MakerofMysteries said:
So a lot of movies, books, hell, even games, especially those dating simulators, empathise "winning" someone's love; in fact it's a rather common view throughout society, with deep roots in various fables and legends. As such, my query; why these mad mating rituals?
Perhaps I should explain. If we are to take the stereotypical example of a boy trying to win the girl of his dreams (probably defeating some evil arch nemesis along the way whilst performing a rocking guitar solo), the story usually goes that she initially shows no interest for him, perhaps even disdain, thus prompting him to impress her through various spectacles of supposed affection. In the end, she'll fall for him due to all his wacky, cloying attempts at romance, cut to kisses and wedding scene, the end.
Well, I think the issue is that these stories have roots in certain fairy tales or other old stories.
Recall that "romantic love" or "marrying for love" is a fairly recent concept. Historically, it was more common for marriage to be the results of land mergers between families. Before that, it involved land gifts from lords or their vassals - say a King to his Knights. A knight would have to prove his worth to his king. If he did so, he'd "win" a wife.
That's where the Knight saving the lady from the dragon, and then getting to marry her comes from. It became rooted in fairy tales - the Knight (or Prince to up the stakes) rescues the Lady (or Princess) from some danger and his reward is marriage.
A few old tales reversed or messed with this trope - Gaiwane and the Loathly Lady, for instance, had the Knight marry the Witch out of duty to his lord. He was then rewarded when the Witch turned out to be hot.
Going back further, think of the animal kingdom in general. Males often have to do mating rituals to impress a female for the purposes of breeding. Why? To prove that they're superior genetic stock. The female deer wants strong children, so she mates with the buck that kills three other bucks in one-on-one combat.
Back to fairy tales, the Knight who slays the Dragon, when a dozen other knights fell to it's teeth and breath, has proven that he is superior genetic stock.
All of this has seeped into the collective consciousness. Today, men get into fights to impress women, or buy fancy cars to show how wealthy they are. These are ways of proving that they are superior genetic stock and thus attract a mate.
Is this a good thing? No. Not it is not. There are better ways to choose today. However, these ideas have been around for hundreds of thousands of years, since before humans even evolved into our current state.
And in any case, I tend to find that method of romantic storytelling lazy. Sure, you need to create romantic tension, but that artificial "Excuse Me Princess!" style conflict just doesn't come off as real.
A better method is having the characters get to know one another. Even if two people have an instant attraction, most of the time - particularly if there's world saving adventuring to do - hook-ups aren't a top priority. Once the characters get to know one another, then they can start to develop feelings.
Anyway... I feel like I've wandered rather far off topic here. Still, I think I covered it in there somewhere.
