven years older than me (we're both in grad school), I never thought she took it too seriously. In fact, she once told me to think of her as a big sister. Over the holiday, I stayed with her for a few days in one city when I went sightseeing, and then she came and stayed with me for a few days. We never fooled around or anything, but we would do things that could be interpreted multiple ways, like leaning on each others' shoulders.

Then, we got drunk one night and started making out. I had to stop myself about five minutes in because I knew I didn't take it seriously. She started crying.

It was terrible, terrible, terrible. I thought we had a boundary, but it sort of evaporated over the months. She told me she felt I was taking advantage of her. Worst accusation of my life, I felt so gutted. In retrospect, she was sort of right. But I also secretly (I never said it out loud) blamed her.

I haven't seen her in six months, but probably will soon. I've moved on, but I hope to god she has too.

 

[Zontar]

There was this one girl in my high school days, she walked up to me during one of the lunch brakes and asked me out. I rejected her out of hand because I honestly thought she was joking. See back then I had a bullying problem, and that coupled with low self esteem made me think it was impossible that a girl would come up to me as ask that with full sincerity (I'd had a very bad relationship experience the year before that made me untrusting of women during my high school years). A few years after we graduated I ran into her, and we caught up. After a bit of catching up it turned out she had been honest in wanting to go out (seemed some my interests I was open about where ones she shared but wasn't open about it). We had a good laugh when things where cleared and we ended up together.

I really regret how things went that day, my high school years where not the best of my life and it would have been a much happier time if I'd been with her. But you can't change the past, and we've made up for lost time quite well.

 

[smithy_2045]

Relationship-wise, never. Never had the chance to reject someone.

However, I probably rejected a potential friendship that if I had've gone with it could've been great. Unfortunately, teenage me was unable to identify the potential and resorted to subtle bullying to maintain the weak social status I had.

 

[carnex]

I have, rather unwittingly rejected a girl that's a good friend of mine. I say unwittingly because she was in relationship at that time (and still is) and my policy is not to snatch people from existing relationships.

But I knew her relationship smelled bad, and soon I found out that her partner is, well, not the best material. He's not physical, but future she sees with him will be anything but easy. So yes, I regret not breaking my moral code at that time especially since I still hold her really dear to my heart.

What I do not regret is rejecting this really beautiful underage girl that was, for some reason, desperately hung on me. Couldn't understand what she saw in me, but whole thing just fell morally bankrupt so I bailed before it even started.

 

[Spanglish Guy]

I have rejected a couple girls in the past that I can remember, all at school when I was around 12 and 13. The main reason was obviously because at that age I felt I was far too young to be doing any sort of dating anyway, and a second reason was that there were a lot of people daring each other to ask people out as a joke and not wanting to be the butt of it would say no out of safety.

Do I regret rejecting them all out of hand? Maybe a little if only because I just plainly said 'No' and that was that but I would just get nervous, I wasn't used to being asked. That one year at school though was the only time I was directly asked and since then I have never noticed any signs come from anyone, although I don't know what to interpret as such signs and whenever I see anything that could be a 'sign' I ignore it just in case I'm wrong to avoid looking like an idiot.

This of course means that I have no dating or relationship experience what so ever, I haven't even had any sexual contact at all with anyone, but ah well whatever.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I broke up with someone and I regret that I had to...well, I feel bad that I had to. The thing is, it was the best thing for both of us. She was fed up with me, I was fed up with her, we both ended up with better people and that's really the end of it. I don't like that I did it and I also wish I had done it sooner, if I'm being really honest with myself. What really gets me though is the person who I didn't try dating but I've had enough time to go through how it would have gone anyway...not really closure but it's better than nothing...good enough for me.