Why I think "Gamer Girls" shouldn't hide.

[FrankatronX]

I was talking to a colleague of mine the other day and he claimed he had never met a "Girl Gamer" I told him that there are tons of Women of all ages that play all kinds of games. In my life I have always met them, from FPS's to Simulators, RPG's to RTS's and Puzzle Platforms, there is a Girl for every Game. This got me thinking about the politics of gaming and gender.

The big issue among Men is they don't know them or don't believe "Girl Gamer's" exist. It's a short trip to the internet to find a reason why they don't just come out and admit it, they're being bullied for what they like to do, sound familiar? For all those fella's out there that may not know any gals that partake of the gaming and for those gals who are comfortable with their gaming and wonder if some of their friends might enjoy it too: They might want to open up but feel like they don't have the right because of the millions of people who love to scrutinize them for what they are. Have you asked? Because it's OUR responsibility to support them.

Now "Real Gamers" is a term I hear (read) a lot but I think it's B.S. "Fake Girls Gamers" are like Santa or Jason Voorhees THEY DO NOT EXIST. I spend all day with people who play games of all kinds and I have never seen one, not so much as a blurry photograph of one has been seen by me. If you think you've met one, consult the advice above and ask because you will be surprised.

I don't want this to turn into a thesis so I'll cut my message short with this closing bit.

The world is opening it's arms to things that were once considered lame. Why not open our arms too and embrace the world? "Gamer" is not a mantle for the chosen it's a flag for people to get behind. So Women, don't be afraid to join the rest of us in the "Gamers" club. Yes it will be tough but people like me will always strive to make it easier for you, so you can help the community grow and all "Gamers" everywhere can enjoy the full extent of this new age for gaming.

 

[ItouKaiji]

It sucks that girls get harassed when they try to play games and all of that but honestly I don't think there's a need for anyone to go out of their way to point out their gender anyway. It doesn't enhance the experience of gaming any to know you're playing Journey with a man or a woman. So no they shouldn't have to go out of their way to hide they are a girl, but they also don't need to announce it like they are some kind of anomaly and it deserves special mention that they are a girl. Instead just be a gamer if you want to be a gamer, and let the way you play speak for itself.

 

[Padwolf]

Well, as a girl, I don't hide my gender or anything, and would never go out of my way to hide it. However I'd never go any length to point out my gender either. If someone mistakes me for a guy then I'd say "I'm actually a girl" and leave it at that. And pretty much what the person above me said, just be who you are and let how you play speak for you rather than your gender.

 

[Anthony Corrigan]

Its funny but most of the "gamer girls" I know are COD people, not nerds (though I know a few of them) and not casual gamers. Whats funny about that is the sexist comments that they guy who made heavy rain made. Firstly his stupid comments that you cant have emotion in a game without photo realism which is just ridiculous when you think about how much emotion is in games like Journey and Tomas was alone. The second insulting and sexist comment he made was that women can't play shooters because they have to emotionally engage with the characters and that men cant emotionally connect with a story and just "mindless" shooters. Sorry but I emotionally invested in my female Commander Shepard and I know lots of girls who sit down for a day long session of COD multiplayer

 

[Vegosiux]

Well, I suppose "girl gamers"[footnote]"Hey folks, we raiding today?"[/footnote] and "gurrrrrl gamers"[footnote]"Hey boys, anyone wanna help a cute girl out? <3"[/footnote] get confused now and then. Of course, the fact that so many gamer guys drool over the latter and immediately start to hit on or harass the former isn't helping the matters any, either.

I do tend to keep my gaming relationships with people I don't know impersonal anyway, and well, when playing with actual friends, I tend to know what they are, I mean, being friends and knowing stuff about each other and whatnot.

