Why do so many marriages fail today?

[Phasmal]

Most of these replies see divorce as a terrible, terrible thing.
My parent's divorce was great.
My dad was abusive and he and my mum just hated each other, now they are no longer married they eveventually got talking and now get along as friends
There are more divorces now because people dont have to stay in a relationship they aren't happy with, I dont see how that is a bad thing.

 

[Mouse_Crouse]

1) Love is mistaken as a feeling and not an act.

2) Couples (from some of the ones I've known) tend to think that marriage is a destination and not a journey.

These. Oh my goodness these. Finally someone who understands love is NOT an emotion. It's an act. A conscious choice to be made each and every day you wake up. Marriage is hard work.

 

[Nimcha]

Marriage is hard work.

Such nonsense. You marry the person because being with them makes your life significantly better.

If you have to work hard for it, why marry?

 

[veloper]

1 divorce is easier

2 women nolonger need men to pay for things

3 single men have more time and resources to maintain their homes by themselves

4 most people still have unreasonably high expectations of marriage

 

[Biodeamon]

beacause a few reasons:

A)people stayed together mostly in olden days becuase marriage was more of religious thing.
B)Due to the rise of drugs and alchohal, it has ripped many families apart.
C)people are just assholes like that nowadays.

 

[Wildcard5]

Just a little advice from a guy who celebrated his 7th anniversary exactly 10 days ago and is still happily married (no kids in the picture...yet)

1. Birth control, people, birth control. Don't bring another life into the world until you have your shit straight first.

2. Live below your means. It's better to have an older car and be able to fix the plumbing/Air conditioner/random crap that quits on you than to have a nice car and be broke.

3. Chillax. Discuss and work out your problems and don't hold grudges.

4. While sometimes you can seem more like business partners, you are still lovers. Act like it.

Many couples don't do the above things, and it's the poor kids who really pay for it in the end.

I think you really have it together. I agree 100%.

 

[Lynx]

Marriage is hard work.

Such nonsense. You marry the person because being with them makes your life significantly better.

If you have to work hard for it, why marry?

"Nothing in this world that is worth having comes easy."
~ Scrubs



EDIT: Anything that makes your life significantly better has been a result of labor somehow. Either by you or by someone else. In this case, the only ones who can work on your marriage are you and your spouse.

 

[Yoshisummons]

Well the divorce rate fell within the baby boom population, the pendulum merely is back at rest again.

 

[let's rock]

People tend not to wait untill they know that they have found the perfect person, instead rushing through for some reason.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Modern society doesn't frown upon it as it once did

Hectic lives that westerners live cause many, many tensions

There is usually no real downsides to a divorce.

People fall out of love

Its more financially viable to be single

The person finds someone else

Marriage seems to be rushed these days, people get married without the proper experience in the field.

pop culture almost encourages you to be single so you can 'have fun.'

I personally love the idea of being married, I would very much like to be married someday. I don't see myself as ever wanting a divorce, as i'm sure i'll marry a person I want to be married to.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Penguins.

Damn their slimy hides.

 

[Kuroneko97]

I will look and take from my brother, who is 25 with a 21-year old wife, married for 3 years, and currently have a 3-month-old daughter.

What my brother has told me is that marriage requires a lot of compromise. Not that often do you get exactly what you want, and you'll often have to settle for something that you both or only one agrees on. I see that they often argue and tease each other, and then have romantic moments in front of me (Do not want), but he also told me this.

"Marriage means that you both trust each other and care for each other. If my car broke down in the highway at 4 A.M., I trust that my wife will come and get me no matter what. Similarly, if her car brakes down in the highway at 4 A.M., I'm getting up and getting her."

I guess the point of this quote is that from what I know, marriage means that you love each other enough to make it through a few hard times and help the other when one is down. Aren't the wedding vows "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health"? This is coming from someone who has never even gone on a date (damn my nerdy ways), but I suppose most people aren't willing to stick it out when they realize marriage isn't just being together with your love. It means making sacrifices to make them happy, and them doing the same.

