World's best suggested paradox

[Irony's Acolyte]

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men got up to fight, back to back they faced eachover, drew the swords and shot eachover.

best paradox story i know

"He sees!" said the mute man of the blind man to the deaf man who heard him.

Although technically neither of these including the whole "Everything I say is a lie." aren't paradoxs. They're just incorrect. A mute man wouldn't be able to speak. So either he's speaking, and thus not mute, or he isn't. If he's speaking then he's still speaking, if he isn't then he isn't. The "Everything I say is a lie" statement can easily be called a lie without a paradox, all just because you are lying now doesn't mean that you always lie.

And while they are not paradoxes, its still fun as hell to think about they're impossibility.

A true paradox would be if you went back in time and killed yourself, thus causing you to cease existing in the future (this theoritical event subscribes to the idea that you can change the past without creating new timeline). Since you no longer exist in the future, you can't kill yourself in the past which means that you now exist in the future to kill yourself in the past causing yourself to not exist in the future thus rendering... See what I'm getting at when I say paradox?

The mute man and the deaf man are telepathic.

Eh, I guess you could explain it that way. But we all know what I was talking about.

Stupid psychics poking holes in my logic...

 

[Hussmann54]

The paradox of motion named 'Achilles And The Tortoise"

In the paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise, Achilles is in a footrace with the tortoise. Achilles allows the tortoise a head start of 100 metres. If we suppose that each racer starts running at some constant speed (one very fast and one very slow), then after some finite time, Achilles will have run 100 metres, bringing him to the tortoise's starting point. During this time, the tortoise has run a much shorter distance, say, 10 metres. It will then take Achilles some further time to run that distance, by which time the tortoise will have advanced farther; and then more time still to reach this third point, while the tortoise moves ahead. Thus, whenever Achilles reaches somewhere the tortoise has been, he still has farther to go. Therefore, because there are an infinite number of points Achilles must reach where the tortoise has already been, he can never overtake the tortoise

isnt that dependent on them moving at the same speed?

 

[Hussmann54]

1: Yes

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it Does it make a sound?

Answer: No
Ask yourself, What is sound?
Sound is basically vibrations cause by impact or movement (take a drum as a basic example). A drum stick hits the head of the drum, the whole thing vibrates air molecules around it. The vibrations (AKA sound waves), travel through the air at very high speeds. If a person is in the vicinity (presumably having a working ear) the ear will convert the vibration that reaches it into what we perceive as sound.

If nobody is around, then nothing is there to convert it into sound, therefor all you have are vibrations in the air, not "Sound". The way ear plugs block sound is by preventing the eardrum from receiving vibrations.

FUN FACT: However, it is possible to pick up vibrations in the ear drum despite deafness, or plugs etc, if the source of the vibrations is placed on the skin near the ear on the skull.

 

[Hussmann54]

1: Yes

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it Does it make a sound?

Answer: No
Ask yourself, What is sound?
Sound is basically vibrations cause by impact or movement (take a drum as a basic example). A drum stick hits the head of the drum, the whole thing vibrates air molecules around it. The vibrations (AKA sound waves), travel through the air at very high speeds. If a person is in the vicinity (presumably having a working ear) the ear will convert the vibration that reaches it into what we perceive as sound.

If nobody is around, then nothing is there to convert it into sound, therefor all you have are vibrations in the air, not "Sound". The way ear plugs block sound is by preventing the eardrum from receiving vibrations.

FUN FACT: However, it is possible to pick up vibrations in the ear drum despite deafness, or plugs etc, if the source of the vibrations is placed on the skin near the ear on the skull.

One mistake. You said nobody, not nothing. Animals don't count under nobody.

True... but I have reached the same result when I swap in "Nothing".
OR...
What if I count animals in the "Nobody" category.

 

[crepesack]

You're in a car going at the speed of light. It is pitch black outside and then you turn on the headlights. Do you see anything?

You become energy at the speed of light. In essence you are light. So no. You're dead.

 

[TilMorrow]

IF this sentence is true then it is false.

You're assuming it has to be true to be false. But it's actually a Square-Rectangle situation. It can be true and therefor false (a square is a rectangle) but it can be false without being true (a rectangle is not a square

I believe you may be mistaken in the understanding of the meaning behind my paradox.
I do not mean that when this sentence is related to something like Shape A and Shape B it means Shape A is Shape B but is not.

What I literally mean is the statement made in my sentence is true thenit is false.

Again I repeat, If this statement is true then it is false.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Mine is:
What happens if you put super glue on a Teflon-covered frying pan?

That is all I have to say on that.

 

[smeghead25]

The last man on earth sat in a room.

then there came a knock on the door.



----
shortest scary story ever.