 

[wintercoat]

No. "fake gamers" definitely exist, and some of them are even girls. There's always a few people that latch onto a popular culture in order to try and fit in, but know very little to nothing about said culture. There's just so few of them, they don't matter. There's like a handful of them out there. And who cares if they want to spend their time pretending to like something to try and fit in? If it lets them connect with others and make friends, what's the harm? There's so few of them, it's like worrying about the apocalypse every time someone decides next week is the end of days. They aren't some invasive parasitic species biologically driven to destroy our culture, after all. No matter what some people wish to believe.

 

[Kopikatsu]

Most people I've met online that claimed to be female ended up being men. Similarly, I happen to personally know a number of men who pretend to be women online for the perks (IE being able to get free items in online games), and one of them even utilizes a paid voice changer to do so.

So forgive me for being skeptical. 'On the internet, men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents'.

 

[Mudokon]

I was talking to a colleague of mine the other day and he claimed he had never met a "Girl Gamer" I told him that there are tons of Women of all ages that play all kinds of games. In my life I have always met them, from FPS's to Simulators, RPG's to RTS's and Puzzle Platforms, there is a Girl for every Game. This got me thinking about the politics of gaming and gender.
.

Tell to your friend to come at the internet cafe im working right now, male gamers are always more here but right now there are 3 girls playing never winter mmo, 1 girl playing battle field 3, 1 girl with his boyfriend playing at ps3 mortal kombat, 2 girls on facebook playing some games that i dont know cause i never play these kind of games, and 1 girl playing wow, and these girls are only at the internet cafe where i work right now, that means there are a tons of girls playing now through out the world. its a little bit strange he didnt notice about them.

 

[Anthony Corrigan]

I was talking to a colleague of mine the other day and he claimed he had never met a "Girl Gamer" I told him that there are tons of Women of all ages that play all kinds of games. In my life I have always met them, from FPS's to Simulators, RPG's to RTS's and Puzzle Platforms, there is a Girl for every Game. This got me thinking about the politics of gaming and gender.
.

Tell to your friend to come at the internet cafe im working right now, male gamers are always more here but right now there are 3 girls playing never winter mmo, 1 girl playing battle field 3, 1 girl with his boyfriend playing at ps3 mortal kombat, 2 girls on facebook playing some games that i dont know cause i never play these kind of games, and 1 girl playing wow, and these girls are only at the internet cafe where i work right now, that means there are a tons of girls playing now through out the world. its a little bit strange he didnt notice about them.

Exactly, my partner is a gamer, mainly the sims and a few other games but she is looking forward to the last of us
The girls at my work are mainly COD people as is my sister in law
Some friends of my partners are real nerds with all that entails

The whole "there are no girls on the internet" is the most sexist bull

Edit to add:
http://www.theesa.com/facts/pdfs/ESA_EF_2012.pdf

47% of gamers are women

 

[Phasmal]

Recently I watched a talk about the experiences of women while playing online. It was interesting, with examples of good and bad experiences (though the majority were bad). Several known websites were pointed out where people collect messages from people they had the 'pleasure' of playing with.

The video was downvoted to hell and the whole comment section was full about whining how there are no girls gaming, how it is their fault, how they asked for it by 'announcing their gender' (which can be anything from having a female sounding nickname to talking in a teambased competitive game) and weak differentiations between 'girl gamers' and 'gurrl gamers' (which is bullshit in its own way)... There you have it.

Yeah this.
To be honest, I hide.
I don't use mic, even when I could use it to help someone quickly when I don't have the time to type, I'd rather let some random die than have shit thrown at me. If somebody asked me if I was a girl, I would say yeah, but I never give them a reason to ask.
My friends are specifically forbidden from `outing` me in a public game.

It's more trouble than it's worth. I have never had a guy fall over about me being a girl who plays games. I don't even believe that is a thing that happens, unfortunately some guy gamers do think it must be happening to me all the time so they should be even worse so I don't have it `easy`.

It is kind of annoying when you run into those guys IRL who don't believe girl gamers exist, but I think any guy who thinks about it properly will realise we are there, just hidden.

