Workshop an insane idea please?

[DarklordKyo]

That is exactly why I said what I said. Does he want to keep making that mistake the rest of his life?

Gotcha, sorry, misunderstood, and it is worth noting that he has a counselor, so most likely not.

 

[DarklordKyo]

I'm jealous. Here I am eternally single and alone, unable to get anyone to notice me, yearning for some kind of human contact, and your friend who also has social anxiety has guys asking HIM out. Nobody has ever asked me out in my life. I wish I were as good looking and charming as he apparently is. Tell him he's being ridiculous.

Sorry dude, didn't mean to open up old wounds :-(

 

[DarklordKyo]

No need to apologize. My wounds don't closed. I just need to project now and then.

Gotcha, still

 

[RobertEHouse]

I have this friend who has some serious relationship anxiety. For example, one time, when the dude he had a crush on asked him out, he instantly shot the guy down because of said anxiety. Now, you never know what the future holds, and, for all we know, he could be destined to be some lucky guy's house spouse. Towards the end of helping him deal with his relationship anxiety, I had an idea that, honestly, is insane even by my standards.

I'm considering asking him out on a date.

Now bear with me, let me clear up a few things. First of all, I'll make sure he's fully aware of my plan, I'll point out that there aren't any ulterior motives, though we've gotten tight enough that he might not bring that up, and, in hopes of making it easier for him to try, I'll point out that, to an extent, a date's just a private hang out session with possible, consensual intimacy (and he and I hang out pretty regularly already), and I'd limit it to only hugs just to ease him in.

That said though, even I'm thinking this is too insane to work, but what do you doods think? Should I roll the dice?, or should I just hope that he grows as a person on his own?

If you are that close then don't create a "battle plan" as it will not work. 'DON'T' make them aware of such a plan in the first place because you can make the person feel "under Pressure".This is true for anyone that has any type of anxiety mentioning your plans would do you more harm then good.


DarkLordKyo simply hang out with them,have fun like you normally would do. Eventually you will find a moment somewhere to ask them out.

 

[Asita]

...No? "You and your date set up him and someone you think would hit it off with him". The assumption of this is that you're going out with someone other than your friend. So you arrange a date with someone, and you and/or your date figure out someone who would get on well with your friend. The four of you go out, you're there to coach, calm, and/or correct course for your friend as needed.

My friend IS the date.

And I am suggesting an alternative to an idea that you yourself described as "too insane to work". Hence "wouldn't it be just as easy".

Serious question, DK: Is this just a pretext for you to ask the guy out? I mean it was just the other week that you were asking for advice about hypothetically ending up with a guy, and now here you are seemingly seeking validation for an idea about asking a guy out. Is this really about helping the guy's social anxiety, or is this the guy you were mulling over a future with? Because if not, I suggest double dating as a superior way to help with the anxiety over pretending to date him. But if you are hoping to get a relationship out of this, the pretense is only setting you up to be hurt.

 

[DarklordKyo]

Serious question, DK: Is this just a pretext for you to ask the guy out? I mean it was just the other week that you were asking for advice about hypothetically ending up with a guy, and now here you are seemingly seeking validation for an idea about asking a guy out. Is this really about helping the guy's social anxiety, or is this the guy you were mulling over a future with? Because if not, I suggest double dating as a superior way to help with the anxiety over pretending to date him. But if you are hoping to get a relationship out of this, the pretense is only setting you up to be hurt.

Logical deduction, but it's pure coincidence. Honestly, I was purely being hypothetical, because, to be frank, I doubt I'm the right guy for anyone right now.

Good guess, but it is purely for therapy.

Also, I'm too busy for a serious relationship right now, K.ROOL STOLE MAH NANNERS!, lol

 

[DarklordKyo]

So in other words you also have relationship anxiety to the point where you need to do all these mental gymnastics to find a scenario where you feel comfortable asking him out.

I second the guy who told you to grow up and start handling this stuff like two adults because honestly, none of this sounds like a basis for a good relationship in any fashion. Time to open yourself to the possibility of getting shot down my man, have some courage.

To be honest, while I can see your basis for saying that, it's unneeded. The whole idea is primarily for therapy, and getting an adorable boyfriend would, honestly, be a happy accident. Besides, I asked someone out, and got shot down, a while ago, so I got nothing against rejection.

 

[Squilookle]

So in other words you also have relationship anxiety to the point where you need to do all these mental gymnastics to find a scenario where you feel comfortable asking him out.

I second the guy who told you to grow up and start handling this stuff like two adults because honestly, none of this sounds like a basis for a good relationship in any fashion. Time to open yourself to the possibility of getting shot down my man, have some courage.

To be honest, while I can see your basis for saying that, it's unneeded. The whole idea is primarily for therapy, and getting an adorable boyfriend would, honestly, be a happy accident. Besides, I asked someone out, and got shot down, a while ago, so I got nothing against rejection.

Don't you think it's a bit insincere to treat the prospect of dating someone as a mere 'happy accident'? If I started dating someone and found out later they just started it as an experiment (regardless of how benevolent) and when the relationship got deeper they merely saw it as a happy accident, I'd be pretty damn insulted. If someone wants to date me, it should be because they want to date me. Anything less is a farce.

 

[DarklordKyo]

Don't you think it's a bit insincere to treat the prospect of dating someone as a mere 'happy accident'? If I started dating someone and found out later they just started it as an experiment (regardless of how benevolent) and when the relationship got deeper they merely saw it as a happy accident, I'd be pretty damn insulted. If someone wants to date me, it should be because they want to date me. Anything less is a farce.

Fair, fair, didn't mean to make it sound so assholish though, sorry about that.