Why are women so fickle in love?

[Stasisesque]

Uh. I often wonder if I'm missing some essential gene that would make me a woman as most seem to be.

Love? Meh. Comfort? Yes please.
I don't want to be swept off my feet. I'd probably break his back, anyways. =P
I just want a friend who will stay beside me. Who has similar interests to me and is at about the same place in life.

I don't have any great expectations about love. I know love is magical, for a few days. The friendship lasts much longer. I'm not naive to think even that lasts forever.

Also, if he could play a tank to my dps and my twin's healer, we'd be set.

Isn't that romantic?

I don't get my friends sometimes. The huge weddings and wasting so much money on all that shit, wanting a perfect man, elaborate dates and such like that. I just don't get all that.

I find this post hilarious. You seem to be presenting yourself as different from "most women", I assume in relation to the fickleness of their/our response to love, but then you go on to essentially state you believe love is only "magical" for a few days. It just sounds like you are exactly what the OP, however misguided his generalised observations, is talking about.

If that's not what you meant to achieve, I've got to ask, what is the relevance of your post? Different women have different ideas of romance and love. That doesn't make you special, not does it make everyone else the same.

 

[Tanakh]

Through many years of my dating life, if there?s one thing I?ve noticed more often than others, it?s how fickle women in love are.

Now it?s not just my life I?m talking about, it?s all around me.

Why is this?

My first guess is that you and the ones "all around you" suck at fulfilling and keeping woman's desire; thus they are "forced" to seek other ways to meet their needs.

 

[rbstewart7263]

Through many years of my dating life, if there?s one thing I?ve noticed more often than others, it?s how fickle women in love are.

Now it?s not just my life I?m talking about, it?s all around me.

Women love fairy tales, chick flicks and romance in their lives. But yet, they create such messy gordian knots of love that they end up hurting others and themselves along the way...

I?m not generalising that all women are fickle in love. But there are a lot more fickle-in-love women out there than there are men who think along those lines.

Why is this?

DISCUSS...

(Sorry not trying to offend - I just had a bad experience and feeling a bit angry right now)

Rather than make it a thing about sex lets look at the culture and what that implies for the gender. Im gonna make an assumption here and say that your talking about women from america. there now instead of gender where looking at culture and what it means for that gender.

Alot of American women are like that. Our gender assumptions make it to where straight up chicks end up being the exception rather than the rule. Im told that women from europe are supposed to be more straight up and honest and less fickle but who knows. Also consider who you are. Me being a white knight(the psychological term not the internet one look it up) I attract alot of whats called love avoidants. Women (men can do it to: disclaimer lol) who like to keep a guy at ropes length to keep the power dynamic on there end. its fucked up and it kept happening to me and sometimes still does. Anywho consider all those factors before condemning all women if only because once you do that your unlike to find the source of your problems and then solve them.

 

[Something Amyss]

Woman are unfortunately people.

Indeed. Men can be quite fickle in love and seemingly in equal measure.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

May I? Now this is very important, and if it doesn't make sense maybe one day it will.

Woman are unfortunately people. I've gone through periods in my life where I thought woman we're dumber (i was a kid once) and periods where I perceived woman might be smarter (I was a teen ager once to).

They are sadly neither. If women fuck things up it's because regretfully, for better or worse their people just like us. I've known and been that guy to fuck something up that was working.

Lots of people despite their Sex (gender what ever) have a habit of blowing it. We all think we're entirely more clever than we are.

Just well said all around. I was about to say something similar, though likely not so eloquently. Kudos.

For my experience, I've been with the fickle type, I've been with the selfish type, and I've been with dedicated women who I've run from because of stupid fears, and worst of all I went into a marriage with unreasonable expectations. Big shocker that one didn't work out, eh?

Generalizing is never a wise way to look at the world. We all start stupid and grow. We learn from our mistakes and hopefully try to do better the next time.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

Because love is stupid. There, I just saved you two boobless hours.

 

[lacktheknack]

Simple answer: They're not.

Complex answer: They're not. Also you're being really offensive.

You're not very good at this.

OT: Eugh. This is why I don't plan on getting serious until my early thirties. I've never viewed love as something to play around with, but apparently, no one my age, male or female, appears to agree.

 

[Yopaz]

Maybe we should talk about your bad experience than make generalizations, especially since all you're going to get here is "I'm not like that" in one way or another

I would have indulged the man first, I suspect he's in pain.

Just trying to not have people jumping down his throat and possibly making things worse. Although we should just lock the thread since you nailed it already

so we should ignore the man?
I'm fine letting him vent. he's not gotten out of line, we might be in the vicinity of the that line, but hay man it's a forum.