And for you people who believe we just fake it because we so desperately need to be liked by gamer guys, I have a simple message for you:

EDIT: Fake gamers, guurl gamers, casual gamers, isn't it funny how many distinctions we have to pass through to be afforded the same `status` as some guy who wanders into any game?

 

[Angelblaze]

It sucks that girls get harassed when they try to play games and all of that but honestly I don't think there's a need for anyone to go out of their way to point out their gender anyway. It doesn't enhance the experience of gaming any to know you're playing Journey with a man or a woman. So no they shouldn't have to go out of their way to hide they are a girl, but they also don't need to announce it like they are some kind of anomaly and it deserves special mention that they are a girl. Instead just be a gamer if you want to be a gamer, and let the way you play speak for itself.

Its hard for me to hide my gender when I'm talking through a mic or when I have a name that could be considered anywhere near moderately feminine.

 

[generals3]

The whole "there are no girls on the internet" is the most sexist bull

Depends on how you look at it. It's just an absurd exaggeration if you ask me. One which is often based on experience. If you play EVE online with its wopping 4% female players you'll probably get the impression there are no girls around, same with CoD which has a wopping 8% of female players. And imagine if you stick to typically male dominated games (Shooters, RTS's, Sci-fi, etc.)? Sure its idiotic to make that claim but tbh I think most people who say that don't believe it themselves, it's more of a way to say its male dominated space, which is in many cases true.

It's like saying something isn't worth a dime or saying someone is braindead. In both cases you know it's a gross exaggeration just meant to get a point across.

 

[Fdzzaigl]

I've met a lot of gamer girls in my time and I've only very rarely seen them being harassed in any significant way.

In fact, I was once leader of an MMORPG guild and one of the girls was actually trying to actively use her "girlhood" to get certain advantages over others in raids / groups etc. (which was a real pickle to resolve).

Of course I'm sure it exists, but I think most women know how to hold their own.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I doubt anybody's hiding. Ostensibly 47% of gamers are female. I guess most of them don't go online for playing videogames. I know lots of gamers that stick to their single-player and leave it at that.

 

[Anthony Corrigan]

The whole "there are no girls on the internet" is the most sexist bull

Depends on how you look at it. It's just an absurd exaggeration if you ask me. One which is often based on experience. If you play EVE online with its wopping 4% female players you'll probably get the impression there are no girls around, same with CoD which has a wopping 8% of female players. And imagine if you stick to typically male dominated games (Shooters, RTS's, Sci-fi, etc.)? Sure its idiotic to make that claim but tbh I think most people who say that don't believe it themselves, it's more of a way to say its male dominated space, which is in many cases true.

Where did you get your figures? because this would dispute it

http://gamercrave.com/whos-playing-call-of-duty-modern-warfare-2-women/762/

Nielsen Games, a market research group, found that in September, females accounted for 30 percent of all Modern Warfare players on the PC.

...
. Surprisingly, the gender gap in World of Warcraft is very slim in Nielsen homes, with 42 percent female players. Half-Life 2 was not as popular among the fairer sex, with females comprising 22 percent of players in September.

 

[BreakfastMan]

You know, the reason many women don't talk about there gaming habits online? It is because they often get harassed to hell and back when they do. I really doubt you are going to get many women to "come out", because of that...

Besides, it seems wrong that the onus should be on the victims to put up with abuse, so the perpetrators can become less stupidly bigoted (yes, online gaming is very stupidly bigoted, we all know it).

 

[generals3]

The whole "there are no girls on the internet" is the most sexist bull

Depends on how you look at it. It's just an absurd exaggeration if you ask me. One which is often based on experience. If you play EVE online with its wopping 4% female players you'll probably get the impression there are no girls around, same with CoD which has a wopping 8% of female players. And imagine if you stick to typically male dominated games (Shooters, RTS's, Sci-fi, etc.)? Sure its idiotic to make that claim but tbh I think most people who say that don't believe it themselves, it's more of a way to say its male dominated space, which is in many cases true.

