Worst Excuses

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pyros550

pyros550

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Jan 25, 2009
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We've all been there, you've given the worst excuse of your life and now people either think you're a psycho or seriously lonely. But what has been the worst excuse you've ever given or heard?

Mine has to be being told that the reason someone was better with girls than i was was that they had a girlfriend for 3 years, yet never kissed her.
 
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Snowalker

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Nov 8, 2008
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I was doing something that could injure me and my friend ran off. His excuse was...

Hey man, sorry my cat meowed. The world lost a young man that day.
 
Neesa

Neesa

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Jan 29, 2009
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This girl I was trying to be cool friends with and she told me:

"We're being friends too fast."
 
ellimist337

ellimist337

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Sep 30, 2008
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It's not a terrible excuse in itself, but I use "a family thing" way too often, especially because it often isn't even true. I also work with a woman who is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. In a year of working with her, she has been angry only once, and it was very brief (this was only when somebody swore directly at her- and I work at a bank, so it was uncalled for). She would never do anything to anybody, but it's a running joke to blame things she would never, ever do on her.
 
Bolverk

Bolverk

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Jan 4, 2009
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'The pink hippo stole my pants' is used with me and my friend Chrissy as an excuse for whenever I don't have pants on when I'm supposed to be going somewhere. Usually as a delaying tactic while she hunts around my room looking for pants and I roll over and go back to sleep.

'Best' worst excuse to get out of a conversation is either:
-Uh...I have to...um...Tie my shoes up...uh...OVER THERE. *run off*
or
-LOOK A DISTRACTION! *run off*


Or when you make a prat of yourself in a conversation and the person you are talking to says something that makes what you said make no sense and they say so, reply with 'Your face doesn't make sense'....Although I wouldn't recommend using that on someone you don't know. Friends can appreciate the joke behind it. A stranger might take offence.
 
pyros550

pyros550

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Jan 25, 2009
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oh yeah! I use 'so's your mum' and 'so's your face' more times than i've ever had hot dinners.

man i wish i had an oven...
 
Jark212

Jark212

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Jul 17, 2008
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Man sleeps with a 12 year old girl. "I thought she was 9"

True story, those Japanese...

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2008/09/10/accidental-sex-with-12-year-old-%e2%80%93-%e2%80%9ci-thought-she-was-9%e2%80%9d/
 
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Whobajube

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Mar 25, 2008
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So I was an RA in my residence at College... and occasionally I like to partake in the use of a certain controlled substance. So one night, I was coming down the stairs from third floor with a couple of friends, heading outside with a bong. When we get to second floor, who should walk out into the stairwell, but the security guy. He clearly sees the bong, and we just sort of stare at each other for a second, until finally I say "Uhh.... I found this on third floor... I'm confiscating it, and taking it to the office now." He obviously doesn't believe me, but I know him pretty well, so he lets us off and tells us to be a little more discreet next time... haha.
 
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cleverlymadeup

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Mar 7, 2008
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some form of "i'm busy" or "i don't have time" but then go off and do something with someone else

EDIT: i should say that after they've said they weren't doing anything or had school or work stuff to do
 
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