Witty/Effective Threats

[Irridium]

Go kill yourself, come back to life,then kill yourself again.

someone said that to me once, and I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

 

[traceur_]

Come here, I'm gonna beat the stupid out of you!

 

[Dash-X]

Thanks for the cookie, FROGGEman2. I actually use that one to threaten people.

Another one I use (albeit less frequently):

"I was so hoping to avoid getting crap on my shoes today."

 

[grimsprice]

''if you don't stop looking at my girlfriends ass i'm going to tear your eyes out and staple them to your nipples.''

thats got to be one of my favorites.

 

[pompom8volt]

"shut up unless you want my finger up your ass"

just think about it for a little while...

 

[BuckminsterF]

*AHEM* [pulls out revovler, points at head]

 

[Clairaudient]

"I'm going to punch out all your blood"

 

[Pimppeter2]

Walk into a room


Psshhhit

I just open up a can of whoop ass

 

[shadowstriker86]

"I'm gonna personally tear your heart outta your ass and shove it back down your throat"

As they're stunned from the statement you kick them in the nuts

 

[ActionDan]

"Shut the **** up you shaft sucking, ball-sack bashing, testicle molester."

Works because everyone around me laughs at my unique brand of swearing, so the person who I aimed it at can't get a word in.

 

[nova18]

"Im going to beat you like a ginger stepchild."
Its a popular one in the UK, especially for builders.

"Im gonna fuck your mother and use your tears as lubricant".
I used this one once and it was quoted for about a month by people that heard it.

 

[once]

I'm not sure if I'm going to run my knife from your **** to your throat and watch you slowly fall out of yourself, or if i'm going to creep in at night, tie you to the bed, and force drano down your throat while I light you on fire. There are ways to find blocked numbers, and once I have your number, I have your address. Once I have your address, I have a decision to make. I suggest you do not call this number again.

 

[Mcupobob]

My grandpa used this line all the time

"Boy your gonna look funny going to the hospitl with my boot up your ass!"