When my sister-in-law had to be admitted into a mental hospital, my brother made the hour-long trip every day to see her so she wouldn't be alone. I remember how worried she was when my brother had appendicitis, and went into surgery. He does the chores she doesn't like, and she does the chores he doesn't like. I guess not that many people these days are willing do work things out when things don't seem great anymore. Instead of dealing with the stress and demands of marriage, most people would rather end it and look for someone else. I don't think there's a such thing as a "perfect" marriage. But if you want it to be close, you have to make a few compromises, communicate, and see if you can find a way to make it work. Instead of shoving the round block into the triangle hole, work it out until it goes in the circular hole.

Yes, I know that last metaphor was stupid. Sorry for the text wall.

 

[tstilwell]

The post written by "TestECull" is a misquote. The above selection attributed to me was actually written by member "Biosophilogical".

Which was good, but I obviously didn't remember writing it and I was racking my brain trying to remember. Biosophilogical's views are not my own.

Thank you.

 

[FamoFunk]

People are lazy and won't fight for anything anymore, they take the easy way out which is divorce.
A few arguments? Divorce! Have a tought time? Divorce!

It's just the simple answer and quick fix for when something go wrong, instead of trying, first, to work on it.

 

[aba1]

An absence of God and waiting for sex until marriage, this is my belief.

Because nothing is better than finding out your wife and you aren't sexually compatible just after you married her. That helps things along just great!

hahahaha I was just thinking that

 

[Victor Cross]

Years ago, marriage was considered a sacred thing, and divorces were WAY less common. Personally, even with all of society's problems, old and new, I think marriages today are just as shaky as they were back then, but since divorce is now considered more acceptable, we now see more unhappy couples actually going through the process of splitting up.

 

[Pheonixe]

Kids. At a certain point in (most) marriages, the whole "Let's have kids!" thought enters the mind of one person or another. Then doubt really settles in with "Do I REALLY want to have kids with this wo/man?" Assuming they do, babies and toddlers and kids are little shits and a GIGANTIC fucking stress economically and psychologically. Not to mention the lack of sleep. Sleep is pretty damn important.

With divorce not quite being the social suicide it was back in the day, there's less reason to stick around. Couples who try to stay together "just for the kids" are prolly gonna hate their spouses and themselves even more by the end of it all.

 

[Electric Alpaca]

Religion and social opinions baring less weight, with the addition of awareness and empowerment also.

Basically - there isn't as much shame as there used to be in the act, with women also not having to just sit in the kitchen waiting for their husbands to get back home to beat the stress out of them.

Additionally, easier data collecting and reporting methods will seem to show a a greater rise by virtue of the informing process.

 

[shitoutonme]

Most of these replies see divorce as a terrible, terrible thing.
My parent's divorce was great.
My dad was abusive and he and my mum just hated each other, now they are no longer married they eveventually got talking and now get along as friends
There are more divorces now because people dont have to stay in a relationship they aren't happy with, I dont see how that is a bad thing.

This.

Afuckingmen, sir. Preach, preach, preach!

 

[Gigano]

Well, widespread social acceptance, high and ever increasing ideals for and gradually expectations to one's love life failing to be met, less tolerance for hardship and abuse, a much greater selection available (particularly through the internet), and an ever greater focus on youth and novelty - something that obviously won't remain forever in a marriage - as ideals for romance and eroticism.

But above all because now you actually and realistically can do so without ruining the prospect of a decent livelihood. Where it used to be that one part of the marriage had no education or economy on their own, the vast rise in standards of living have ensured that both parties are now often quite capable of taking care of themselves - and of any children - on their own too. Without such economic chains in place the more emotional factors are allowed a greater field to play on, and those seldom scream "100 % monogamous attraction to one person forever".