I would love to be that last man on Earth when they come a knockin'

 

[crudus]

Socratic paradox: "I know that I know nothing at all.

At the very least it is a personal favorite of mine.

Freezerburn.

Jumbo shrimp.

But wait, those are oxymorons (sp?). But they count as parodoxes, they're just one word...

As for the riddle type: I got nothing sorry...

there's a difference between Paradoxes and an oxymoron. "Jumbo shrimp" is just larger than average shrimp. They clearly exist. A good portion of them are relative to context.

A paradox is a logical contradiction.

Curry's Paradox [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curry%27s_paradox], a logical paradox that allows you to "prove" any given statement:

If this sentence is true then Santa Claus exists.
If this sentence is true then the sky is green.
If this sentence is true then God exists.
If this sentence is true then God does not exist.

All of those sentences are true. It's great.

The problem is Curry's Paradox is just valid, not sound. A valid argument is set up in such a way where given the premises the conclusion cannot be untrue. Example "All birds are mammals. A platypus is a bird. Therefore, the platypus is a mammal". Now this is a valid argument because given the premises, the conclusion must be true. An argument is sound if the premises are actually true. Curry's Paradox isn't a paradox at all. It is just uses the definition of valid and sound arguments to its advantage. It is a fun parlor trick but no paradox.

Mine is:
What happens if you put super glue on a Teflon-covered frying pan?

Can't that be tested?

 

[royohz]

Mine is:
What happens if you put super glue on a Teflon-covered frying pan?

Can't that be tested?

Hmm, I suppose. However, I'd prefer it if I didn't destroy the universe...

 

[chiMmy]

if you travel back in time for one day, meet yourself, have sex with yourself, is it incest or masturbation. :|

Why would that be a paradox?

It seems a lot of people don't actually know what a paradox is

 

[Ewyx]

if you travel back in time for one day, meet yourself, have sex with yourself, is it incest or masturbation. :|

Why would that be a paradox?

It seems a lot of people don't actually know what a paradox is

guess I just went with the theme of the thread, was trying to post a funny statement more than an actual paradox, since most of them are just dumb discussions over semantics anyway.

 

[Redingold]

How long will it take you to cross a crosswalk if with each step, you cut the distance you walked with the prior step by half?

You would make it if you initially stepped more than halfway across the crosswalk.

Also I forget the name but what's the smallest number not nameable in under 10 words?

I say it again what's

1. The
2. Smallest
3. Number
4. Not
5. Nameable
6. In
7. Under
8. Ten
9. Words?

I think that's Richard's Paradox.

It's false because that sentence does not actually define a number unambiguously.

 

[Redingold]

1: Yes

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it Does it make a sound?

Answer: No
Ask yourself, What is sound?
Sound is basically vibrations cause by impact or movement (take a drum as a basic example). A drum stick hits the head of the drum, the whole thing vibrates air molecules around it. The vibrations (AKA sound waves), travel through the air at very high speeds. If a person is in the vicinity (presumably having a working ear) the ear will convert the vibration that reaches it into what we perceive as sound.

If nobody is around, then nothing is there to convert it into sound, therefor all you have are vibrations in the air, not "Sound". The way ear plugs block sound is by preventing the eardrum from receiving vibrations.

FUN FACT: However, it is possible to pick up vibrations in the ear drum despite deafness, or plugs etc, if the source of the vibrations is placed on the skin near the ear on the skull.

One mistake. You said nobody, not nothing. Animals don't count under nobody.

True... but I have reached the same result when I swap in "Nothing".
OR...
What if I count animals in the "Nobody" category.

If a tree falls in the forest and there's no-one there to see it fall, does it actually fall?

Additionally, a sound is simply a wave, not the perception of a wave. So it still makes a sound.

If you were to ask if the quale of sound existed, the answer would be no.

 

[Ildecia]

what happens if you glue some toast butter side up to the back of a cat, and then drop the cat?

i laughed at this so much before i could do anything else.

I'm going with the whole buttered toast thing as well

 

[Marowit]

I know what you are, but what am I?

 

[esperandote]

"this sentece consists of eight words" is false but if you deny it
"this sentece does not consists of eight words" is still false

 

[x EvilErmine x]

How long will it take you to cross a crosswalk if with each step, you cut the distance you walked with the prior step by half?

That's easy, you would never get across the road. You would get 99.99% recurring they way across but would never actually get there

 

[NLS]

If you try to fail, and you succeed, what have you done?

 

[x EvilErmine x]

"this sentece consists of eight words" is false but if you deny it
"this sentece does not consists of eight words" is still false

It's not if you say doesn't and not does not p

~~~EDIT~~~

Ooops looks like you were right in the first place...my bad /