I just need to ask... is Hay Man related to Straw Man?

OT: Meh, women are all bitches. We know it to be true. They are all carnivores in the cycle of emotions, vicious creatures preying on the naïve men who only want friendship and love who ends up getting hurt and used more than 10 out of 10 times.

That or they are humans like the rest of us with individual personalities and you just paint the majority because you have had a couple bad experiences. Open up about it rather than annoy us about how you observe something and start generalizing. Yes, you did say in your OP that you're not generalizing, but if I said something along the lines that "I'm not generalizing, but most black people are dumber than white people". You don't need to complete the second half of that sentence before it's clear that you are generalizing. I would get the racist stamp the second I said the word black.

Don't be so vague. No-one here knows you, open up to us and we can actually be quite supportive. The way you did it pretty much made supporting you difficult for at least some of us.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

Also, if he could play a tank to my dps and my twin's healer, we'd be set.

Isn't that romantic?

That IS romantic! I've often wanted to find a woman who'd heal/dps for me. I don't know what the typical male idea of romance is, but me, I just wanna meet someone who shares my love of MMOs. I could never get old girlfriends into them.

But hey, you could overheal me any day. I'll pull for you so hard you won't know what to do with yourself. (Couldn't think of any innuendo really relating to DPS.)

...are you still on board? Because that's the nerdiest pick up line I've ever used, I swear. That's as bad as it gets! All uphill from here.

 

[RandV80]

Because women are crazy, some in different ways. Anyone who wishes to disagree please tell me why when we moved in together my girlfriend came almost 100 pairs shoes, nearly all in their original box?

 

[DefunctTheory]

Because women are crazy, some in different ways. Anyone who wishes to disagree please tell me why when we moved in together my girlfriend came almost 100 pairs shoes, nearly all in their original box?

But how does one look attractive and feel good about ones appearance without properly chosen shoes? And why would one waste perfectly good shoe boxes?

It works both ways on things like this. Different strokes for different folks.

Though I do have a female friend with about 100 different shoes that admitted to me that she thinks its weird as all hell. Then again, about half of them can only be described as 'hooker heels.' I guess its more like collecting nice stuff (Which I think most people can understand) then it is about actual foot wear.

Who am i to judge? My video game plushies are absolutely worthless - at least women can wear their collectables ever once in a while.

 

[Stasisesque]

Because women are crazy, some in different ways. Anyone who wishes to disagree please tell me why when we moved in together my girlfriend came almost 100 pairs shoes, nearly all in their original box?

Because, and I'm just plucking this out of thin air here, because she likes shoes? I too have a large collection of shoes, and I too keep the boxes. For starters, the boxes are easier to stack and thus easier to store. They also keep the shoes dust free, as with a collection of 100 you're going to leave some languishing in the back of the wardrobe at some point.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

Women love fairy tales, chick flicks and romance in their lives. But yet, they create such messy gordian knots of love that they end up hurting others and themselves along the way...

If you want to blame women for creating such a mess, you can't do that without also blaming the men who wrote the endless novels about the fiction of 'love', created religious ideas about marriage and love, and all the psychological crap, all of which complicates things endlessly. Love is an idea and ideas are never simple. True, women write too, but only relatively recently and so aren't nearly as much to blame.

 

[nuttshell]

This might not be my place to add but what about a third option, Stoic separation from humanity.(P.S. This may be my more depressive state talking so please comment as soon as possible because I've sent myself down this one-way road for 4 years and my mind is starting to become conflicted)

In time and with help and experience, you learn how to predict and control your emotions. It's almost the same with drugs, since emotions are basically drugs. They can make your life beautiful but they will make it miserable, if you don't control yourself. For example, it would be an extremely dumb idea to take drugs in your state. If you still do it, you lost control and your life will be much more miserable.
If you are in a depression for 4 years, you should seriously seek special help. 4 years are no laughing matter. You will need hard work and help in order to recover from that. The more you take your time, the harder it gets. You not only have to recover from the experience that made you hurt but also from the time, where you were hurting.

 

[Yopaz]

Maybe we should talk about your bad experience than make generalizations, especially since all you're going to get here is "I'm not like that" in one way or another

I would have indulged the man first, I suspect he's in pain.

the first rule of dealing with an emotional person actually is to indulge them, let them air everything out, and then go on form there.


Ironically, learned that in a Suicide prevention class......

Uh. I often wonder if I'm missing some essential gene that would make me a woman as most seem to be.

Love? Meh. Comfort? Yes please.
I don't want to be swept off my feet. I'd probably break his back, anyways. =P
I just want a friend who will stay beside me. Who has similar interests to me and is at about the same place in life.

