Worst Excuses
- Thread starter pyros550
- Start date
Recommended Videos
"Silly Japanese, sex is not for kids!"Jark212 said:
Whenever my dad tries to explain to someone anything anatomical, astronomical, mechanical or any other sort of science, it all boils down to "Physics."
The best part is that this one actually happened...
Officer, "Okay, I'm just going to need your license..."
My friend, "Alright sir, I just need to get it out of my pocket." *reaches for pocket and finds no wallet* "Umm, Teddy, do you have my wallet?"
Me, "Dude... Shit it's in my coat!"
Officer, "Son, you aren't wearing a coat..."\
Me, "Yeah, it's on Ethan... At BK."
Officer, "Okay, listen, I'm going to go get it, can you point him out?"
My friend, "Yeah, he looks like Scooby Doo, and is in a huge black trench coat."
*He goes, finds Ethan, and comes back to the car. With the box for a pregnancy test...*
Officer, "Listen, this was all he had..."
*Hands my friend the box*
My friend, "Well here you go." *Opens the box and withdraws his drivers license*
Officer, "..."
My friend, "Dude, people steal wallets all the time, who in their right mind would steal that?"
The cop let us off with a warning for whatever we did, and his excuse was "Listen, I should probably take this all down, but I really can't stand either of you..."
So in the end we got a warning for being weird.
Officer, "Okay, I'm just going to need your license..."
My friend, "Alright sir, I just need to get it out of my pocket." *reaches for pocket and finds no wallet* "Umm, Teddy, do you have my wallet?"
Me, "Dude... Shit it's in my coat!"
Officer, "Son, you aren't wearing a coat..."\
Me, "Yeah, it's on Ethan... At BK."
Officer, "Okay, listen, I'm going to go get it, can you point him out?"
My friend, "Yeah, he looks like Scooby Doo, and is in a huge black trench coat."
*He goes, finds Ethan, and comes back to the car. With the box for a pregnancy test...*
Officer, "Listen, this was all he had..."
*Hands my friend the box*
My friend, "Well here you go." *Opens the box and withdraws his drivers license*
Officer, "..."
My friend, "Dude, people steal wallets all the time, who in their right mind would steal that?"
The cop let us off with a warning for whatever we did, and his excuse was "Listen, I should probably take this all down, but I really can't stand either of you..."
So in the end we got a warning for being weird.
This one was actually used by someone.
Day 1- *Guy comes in late* "Sorry I was late, my dog died."
Day 2- *Guy comes in late* "Sorry I was late, my dog got out of the house."
Day 1- *Guy comes in late* "Sorry I was late, my dog died."
Day 2- *Guy comes in late* "Sorry I was late, my dog got out of the house."
I guess the major mistakes would be not being consistent, making the lies too big and forgetting your excuses.
I think this is a pretty good illustration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEW7SZN0Tqk
I think this is a pretty good illustration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEW7SZN0Tqk
"Honestly, officer, this isn't my car!"
Worst one I've been accused of using: "I'll do it later." (and then end up never doing it)
Worst one I've been accused of using: "I'll do it later." (and then end up never doing it)
ive got one i used once, its a homework one! yaay...
"my cat fell asleep on it and i couldnt finish it in time"...?
true story actually...
"my cat fell asleep on it and i couldnt finish it in time"...?
true story actually...
"Well, I just couldn't be fucked doing it. Have you checked on your wife?" - in response to a teacher who had asked a fellow classmate why he hadn't done his homework.
"I was having sex at the time, so it was okay." - used by a Polish guy explaining a car crash. Smooth, man. Real smooth.
"I was having sex at the time, so it was okay." - used by a Polish guy explaining a car crash. Smooth, man. Real smooth.
"I was under the impression that you wanted me to (Insert misdeed here)"
"I thought that was due next week" For added effect use it on the last day of class.
"Can't" "Why?" "Just can't"
"I'd absolutely love to help you paint your house. If by paint you mean borrow and by house you mean Porsche."
I actually do use this one quite frequently, usually after failing at simple addition. "I'm an English major I don't need to know math."
Of course you can't forget the modern twist on an old classic: "The Xbox made me do it."
"I thought that was due next week" For added effect use it on the last day of class.
"Can't" "Why?" "Just can't"
"I'd absolutely love to help you paint your house. If by paint you mean borrow and by house you mean Porsche."
I actually do use this one quite frequently, usually after failing at simple addition. "I'm an English major I don't need to know math."
Of course you can't forget the modern twist on an old classic: "The Xbox made me do it."
Forza motorsport 2, me and my friends have a championship going. Round 4, new york my friend qualified in 2nd, looked good for the win (perhaps), missed the braking zone in turn 1 completely smashed head-on into the wall and after a few seconds... "lag".
I once told my teacher that I couldnt do my homework because I got my dick sstuck in my fly and had to stay in the hospital all day, and that I could show her the stiches if she wanted to.
See was not as amused as the rest of the class
See was not as amused as the rest of the class
This is the absolute all time worst excuse ever, it isn't even funny either: "I didn't feel like it" or "I don't wanna"
"My dog ate it!!! I SWEAAAARRR!!!11!!!."
"I was literally on my way to do that right now (while the person is watching tv/playing games/etc.)"
"I was literally on my way to do that right now (while the person is watching tv/playing games/etc.)"