Where did you get your figures? because this would dispute it

http://gamercrave.com/whos-playing-call-of-duty-modern-warfare-2-women/762/

Nielsen Games, a market research group, found that in September, females accounted for 30 percent of all Modern Warfare players on the PC.

...
. Surprisingly, the gender gap in World of Warcraft is very slim in Nielsen homes, with 42 percent female players. Half-Life 2 was not as popular among the fairer sex, with females comprising 22 percent of players in September.

http://www.casualnews.com/the-demographics-of-social-games-surprise-or-not/

problem is that it is not specified which CoD it is.

And than there is this for EVE-O http://www.destructoid.com/boy-s-club-why-don-t-more-women-play-eve-online--254710.phtml

 

[Colour Scientist]

The only game I frequently play online is Halo.
My spartan is female and I occasionally go on mic, usually when I'm playing with friends.
While I have received messages that are like "u a girl? Show me ur tits?" or there was one particular dude who kept sending me friend requests along with abusive messages every time I didn't respond.

More frequently, I just get a shit ton of game invites and friend requests, which I mostly ignore. Occasionally, I'll ask someone why they're adding me and they never reply.

Le Snip

I totally understand why you do that but I do wish that girls would stop hiding the fact that they're playing.
I just can't help but feel that the community will be slower to lose these retarded attitudes if we're hiding behind male avatars.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

There are such things as fake girl gamers. They're often made up for marketing purposes. I've seen some of the commercials they have in the US. They're not representative of who will be buying the games and completely miss the point. As far as actual people who only pretend to be into gaming but aren't, all I can say is I've never met any, and it's a massive commitment if you're not even enjoying yourself.

Girl gamers don't have to hide. Nor do they have to make their gender an issue wherever they go, as is sometimes the case. In my opinion, the fact that there are many more female gamers than some people give them credit for is more a sign of equality than an obvious scarcity. Online gaming is a largely anonymous community. The majority of players are male, so it makes sense to assume in your mind that another player might be male, and people do impersonate females in the hopes of receiving gifts in-game from other players, so it's also reasonable to be suspicious of an overtly female player where most people of both genders are happy being unknown. Also, not being a proper gamer and cashing in on being a female are two seperate things. I don't know what it is, but I've seen a series called "Girl plays Dark Souls" recommended to me on the right-hand list on Youtube, and I can guess. That level of pandering is ridiculous, and that the person producing such tripe would consider that to be enough of a distinction or selling point is part of the problem.

Another important distinction that needs to be made is there's a difference between it being simply evident that a player is a girl when they use a mic or something, and a player 'announcing their gender'. It takes a reasonably hamhanded approach for me to accuse people of that, but it does happen, and why? If gender is irrelevant to your gaming, why involve it? Does that not sort of imply that it is relevant somehow, and that the player expects special (whatever that may entail) treatment? And is that not supported by the fact that that is exactly what some people do, for exactly that purpose?

Nobody quote me and say "So I'm not allowed to use a username with the word girl in it or I'm making an issue out of my gender". That's not the case. My thresholds are higher than that.

As for sending abusive PMs and verbal abuse, some people are fuckwits, can't do much about that except be reasonable yourself and make people aware of the mute and block features of whatever system they're on.

EDIT:

Edit to add:
http://www.theesa.com/facts/pdfs/ESA_EF_2012.pdf

47% of gamers are women

Includes parents, includes mobile gamers, includes Facebook gamers. We went over this in the thread this was announced in. Call me sexist and insecure for dismissing the notion that half of gamers are females by accusing them of including casuals, but that's essentially what I'm doing. When someone does a study that shows about half of all gamers who play videogames on a PC or console by their own volition and in their own time are female, I'll concede the point and be happy doing it.