I don't have any great expectations about love. I know love is magical, for a few days. The friendship lasts much longer. I'm not naive to think even that lasts forever.

Also, if he could play a tank to my dps and my twin's healer, we'd be set.

Isn't that romantic?

I don't get my friends sometimes. The huge weddings and wasting so much money on all that shit, wanting a perfect man, elaborate dates and such like that. I just don't get all that.

I would like to know how it is that there seems to evidently be tonnes of people having relationship problems on here to begin with, and yet I dont think I've ever written a thread dealing with relationships.


It's like I'm missing out on something.


or, you know, coming to a gaming website for articles and discussions about games.


On the topic at hand:

>Generalizations

The deffinition of 'fickle': changing frequently, esp. as regards one's loyalties, interests, or affection.

so....... to the OP, women are constantly changing their affection to people.


newsflash, that happens with a lot of people, men included.

But I'm not really getting what the OP is saying, to be honest, "there are more fickle-in-love women than men"? citation needed.

Maybe if the OP would post what exactly got him a bit angry, we would have a better understanding of what exactly he is trying to get at.

Yeah it is strange that an Off-Topic section of a forum would include discussions that are Off-Topic of the forum itself.

I actually didn't notice that at first.

Being said, I agree this shouldn't be in Off-Topic, it seems more at home for the "Advice" sub-forum.

or maybe we can go all out and make a "Dating and Relationship" forum.

If something should be posted in the advice forum he should actually be asking for advice.

 

[SillyBear]

Through many years of my dating life, if there?s one thing I?ve noticed more often than others, it?s how fickle women in love are.

Well, this is awkward. I've never been called fickle before. Well, at least I don't think I have.

Now it?s not just my life I?m talking about, it?s all around me.

That's a very scientific statement, isn't it?

Women love fairy tales

I do? What!? Really? Well, I'm a fan of Alice in Wonderland. I have some tattoos from it. I guess that counts as a fairy tale? Fair enough.

chick flicks

What! Firsts you are telling me I love fairy tales and now I love chick flicks? Jeez!

Okay, umm... Bear with me - you must be correct here because you have been very astute with the rest of your post.

Hmmm...

Nope. Can't think of one "chick flick" (I assume you mean rom-com?) That I have "loved" or even "strongly enjoyed".

and romance in their lives.

Who doesn't want romance in their life? A tiny percent of people.

But yet, they create such messy gordian knots of love that they end up hurting others and themselves along the way...

This is so damn vague. Please tell me there is more.

I?m not generalising that all women are fickle in love. But there are a lot more fickle-in-love women out there than there are men who think along those lines.

Fair enough. Sorry about being a smartass earlier.

Why is this?

Wait, what? That's it?

You're done?

Why is what? What are you talking about?

Why do I love chick flicks? I don't. Why do I love fairy tales? I don't. Why do I want romance in my life? Because I'm a normal human being. Why do I create messy gordian knots of love? I don't. I think I have very healthy relationships.

What the hell are you even saying?


I know the saying "speak from the heart" is a cool saying - but you really should at least put a tiny bit of logic into it. You know, just so we know what you are saying. Maybe?

 

[Lieju]

How often is the stereotype of having a man you swoon over say you are the only girl in his eyes, yet just has to make things complicated by having 10 other women wrapped around his finger.

Funny thing, that's what my grandmother adviced me to do. (I'm a woman.)

According to her, keeping several boyfriends is not only acceptable, it's the smart thing to do.
Until you get married, of course.

My grandmother was of the opinion that once you get married that's it, that's the point where the relationship really starts and you'll be faithful to each other for the rest of your life.

So until then you should keep all your options open with as many guys as you can. And make sure you get the best possible husband.

As for the OP, as many people have already pointed out, women are people just as men are.
And I'm not even sure what you mean by 'fickle in love'? That they seem to be very much in love with you but then decide to end the relationship?

Doesn't that say more about your ability to read the situation?

 

[chinangel]

I'm fairly straight-forward. My lovers and I more or less cybered for a long time before they became my emotional support and we fell in love.

Now i'm in a 3 person relationship and we love eachother a lot, but it may help that i'm very simple-minded and childish.

 

[ShipofFools]

May I? Now this is very important, and if it doesn't make sense maybe one day it will.

Woman are unfortunately people. I've gone through periods in my life where I thought woman we're dumber (i was a kid once) and periods where I perceived woman might be smarter (I was a teen ager once to).

They are sadly neither. If women fuck things up it's because regretfully, for better or worse their people just like us. I've known and been that guy to fuck something up that was working.

Lots of people despite their Sex (gender what ever) have a habit of blowing it. We all think we're entirely more clever than we are.

This is wisdom, my friend. Listen to Magog